10 excuses that work for almost everything

1. I’m painting my room on the 23rd so I can’t drive you to the airport. Sorry, did you say you’re leaving on the 24th? Hmmm, I’m observing the ‘Don’t Go Out Day’ on the 24th, it’s an ancient tribal tradition I’m reviving.

2. I haven’t finished thinking of what to tweet today so I can’t do any chores. My followers will be disappointed!

3. My horoscope says I can’t leave the house  as I’ll be bitten by a baby. Sorry I can’t come  to work – it’s too risky!

4. The thought of cooking gives me a panic attack so it would be great if you could  make my dinner.

5. It’s very difficult for me to stick to a diet  unless you want to give me the ‘all you can  eat as long as it’s French fries diet.’ After all,  French women don’t put on weight. Well, at least that’s what that book said.

6. Can you answer the doorbell please? I haven’t finished tagging myself in the Facebook pictures from yesterday’s party.

7. So sorry I couldn’t attend the seminar,  I couldn’t find my house keys and then when I finally did, I couldn’t find the car keys. What a nightmare!

8. I have a rare case of 24-hour selective blindness. I can browse the internet but  I can’t see anything outside, so I can’t help with  the gardening.

9. Take out the rubbish? I can’t possibly do  that until I get my roots done. Someone  might see me.

10. I think I set my New Year’s resolutions  too high at the beginning of the year so  I’m thinking of postponing them to 2014.