We don’t always learn from people we admire

We often think we are shaped by the people we admire. But just as often, we are shaped by those we never want to become. The clearest lessons are not always about aspiration — they come from contrast, and from patterns we choose not to repeat.

So many people have inspired me to be nothing like them. Over time, I’ve come to realise this too is a form of learning, just not the one we usually talk about.

That may sound like a contradiction, but clarity often comes less from admiration and more from friction — through experience that shows what works, and equally, what does not.

I started working at 18 in Allahabad and later moved to the UAE, where my professional journey has continued to evolve across different places and experiences. Like many who build careers across changing environments, I once believed experience would eventually feel complete — something collected, organised, and mastered over time.

Experience rarely moves in a straight line

But over the years, one thing becomes clear: experience rarely moves in a straight line. It shifts, changes shape, and is influenced more by people than by events.

In many environments, we come across over confident, know-it-all individuals whose presence quietly changes the tone around them. Not loudly, but through certainty in speech — where discussion becomes one-sided and space for open thinking narrows. Sometimes, you realise a room does not need performance to feel full.

The effect is rarely immediate. It appears later as a small internal shift—less ease, less openness, something noticed before it can be fully explained. That is usually the moment to pause rather than react quickly.

With time, patterns become harder to ignore. Urgency is often treated as importance. Constant availability is taken as value. And speed slowly replaces reflection — even though better thinking needs space.

Confidence is often mistaken for certainty. In conversation, this reduces room for other voices, especially when one tone dominates simply because it is firm, not because it is right.

There are also moments when effort and outcome don’t align — not from lack of intent, but because the same approach is repeated without being questioned.

Imitation

Then there is imitation — the copying of visible success without understanding what holds it together. From the outside it looks effective, but in practice it often weakens when the context changes.

At some point, your thinking begins to shift. You stop focusing on what people say, and start noticing what they leave behind — clarity or confusion, energy or fatigue, openness or restriction. That shift is not about cynicism. It simply helps you respond with greater balance.

It also helps you see that not every influence needs to be carried forward. Some are only signals — they show boundaries, sharpen thinking, and help you understand direction.

Just when everything seems aligned, something can still interrupt the pattern, leaving you briefly unsettled.

And still, there is the quiet acceptance that understanding is never complete. In life, the painting is never finished.

We can never be perfect, and perhaps that is the point. Perfection is not a destination, but the act of trying still matters — because that is where refinement happens, even if completion never arrives.

Michael Guzder is Executive Vice-President ‑ Education at GEMS