The old school

You'll find them everywhere, especially now that they live longer and healthier lives. Fathers, all of them retirees, who could be in their sixties or nineties. A mix of Soduku, crosswords, sifting reports in the news and keeping up with the times by decoding instruction booklets for mobile phones, iPods, laptops, digital cameras, and household gadgets keeps them mentally fit.

It takes more than a mere click to operate these and they struggle but eventually master them enough to get the job done, however elementarily. As marvellous as the technology that keeps them in instant touch is the fact that they've mastered it, and not relegated it to the forbidden backwaters, as was the wont a couple of generations ago.

But while they may be ready to move with the times and learn all things technological, they come with a cast-in-stone conscience and their perception of what's right and wrong is rarely open to change. Okay, their grandchildren have taught them a thing or two about changing family equations - if their children haven't - but there are some essentials, like good manners, the truth and fair play, that they aren't ready to compromise on. So, you don't share your family tales with the rest of the world, you don't lie and cheat and back-stab your way up the ladder anywhere, not even on a Monopoly board, and definitely not during a boardroom discussion.

They determinedly live within their means, however small, and if they can't afford something they don't buy it. 'Debt' and 'living on credit' are the dirtiest words in their lexicon, and their idea of credit is a cheque that will be cashed in a day or two. They were the laughing stock of the young and credit-happy until only a few months ago, but now they are looked upon with a certain degree of respect. For them, never asking for a handout was a matter of pride - the same pride that prevented them from approaching their fathers or better-off brothers or sisters for anything in their youth. In time, this became a way of life that also got cast in stone.

Theirs was the slow boat to comfort. They drove the trusty old Fiat from A to B and really didn't understand how changing the vehicle could make the distance shorter. So today, the latest models of car, scooter, or television don't tempt them even remotely and they stare at the young, puzzled and confused, as new models of practically everything find their way into homes and garages.

Young ones milling around in malls, who think nothing of making demands, could learn a thing or two if they looked back a couple of generations. And youngsters on a 'saving' spree who are eating more often in someone else's home rather than at a restaurant, using a friend's vehicle when their petrol runs out, making calls on the office phone or a friend's mobile when their talk-time runs out, would get short shrift from the old school. How could taking advantage of even the closest of friends or relatives be called 'saving'? Saving face was more important - and for them it came by leaning on no one.

Even when the time came to lean, physically, they didn't ask for help but took the shoulder that was proffered. Now, on the eve of another Father's Day - and for the first time one when our father is no longer with us to give us the benefit of his wisdom and experience - we look inward and learn from the example of the old school. There are fathers in our own generation too and the next, and it is part of the circle of life that they will one day teach future fathers what has percolated down to them - what simple living, decency and fair play are all about.

Cheryl Rao is a journalist based in India.