Letters: February 8, 2010

Lost forever
I had just finished high school when Aunt Ludy died of breast cancer. She was like my second mum and she taught me so many things that have made me the man I am today. She underwent chemotherapy and all the treatments the doctors suggested, which were just keeping her alive. I didn’t know the true sense of cancer then. I thought it was just like a fever you just take some rest and paracetamol, and that’s it. It had a huge impact on me as a person, when we lost her. I felt like I lost a part of who I am. She worked for the church and was a true believer in the Almighty. I will never forget her resignation letter, which we handed over to her boss. In it, she wrote: “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” I believe it is very important to be aware of the big C, its symptoms and how to avoid it.
From Mr Leo Marlon Pineda
Dubai

One wrong call
I am one of those unfortunate people who lost their mother to cancer. My beloved mother suffered from breast cancer and ultimately passed away, 25 years ago. The real cause of her death was cancer, but in fact she was not treated properly by the doctors in the hospital. The surgeon at the hospital in Rawalpindi, Pakistan, told us that she was suffering from tuberculosis and put her on medication for that disease. She was treated for tuberculosis for over four months. We then took her to another hospital, when we found no progress in her health. The doctors in Karachi told me that my mother was suffering from cancer and not from tuberculosis. By that time, the disease had reached its second stage. The wrong diagnosis proved to be fatal for my mother.
From Mr Qaiser Butt
UAE

Will to live
I know about cancer as I have been closely associated with people who have suffered from it. Three members of my family have had cancer and fought it however, they could not beat it. My grandmother, my father and my aunt have all lost this battle. Recently, one of my colleagues was diagnosed with cancer, although the primary source of it has not yet been located. Though all three of my family members were tea-drinkers and had no vices such as drinking alcohol or smoking, yet the cancer was detected in their mouth, close to the jaw. With my aunt and grandmother, we got to know at a mature stage and could not do much to save them. However, with my father since he was in a big city and had access to proper medical facilities we were able to fight it till the end. One thing I have found in common between cancer patients is that although it is very difficult to beat the disease, people who have the will, courage and most importantly family support, live longer and at times even win the fight. The idea is to ‘be positive’ and have the ‘will to live not leave’.
From Mr Ghanshyam Vasudeo Vyas
Dubai

Friends forever
We have been living in Dubai for the past 14 years and we came in contact with a very good Indian family. We developed a strong friendship. The wife, who was working for a reputed printing and publishing company in Dubai, visited my office after introductions by a common friend. After two or three such visits and conversations, the acquaintance developed into a friendship, and then something more special they became like family. At this stage, they had a son and we had a daughter. They were of the same age group, same family structure and when they stood together, they looked like twins. Her second son was born and they came to know that he is an autistic child. One fine day, we were informed that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer, at an advanced stage. We were all devastated, but her fighting spirit allowed her to move on with life, as though nothing happened. She always told us not to discuss the topic with her. We continued our daily life as though nothing was wrong everything done with a song and a smile on our faces but one day, abruptly, we heard the news that she was no more. The best memory we have is of her cheerful face. Never in her life did she allow us to see her gloomy. We still pray for her family and our relationship continues ever more strongly with them.
From Mr Sathyaprakkash M. Menon
Dubai

Source of strength
I lost my mother to cancer in 1996, when people around seemed to have less awareness about the disease. She suffered for nine months, when she was under treatment. We did not lose hope till the last moment and we always gave her strength, telling her that she would be fine. We were always hopeful, because all of us could not imagine our lives without our mother. She was the only one who gave us the strength to do everything in life and gave us the best things from her life. I am sorry I am unable to describe my feelings, but I would advise people to please take care of all their loved ones and not hurt anybody around.
From Mr Rashid Qamar
UAE

In loving memory
My earliest memory of my grandfather, Abdul Sattar H., was when I was five. I woke up in the morning and hugged the person lying next to me. I thought it was my mother, because mostly she was the one who slept with me, and called out to her. “Mum,” I said. I heard laughter in reply. I thought it definitely was not my mother’s voice. I opened my eyes and saw my grandfather’s smiling face and blushed red in embarrassment. But he kindly explained to me that my mother was taken to the hospital as I was about to have a little sister. At that age, the whole concept of having a baby was foreign to me. I remember him as a man full of courage, humour, compassion, kindness, pride and piousness. He encouraged me the most to pursue medicine and was ecstatic when I left for Russia to study in a medical academy. Little did anyone know that it would be the last time I would meet my grandfather. A month after I left, he was diagnosed with lung cancer in its last stage. He was old and the tumour was restricting his heart. There was nothing anyone could do except watch and pray, since he was old and an operation would have been fatal. The doctors gave him a year to live. I had high hopes of seeing him in the winter holidays. However, he was gone far too soon. I never got to see him, but he died with a smile on his face. The whole family misses him. At times, I feel that it was better that it was over for him soon, as he did not have to suffer the pain for long. I am astounded at his strength in not showing his pain and bearing it so well for months.
From Ms Areeba H.
UAE