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Opinion Off the Cuff

A voyage to the interior

I enjoy going through my old diaries as I am reminded of experiences and emotions



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Every year I look forward to freebies from banks such as diaries, wall calendars and desk calendars. But these past few years all these organisations have tightened their belts and no gifts are forthcoming.

One bank offered me an exercise book instead, which I disdainfully declined. I thought back to a time when you were offered all these without having to ask. Sometimes, if you pushed your luck, you might even be given more than one of each. Laden with these gifts, you then distributed the extras to family and friends.

I have maintained a diary for more years than I can remember and writing down all that you did each day also served as a reminder of when, where and why. There were certain calendars that were coveted such as those of Air India. The art work was exquisite and when the year ended, you kept them as collector’s items, intending to maybe frame them some day.

Marking important dates on calendars served as a powerful reminder and made sure you never forgot birthdays, anniversaries or appointments. They also helped keep track of the passage of time and there was a sense of satisfaction when you could tear off a page as the month ended. Of course, if there were beautiful pictures or paintings, you just turned it over to the next month.

A date in the future

Often you marvelled at how quickly a month had passed or wondered why a particular month seemed so long. I have often wondered why a month with 31 days seems interminably long as compared to 30 days. What difference does a day make? Actually, it does make a difference when you are looking forward to a date in the future and the days seem to crawl.

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Calendars are comforting somehow as it is reassuring to know that time can be categorised in units. I know that one can use the calendar on one’s phone for reminders but somehow I remember things better when I can see the date circled. I don’t have to worry that I will forget an important date because all I have to do is refer to my calendar. The day I want to be reminded of has been circled and a little abbreviated note tells me exactly why this reminder is important.

Coming back to diaries, as a teenager this was an important outlet for venting if one felt frustrated by the actions of others. You could pour your heart out in these pages and it was an effective therapeutic tool. Somehow there was a tacit understanding within the family that this diary was not to be read by anyone else.

Historical value

Diaries have historical value too such as those of Samuel Pepys and Anne Frank. My diary might not offer important insights into the time period I have lived in but it is a record of my personal experiences, thoughts and feelings. I wouldn’t want anyone else to read it even when I am long gone.

Nowadays people write blogs or vlogs but these are read by a select few. Keeping a diary helps you deal with stress or negativity as jotting down your thoughts makes you mindful of what you are feeling at a particular time and helps regulate emotions.

I enjoy going through my old diaries as I am reminded of experiences and emotions that were so all-consuming at the time but now, with the passage of time, I can look back without a certain detachment and enjoy the account as something that was in the past and that perhaps helped shape me.

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In the words of Martina Navratilova, “Keeping a journal of what’s going on in your life is a good way to help you distil what’s important and what’s not.”

Vanaja Rao is a freelance writer based in Hyderabad, India

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