Monkey business

The "smallest monkey in the world" is surprisingly easy to spot, squatting alone in the forests of Bohol, South East Asia. The tarsier's huge eyes give it away, for a start. Resembling one of those woollen pom-pom animals that children make at school, this extraordinary mini-creature's enormous hazelnut-coloured eyes fill practically the whole width of his dinky face, while together his head and body measure a mere four to six inches. He is indeed exceedingly titchy.

Wide-eyed and scared

During the day, this nocturnal animal clings for dear life to a narrow branch with strange, twig-like fingers and a long, long tail.

If you approach it, even with the friendliest of intentions, those enormous glassy eyes suddenly swell and bulge, just like Puss in the Shrek films, until you worry they're going to ping right out of their sockets.

Apparently — and this is the saddest thing I've ever heard — if they get stressed, for example by being kept in captivity in a small enclosure, they commit suicide by smashing their heads against anything hard and handy.

Before I knew this, I headed off to the Philippines hoping to be able to cradle one of these cutie-pies in the palm of my hand — the internet has plenty of footage of tourists doing just that. But I soon changed my mind.

Bohol is one of the most famous places to see tarsiers in the Philippines. It is a small island just off the larger island of Cebu, from where you can catch a ferry. Otherwise you can fly to Bohol's Tagbilaran airport. Panglao, an island off Bohol's southern tip, where I stayed, is reached by road bridge.

Good things to see

It's fair to say that Bohol does not yet have a fully developed tourist industry but this raw, uncommercialised quality is attracting more intrepid travellers.

There are good things to see, not least the region's famous Chocolate Hills. The 1,268 perfectly symmetrical hills look like the eggs of some giant bird. They are covered in grass — not much else grows on them because of poor soil — which turns brown in the dry season, making them resemble chocolate bon bons, hence the name. Local legend has it that they are the tears of a lovesick giant.

For the best view, you can climb a normal hill where there is a café and a few stalls selling souvenirs — everything from T-shirts to keyrings to mugs featuring tarsiers.

You'll learn about the history of the Philippines and colonial influences on a visit to the stone church of Baclayon, which is the oldest in the country, dating from the late 1500s.

You will also find out that about 80 per cent of the population is Catholic.

Elsewhere, there's a butterfly farm where you can see these beautiful insects up close, a seashell museum that houses a massive collection and a cave full of stalactites and birds.

The unsophisticated nature of some of the tourist attractions in Bohol makes them all the more charming: Lunch on-board a Loboc river cruise takes you past small settlements where the village children, looking so smart in colourful little uniforms, dance and sing on waterside pontoons in return for donations.

But while tourist attractions in this undeveloped part of the Philippines may be described as basic, the Eskaya Beach Resort & Spa comes as a very pleasant surprise. It is a gem of a retreat, hidden away in a private beachside spot.

Eskaya is gorgeous, a little heaven on Earth, with every touch of luxury you could want. The Lantawan restaurant serves delicious food and Filipino cuisine is packed with flavour.

The national dish is adobo, a meal of chicken simmered in soya sauce, vinegar, black pepper and a tonne of garlic. I hoped it wouldn't put the teeny monkeys off — surely they'd smell me coming a mile off.

Quest for the primate

But back to the tarsier. I saw various tarsier tourist traps at the roadside with a few tatty captive specimens.

But it's better to see them at the Tarsier Sanctuary near Corella, which is operated by the Tarsier Foundation, an organisation dedicated to protecting what's left of the native population.

You can accompany a guide into the cat-proof reserve to see happy tarsiers clinging to the trees. They're a whole lot fluffier than the roadside exhibits, it has to be said.

And I made do with cuddling a soft-toy tarsier rather than handling the real thing.

Go There!

FLY... Singapore Airlines: From Dubai to Cebu via Singapore Dh3,285

If you come via Cebu, take a 25-minute flight or the 90-minute boat trip to Tagbilaran. Or catch a ferry to Tubigon and bus from Tubigon to Tagbilaran.

— Information courtesy the Holiday Lounge by Dnata. Ph: 04 3492886

Bohol, philippines