Death by karaoke

As a nation, the Philippines seems content to just throw on some Lakers shorts and watch a soppy love story while they hum along to the best of Air Supply. It's hard to imagine that these amiable Malays have a dark side and unfeasible to think that any of the 7,107 islands which make up the republic could appear alongside travel advisories on your embassy's website. Yet, right down there with Haiti, ranked 114 out of 144 in the Global Peace Index, sits the Philippines consequently, the third most unruly nation in all of south east Asia. And which part of the country is pulling ordinary Filipinos down? Mindanao.

The trouble with Mindanao

Known as Great Mollucas, Mindanao is a one hour 45 minute flight from the capital, Manila (about Dh300 return with Philippine Airlines). It's the country's second largest island and home to nearly a quarter of the overall population, plus four major terrorist groups.

As we rolled along past protruding bamboo in our beat-up Jeepney, through slums with Spanish verandas, flying cockerel feathers and sleepy-island hues, all the statistics seemed true. Especially as our driver stopped to point out the scene of a machete-aided quadruple murder that had occurred just a week ealier.

Nothing to do with the Islamic uprising by freedom fighters in the south west of the island, a battle that has claimed 120,000 lives over 25 years, this particular melee was over a cut-down tree.

They say the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao, Basilan, Sulu, Tawi-Tawi, north and south Cotabato, Sarangani, Sultan Kudarat, Lanao and Zamboanga should all be avoided. But the deadliest thing I saw in Davao, the island's capital, was a bad Patti Austin rendition in a karaoke bar.

Land of promise

In fact, Mayor Rodrigo Duterte challenges you to find a safer, more accommodating province than Davao in all of south east Asia. His penchant for announcing the names of wanted criminals on TV and then celebrating their assassination a few days later, has transformed this once-lawless city into near Utopia. (Before you sue, none of these extrajudicial killings have ever been linked to him.)

Here, beaches and coral reefs are cushioned by dormant volcanoes, hot-springs, rainforests and river rapids, making this a one-stop shop for budget adventure buffs bored with the usual Australia, New Zealand thing. Sheltered from cyclones that hinder the rest of the archipelago, only occasional earth tremors disturb its relative calm.

A Crocodile Park (+6382-271-2626) lets you get hands-on with all the local wildlife and, contrary to the ethos of conservation, you can also eat the beasts at the adjoining riverside grill. White water rafting trips can also be organised through the park at Dh145 each (+6382-301-2020), while climbers and hikers have Mount Apo, the country's tallest peak, to conquer.

Elsewhere, Japanese tunnels (Dh2 entry) are a nod to the nation's colonial past, while sunken wrecks dating back to the Second World War lie just a scuba dive off Talomo Beach (talk to Davao Scuba Dive Centre +6382-226-2588). If the heat and humidity get too much and it does from March until May Eden Nature Park, (+6382-299-1020) an hour up into the hills, gives you the chance to cool down, admire panoramic views of the city and hunt for the rare waling-waling orchid.

Rough ride

A journey equivalent to that from Mall of the Emirates to Dubai Mall costs Dh2 on a trike, but in a Jeepney, it's just 50 fils.

Therefore jeepneys are a wise choice for longer journeys, whereas trikes are great for negotiating the maze of alleyways between wooden and corrugated iron slums. It's the only way to inhale the true spirit of the place, to get that heady and unrelenting mix of motorbike exhaust, street food and the sweat of the land permeating under the sun from the last downpour.

It seems there was enough concrete to either construct basketball courts on every corner or tarmac the streets and in the end, basketball won.

When religious festivals befall the patron saints of separate barangays (districts), bunting is hung and questionable construction is rattled by the reverberation of overzealous basketball commentary. A true spectacle to chance upon, you'll certainly hear it echoing as your trike rattles down the alleys.

Rife with smells, life, cock-fighting, colour and '80s hits; fresh fruit or fish stalls and street barbecues bombard you. The skewered delicacies are chicken intestines concertinaed on a stick heads, kidneys, hearts and feet. Chicken's feet are known as adidas, either because of the shape of the original logo or because all feet need sneakers. Either way, this bony snack (15 fils) is only worth the holiday snap.

Stay out until dusk and you'll find buckets with cloth coverings crop up beside the stalls. This is balut (Dh1). They're numbered and boiled duck eggs, signifying the amount of days their embryo has been left to incubate. The higher the number on the shell, the crunchier the beak and the more feathers you'll have to spit. It's a sort of poultry-heavy scrambled egg taste, to be swallowed down with salt and vinegar. If you can stomach that, then durian, a spiky pineapple-like fruit, which smells like camel plaque, awaits.

Creamy, yellow but greyish in parts, the aroma is enough to set off the gag reflex. Here's a tip to get the stench off your fingers after eating, fill the shell with water to use as a basin. (In season, three durian cost Dh7).

Paradise on tap

From blackouts to bucket over-the-head showers and bucket down-the-pan-bogs, Davao, indeed the Philippines, is not Paris. She may not like it, unless she's from there. But the place, like the people, is to be taken as it's found. And those who can take it with a greater sense of adventure should consider themselves adopted family.

If it all gets too much, luxury awaits at Pearl Farm (+6382-221-9970), an offshore resort on the Island Garden City of Samal. Here, huge starfish litter transparent waters, while hammocks and spas come as standard. Huts built on sticks jut out into the ocean making it a honeymooners' paradise, but also a great water sports and diving stopover. Mid-range rooms for two cost around Dh1,000 a night.

Island hopping cruises are more affordable alternatives for getting to a deserted beach or coral cluster, with dolphins and whale sharks frequent sightings on the way (Dh700 for 50 people). Sacks of live crabs can be brought up from the shore (Dh13) while marlin and tuna (Dh6/kg) help make bland rice moreish.

Road-tripping

You can't afford to get too relaxed when travelling outside the city, though. If you thought being a novelty to the urban locals was odd, wait until you go road-tripping. Those of a paler complexion will get tired of being called 'Joe' (they think you're American). And generally, anyone a bit different provides reason to get excited.

The bumpy road from Davao to Bislig takes six hours for what should be an hour's jaunt (Dh40). We were en route when the driver pointed out the murder scene and told us about the risk of bandits or poisoning, both of which aren't uncommon.

Despite slightly dodgy overtones, don't be scare-mongered out of roughing it through rural Mindanao. Get a good guide, avoid trouble spots and enjoy the purest form of travel through one of Asia's most unadulterated regions. The sight of paddy fields, indigenous stick houses, semi-submerged water buffaloes and barangay rude boys chewing toothpicks and selling catfish in mud tanks (Dh6), make the back-breaking monotony of an unfinished road bearable and give you great ammunition for the alternative postcard prize.

Where to:
Crash out: The Marco Polo Hotel (+6382-221-0888), just a 20-minute drive from Davao Airport, has basic rooms for two at Dh250 per night. (www.marcopolohotels.com)

Travellers' checks
Getting there: Emirates flies from Dubai to Manila for approx Dh2,600 per person (www.emirates.com). Philippine Airlines flies on to Davao for about Dhs250.(www.philippinesairlines.com)

Visas: No visa is required for most visitors for stays of up to 21 days. But check with the embassy in Abu Dhabi (www.philembassy.ae)

Run a Google search: Red Cross volunteer Eugenio Vagni was held hostage for six months this year on Sulu Island by terrorists before release in July. It coincided with a bomb outside a Cotabato church which killed five. Avoid areas where trouble has flared.