Revealed: UAE parents spend too much time on smartphones

DUBAI A shocking 77 per cent of parents in the UAE admit their children complain they spend too much time on their smartphones, an XPRESS poll has revealed.

The poll was conducted on March 10 following an Indian school teacher’s finding that the majority of students in her class said the biggest complaint they had against their parents was their pre-occupation with smartphones.

When XPRESS readers were asked if the time they spent on smartphones upset their children, 31 per cent of parents polled confessed “it is a common complaint” while 46 per cent said “it bothered them sometimes”. Eight per cent said they were too busy to notice, and only 15 per cent said their children had no issues.

Constant touch

According to experts, the findings are a telling commentary on the changing dynamics of family life in a tech-driven world where the use of smartphones has almost become a necessity. The ability to be in constant touch with the world while on the go, whether it is to access e-mails, instant news and information, make payments or just stay connected with family and friends on social media, smartphones are now the most convenient tools for human communication.

Add to this the wide choice of models available in the market and affordable and attractive data plans offered by telecom operators, the number of smartphone consumers has hit an all-time high. Recent studies, in fact, have ranked the UAE No. 1 in global smartphone penetration, with 73.8 per cent of mobile consumers carrying smartphones.

Says Devika Singh, clinical psychologist with the Dubai Herbal and Treatment Centre: “I have been practising in Dubai for the last 13 years. Earlier, kids had a problem with their parents spending more time than they should on computers and television. Today, smartphones have taken over – they are a computer, television, camera, telephone and what have you, all rolled into one. It’s not that smartphones are bad, they are incredible as they allow us to stay in touch socially or work-wise wherever we are. But the problem arises when the boundaries of usage become blurred.”

Singh cited the disturbing case of a 14-year-old Australian girl who would leave post-it messages on her dad’s smartphone whenever she wanted to communicate something important to him. “When I asked her why, she said she knew her father would not miss the message. There was no way he would not see his smartphone. To me that was symbolic of where the father’s attention was going as a parent.”

Unreasonable demand

In another instance, she recalled how a mum, who wanted her 17-year-old son to cut down on his smartphone usage, was reminded of her own dependence on the device by her 11-year-old daughter. But when they finally agreed to halve the time they spent on their smartphones, it was the mother who cheated on the pact. “Her husband actually caught her going into the washroom to check her phone for messages at least three times,” said Singh, adding that it is unreasonable for parents to expect their children to do something they themselves cannot demonstrate.

Dr Rima Sabban, sociologist, said it is not uncommon to find a family sitting together, at home or at a restaurant, with each member lost in his or her own realm over their smartphones.

“Smartphones are very useful and are a sign of the times. They are fairly new and people are still coming to terms with their vast benefits. But like any addictive behaviour, an overdependence on the device can have an adverse impact not only on the individual, but also his family, social and work relationships,” she said.

Life coach Sunaina Vohra agrees. “We are still grappling with a relatively new medium and the smartphone has become an extension of our lives. We are yet to put etiquette in place and define the limits in which we need to operate.”

She said she was counselling a 12-year-old boy, who lacked self-confidence, when he told her that his parents were always on the phone. “There is a direct correlation between the time and attention that parents give to their children and the self esteem they end up developing.”

A five-year-old Indian girl said, “My father is always working and I snatch the phone from him when I get bored.” But the sheepish father said he used work as a ruse to justify his time on his phone. “I am part of over a dozen WhatsApp groups and I am invariably reading or sending messages when I am at home. I also keep looking at Facebook updates and checking for football match scores.”

Singh said she advises families to set phone-free times and phone-free zones to minimise usage of smartphones (see box). She gave the example of a family where the father comes home from work and turns his phone over for about two-and-a-half hours every evening. The same is expected from the kids – and if they need to use the phone during this time, they must seek permission. Similarly, smartphones are not allowed to be used at the dinner table or in the bedrooms. This is a time meant for family bonding.

She has a word of caution though. She said parents must find a common ground or activity to pursue while keeping themselves and their children away from smartphones. “If there is no healthy alternative, you could be setting yourself up for failure.”

Smart ways to cut use of smartphones

The key is to set phone-free times and phone-free zones around the house.

Put away your phone for a couple of hours in the evening when you come back from work. The same should go for the kids too, so everyone can sit together and catch up on what transpired during the day.

Make sure no one brings the phone to the dinner table too.

Make it a habit not to take the phone with you to bed.

When you are watching TV, keep your phone away.

When you are sitting with your children at home or at a restaurant, make sure your phone is not within reach.

If you are forced to take a call, excuse yourself or seek permission from your kids.

Set boundaries for your kids’ smartphone usage too, but lead by example.

Set brief time slots in the morning and evening for yourself to check or send Facebook, WhatsApp and other social media messages.

Take a short break or vacation without your phone.

YOUSPEAK: How do you manage your time on the smartphone?