10 one-liners redefined

Tiffany Allen, businessdevelopment and project manager, Delta Lighting Solutions.

"Whatever"
Whatever you are saying right now means absolutely nothing to me. But you should definitely keep talking.

"I'll get to it as soon as possible"
Oh yes, I have marked your work as high priority. I’ll get to it as soon as I've updated my Facebook status, sent a Tweet, checked the Fantasy Football rankings and the news channels, YouTubed four new songs and downloaded them to my iPod, updated and synchronised my iPod, uploaded some photos to the internet and picked up my daily cuppa!

"We should get together sometime"
Maybe when you're taller, funnier, smarter, more interesting, better dressed and have more money.

"Morning!"
Your cat is sick, your car just diedwhile you were on your way to a new job, a clumsy colleague spilt the last cup of coffee from the machine all over your Pierre Cardin suit as you were heading to an important presentation! But hey, in spite of all this, it’s still a "Good Morning", isn't it?

"Whatever floats your boat"
Yeah, go ahead and do whatever you like, even though I think you're quite crazy. I'm embarrassed to be standing
within a five-metre radius of the "boat" that is your life and you can be assured that we will never be on the
same boat.

"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"
There are close to seven billion people on the planet. And I'm sure someone will find that Wierdo/Plain
Jane attractive. Not me, but ‘someone’ out there.

"There's always a next time"
Of course, there"s always another chance for you to make yet another silly mistake.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
Why don't you like, disappear, so that I can experience the joy of living without you.

“Anyway…”
Lets change the subject because I’meither a) bored to death with this  one or b) I’m terribly uncomfortable with the way this conversation is going so I must divert your attention to a new topic of my choice.

“All good things must come to an end”
Much as I would like to use the word ‘bad’ in place of ‘good’ I’m not doing so because I have more than a modicum of decency. Also, we both know that if it was really that good, it wouldn't be ending.