How to promote positive mental health – in yourself and your children

Mental health encompasses our emotional, psychological and social wellbeing. It affects how we think, feel and act, and also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others and make choices. It’s hugely important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence and through adulthood.

The World Health Organisation has indicated that 20 percent of the global population suffer with mental health, and this is likely to rise. That is a staggering statistic, indicating just how important it is for parents, caregivers, teachers and all adults working with children to become more aware and vigilant.

Every child is unique, making it impossible to deal in absolute certainties; however, the following can indicate that a young person may be struggling with mental health:

• Eating or sleeping too much or too little

• Pulling away from friends and usual activities

• Having low or no energy

• Showing that nothing matters

• Yelling or fighting with family and friends

• Experiencing severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships

• Complaining of persistent thoughts and memories that they can’t get out of their head

• Hearing voices or believing things that are not true

• Thinking of harming themselves or others

• Inability to perform daily tasks like homework or playing

• Having unexplained aches and pains

• Feeling helpless or hopeless

• Engaging in age-inappropriate risky behaviour

• Feeling unusually confused, forgetful, on edge, angry, upset, worried or scared

If you notice any of these, it is very important that you reach out to your school wellbeing representative or counsellor to get immediate attention.

Nurturing positive mental health

The best way to nurture and promote positive mental health in children and young people is to give them positive role models; showing them how to do things can be more powerful than simply stating them.

Positive mental health can support children in realising their full potential, coping with life stressors, working productively and making meaningful contributions to their communities.

A helpful checklist to measure when you or the young person in your care are feeling mentally unwell is the ‘Healthy Mind Platter’, a concept devised by Dr Dan Siegal and Dr David Rock. It also provides clear tools to help address these feelings and self-regulate.

Time in

More than ever, we need to be listening to our inner world to function better with our daily tasks. Time in involves quiet reflections and internally focusing on sensations, images and thoughts. Time in should be intentional, which means planning and making time for it.

PRACTICAL TIP: Borrowing from Brene Brown’s podcast on Unlocking Us, you can develop a feelings rating scale of 1-10. As a family, share each of your ratings, being more mindful of the exchanges with each other. When the numbers run low for all members of your household, brainstorm plans to pick things up. This will help nourish your family’s needs and return you to operating status.

Sleep time

With any disruption in life, such as the pandemic, the first casualty in our daily routine is usually sleep. Most people suffer from sleep dysfunction, although it’s vital to understand that sleep forms a very important part of our mind’s ability to rest and process the learnings from the previous day.

There is significant research that states that lack of sleep impacts mood, physical wellbeing and mental health. It is also important to go to be bed earlier, as the melatonin released in the earlier part of the night helps fill any gaps.

PRACTICAL TIP: Decide on a couple of days when you can go to bed early and catch up on sleep. You can keep late nights for the weekend.

Physical time

The mind-body connection cannot be denied, and when one is not working at the needed capacity, the other struggles. Most experts in the field recommend 20-30 minutes of physical activity per day.

PRACTICAL TIP: Start small. Begin with walking or light jogging, and time yourself. If you are feeling ambitious, you can try a workout video. And ask a household member to participate or join in to motivate your activity.

Down time

This should be non-focused time with no goals, when you allow your mind to wander freely. While people commonly resist this, it is actually important for our mind to be bored. There is often creativity at the other side of boredom, and this has been the cornerstone of innovation in human evolution.

PRACTICAL TIP: Clinicians often asks clients to stare at a wall and allow the mind to wander. When feelings of discomfort emerge, the person can become an observer of their own self and come from a place of curiosity instead of judgement.

Connecting time

The second casualty of the pandemic, after sleep, has been our ability to connect with friends and family who do not live with us. But video conferencing technology and social media apps can help us bridge the gap. Connecting time is when we should make the effort to use these technologies to bring us together.

PRACTICAL TIP: Try and schedule meetings with friends – meetings with video, not merely audio, as this changes the dynamics of the connection.

Focus time

This usually involves goal-oriented tasks that give a sense of achievement. Many people fulfil this appetite via the daily tasks in their professional lives. However, if that’s not the case or you find you’re inhibited in your job, try taking up a new hobby that moves you in this area.

PRACTICAL TIME: This can include decluttering your home, gardening, doing puzzles, learning to cook or enhancing your cooking skills.

Play time

This entails spontaneous and creative use of your time, and adults need play just as much as children. Play time gives permission for joy and happiness, releasing endorphins that allow you to reduce the perception of pain you may be experiencing.

PRACTICAL TIP: Join in with the games and play time of your children and allow them to lead. Be silly and vulnerable.

Children’s Mental Health Week should serve as a reminder to us all of the importance of promoting positive mental health for ourselves and the young people in our lives. By prioritising wellbeing – at home, at school and at work – we can look forward to a brighter, better future for everyone.

Mahira Zakiuddin is the Director Counselling and Wellbeing, Wellington Schools, GEMS Education