Parenting solutions

This month our experts answer your questions on sibling relationships, aromatherapy for babies and nightmares.

Q A friend has recommended I try aromatherapy for my fretful baby. Please can you tell me more about this.

Graça Ward, a complementary therapist at Essential Beauty Salon (04-3955909), says: "Only pure and natural essential oils and carrier oils should be used for baby's skincare. The benefits of essential oil-enhanced products for a fretful baby can be a real life-saver.

"German Chamomile's hypnotic effect, coupled with a parent's loving touch, is a wonderful remedy for an unconsolable baby. Learn to calm your baby naturally and safely by applying the diluted chamomile aromatherapy oils to your baby's pulse points.

"Use on soles of feet for colic, gently stroking with your thumb away from toes. Use on cuts, itching skin or eczema. Roman Chamomille, Lavender and Grapefruit aromatherapy essential oils can be used as a room spray for babies and children.

"They are both calming and deodorising. You need only use the scents sparingly to calm hyperactive children and restless babies or use as a sleep time ritual.

"Never, ever use aromatherapy oils directly onto the baby's skin, always dilute as recommended or mix into a water-based cream. Remember, with aromatherapy oils, less is more. Use very sparingly."

Q My daughter and son are just one year apart and have always been very close. Now, my son, who is eight, is becoming more independent, which is distressing his seven-year-old sister who feels left out. How can I ease this?

Dr Devika Singh, a psychologist at the Dubai Herbal and Treatment Centre (04 3351200), says: "This is an important developmental phase for both children. On the one hand your son needs to differentiate himself from his sibling.

"Your daughter will also have to begin to negotiate her own independence by selecting activities that don't involve her brother. As long as they continue to share some 'special' interests, they will have the space to develop their own identity in a healthy way.

"Try not to force them to be together because you think they need to as it can cause them to resent each other.

"Most children work through these changes in a healthy manner, however if you notice changes in your daughters mood, appetite or sleeping habits she may be at risk for depression in which case you must consult a child mental health professional immediately.

"I would recommend spending some individual time with both children to help them through this process."

Q Over the past month I have noticed that my baby often wakes up during the night with a start. Is it possible that a four-month-old can be having nightmares? She settles easily enough after she has woken, but I am concerned that there is something troubling her.

Dr Brian Symon, a family medicine practitioner at the Australian Family Care Clinic (04-3694433), says: "Dreaming is a major part of a child's sleep. At the age of four months the baby may spend up to 60 per cent or even 70 per cent of their sleep in dreaming sleep.

Sometimes called rapid eye movement sleep or REM sleep. This sleep is important for a number of important brain functions, which include the consolidation of memory.

"Nightmares are not a relevant concept at this age as data processing or thought processes of a baby do not have that degree of definition.

"The startled waking can be caused by either normal 'startle' reflexes or over-tiredness causing excessive sensitivity to movements. The last cause is by far the most common problem."

If you have a parenting question, e-mail aquariusedit@alnisrmedia.com.