No time to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes

We are all victims — or so we believe. That is how we explain away our indifference to the suffering of our fellow beings — those who are impoverished (as many are in the Third World and sub-Saharan Africa), or face humiliation, injustice, violence and death on a day-to-day basis (as they do in places such as Palestine).

As a people, and species, we are the collective recipients of a phenomenon called ‘compassion fatigue’, a term I first read in a magazine.

Before I explain what ‘compassion fatigue” is, let me ask you not to confuse it with the other, more popularly used, ‘donor fatigue’. That’s the term brought into play when the powers-that-be wish to justify the lack of humanitarian intervention when it is much needed — especially in times of natural calamity.

For example, wealth, especially in terms of food, exists in monumental proportions in this world. It is only a matter of distributing it responsibly, so that a country that faces a drought does not have to bear the consequences of famine as well. That is where the term donor fatigue rears its ugly head. Powerful heads of state and aid agencies refuse to make a difference when they can because they are ‘tired’ of helping. But let me not deviate, for ‘donor fatigue’ is a lengthy, yet futile subject to write about.

The term compassion fatigue was coined in the 1950s. It was a disorder that nurses and caregivers were diagnosed with, and it helped explain away their lack of compassion as they faced the pain of mankind every day of their lives.

But compassion fatigue isn’t just a disorder that affects caregivers. In a more literal sense, compassion fatigue is just that — it makes all of us sick and tired of being compassionate.

Heart-wrenching images

Researchers blame the media, which floods us with heart-wrenching images of families fleeing violence and of children losing their limbs and lives in drone attacks and bomb blasts everyday. That is why we have lost our sense of compassion, they say.

Whatever the explanation, it sure does make extremely selfish and individualistic humans out of us. And perhaps we should stop blaming the media for all social ills.

Let’s face it, racing the clock makes mechanical robots (read inhuman) of all of us. We hardly have time to eat or sleep, let alone consider someone else’s viewpoint, or worry about their woes. There is too much on our plates already. As I said, we are all victims!

Even though all faiths ask us to treat others like we want to be treated, we have no time to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes.

No wonder then that even small acts of kindness now require so much effort and are often foregone for more ‘fulfilling’ (read selfish) objectives in life.

No time to empathise

There are many countries in the world where beggars are a common sight. Yet hardly anyone spares even a thought for their plight or the circumstances that brought them to the roadside.

Ask those commuters who sit in their comfortable air-conditioned cars and they will blame those people for being liars and cheats.

And yes, there is some truth in this line of thinking.

But the truth is also that people no longer have time to empathise with someone who has a broken nose or just one eye.

Our individualistic thought process lets us carry on this practice of utter disregard for others in the realm of ‘listening’ too. When we engage in an intellectual debate, our aim is never to listen, let alone acknowledge or accept a contradictory opinion. All we do is argue so as to win the dialogue, rather than seek the truth.

If only we can consistently refuse to succumb to a routine ruled by selfishness, we can stop being victims and start ‘listening’ to others. Sages we might not turn into, but compassion will work wonders towards changing our life experiences. It will make better humans of us all.