A reformed character?

If there is one thing I love, it is machine-based exercise. Pretty much any kind of fitness craze which promises that by simply attaching my body to some form of newfangled device I can get the model-esque physique I've always felt I deserved, I'm in. Hypoxi? Been there, done that. Power Plate? I'm over it. So, when I heard about Reformer Pilates, the kind that involves hooking yourself up to a selection of springs and weights and letting them do the hard work for you, or so I believed, I was too intrigued not to try it.

Naturally, this required an outfit, not to mention a partner in crime. Three-quarter length leggings were purchased and my other half was Jedi mind-tricked into joining me — he's a sucker for a masculine sporting pursuit, so I told him that ‘loads of footballers' owe their careers to regular Pilates classes. This may or may not be true.

OK, so maybe I exaggerated, when I said you just attach yourself to a machine and do nothing. As we entered the room for our starter session at Real Pilates in Jumeirah, I noticed that each of the half dozen stations was occupied by a serious, fit-looking person. I won't lie to you, this concerned me, as did the machinery, which I can only compare to a giant mousetrap. On the plus side, you get to lie down, which is always a bonus. After this, you strap your hands and feet into the pulleys at each end of the mousetrap, sorry, machine, and await instructions.

For someone who can be described, at best, as a tad claustrophobic, this is torture. For my other half, however, it was ‘just like stretching'. As we raised, pulled and pushed our weary limbs, my facial expressions ranged from terror to pain and back again. His, veered between pleasure and contempt, and only served to make me angrier about my own physical limitations. I had brought him along to make me look better. This was not supposed to happen.

Class dismissed, I vowed, as I always do, to incorporate Reformer Pilates into my future fitness routine. After I had started a fitness routine, of course. I imagined my super-toned self, strolling to classes, sporting those impossibly toned upper arms that celebrities have. My other half vowed never to return. It was apparently ‘too easy' and ‘not a proper work-out'. Quitter.

Reformer Pilates, on its own, will not burn mega calories, but it will tone you in a way that nothing else can. Take a solo class first to get the hang of it, then join the more cost-effective group sessions. For more details on Reformer Pilates classes in Dubai, log onto www.real-pilates.com