Here's looking at English, Hinglish, Spanglish

Back in Grade 8, my teacher Miss Frowning had a passion, which she shared with incredible force.

She was a dear old soul with a mind as sharp as a tack — unfortunately, she suffered uncontrollable flatulence which she chose to ignore, but generously shared with her students.

Her passion, however, was grammar and elocution — pronunciation, prepositions, nouns, verbs, adjectives and subjunctive clauses.

Each nuance of the English language was explored, examined and accentuated, generally with one of her gentle explosions, just to underscore the point. Today, in this new 21st century, Miss Frowning would despair at the use, abuse, massage and manipulation of her passion.

She would see English evolving into some undecipherable, incomprehensible "cut to the chase" dialogue without principles. Mind, she might also have found the process of this evolution fascinating as she drank in the linguistic race across cultures and borders.

She may even have realised this "haphazard" English touches all spectrums of our society, business, religion and politics.

Hinglish, Spanglish and Franglish

Don't tell the French, but English has become the international language leader, although it has to be said, its purity has somewhere been lost in translation.

But my, oh my, oh my, what fun we've had in this dilution.
As an example, the latest statistics from linguistics professor David Crystal of the University of Wales reveals 350 million Indians now speak Hinglish as a second language which, in fact, exceeds the number of English-speaking people in both the US and the UK.

In order to keep abreast of these developments, instead of "having to catch my flight," I now do an "airdash." Rather than "cancelling" my dinner plans, I simply "prepone" for lunch. I'm not "Bangalored" yet, meaning my job has been outsourced to India, but my husband is threatening. In turn, I jokingly mention his new "stadium" which is a bald spot with a fringe of hair. When I say "Hello" to the staff in our building, they respond with, "Yes, very well, thank you", thereby making me think I've missed a step in conversation.

Then there is Spanglish. A film was made out of this convoluted evolution of the English language, to great acclaim — a comedy that is highly infectious in its inherent ability to discern the humour of linguistics. More so, Spanglish has introduced "code shifting." This is where you begin a sentence in your native tongue and finish it in English.
And it would appear that "code shifting" is becoming a growing phenomenon. I've just returned from France and didn't even realise I had somehow achieved this new doctorate in linguistic studies. My "code shifting" abilities were beyond, well, beyond words.

At each hotel we stayed, the first priority was to find out if internet was available. "Avez-vous le WiFi?" which was usually met with, "Je ne comprend pas." Great! "Avez-vous le Wiffy — the card you buy that enables you to download your e-mails and respond?" Thankfully, the French are also into code shifting "Oui, oui, Madam, we have the cards ici."
This is all great fun, highly successful in getting your point across, business completed and obtaining the services you require, however massage and manipulation carry a far darker side to the art of word play.

Massaging andmanipulating fact

Language is magical. It brokers the world of communication while providing the vehicle to massage reality and be conservative with the truth. Politicians, in particular, are masters in this art, but it is now filtering down through the ranks. You need look no further than a CV, PR or advertising campaign to realise this is fact and not fiction.

Point in case, we've all seen how the cosmetics industry promotes its ability to turn your 50-ish face back to a newborns; how their new mascara will have you brushing lashes back to the crown of your head; and, how their perfumes will exude passion. Really? Last time I rushed out and bought these little miracles, I found the lines remained, the lashes clumped and smudged nowhere near the back of my head and the exotic new fragrance smelt like wet hay and horse urine.

Then there's the CV — jumps out of planes without a parachute; types at 140 km an hour; tri-lingual; computer literate; and an Executive MBA. On paper, you've found the perfect candidate — in reality, you've probably hired a master storyteller, all thanks to word play.

Of course, the manipulation of language and the message it transmits is paramount to individual and mass acceptance. Remember in 1999/2000, the very word ‘millennium' nearly drove us to our knees? ‘9/11' has become the catch phrase for all that is evil in the world; the ‘war on drugs' has now been replaced with the ‘war on terror' and the ‘axis of evil' has a boogeyman under every bed. This manipulation fires the synapses of interpretation and is used effectively throughout all aspects of society.

Karl Rove, one of Bush's top advisors has the Machiavellian approach to communications to the masses. According to Kevin Phillips, author of the American Dynasty, Rove's belief is that "the great majority of mankind is satisfied with appearances, as though they are reality."

His approach is to hammer home, over and over and over again a message. It's about transferring terminologies from realities and ‘simple speak' to the words that eventually create a brainwashing effect. Hey, if you're told often enough and it's headline news, it must be true. Miss Frowning would be amused.

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