Stop the gossip: Why workplace rumours spread and how to protect yourself
Rumours are a shortcut to feeling connected to another person…
Rumour has it … that you’ve been attacked by several angry cats and are laid up in hospital.
For Abu Dhabi-based Kelly Sherrin, an environmental studies teacher, this fantastic tale was born the day she had to leave school early. Her sudden absence sparked the anxious imagination among her class of six-year-olds, who quickly connected her ‘mysterious disappearance’ to three stray cats tottering around the school. “One child spread the news to the others, that I was scratched by a cat. Then, it became a confused game of Chinese whispers, because by the end of the day, the entire class was convinced that the school had been taken over by angry, raging cats and I had been caught in the middle of a vengeful feline onslaught,” she says, recalling how her colleague had to calm several frazzled nerves, explaining that Sherrin had work at home, and no, the cats were sitting demurely in a corner of the school, without a care in the world.
That’s just six-year-olds, spreading pint-sized panic. As adults, we might not imagine a feline doomsday, but we’re hardly innocent when it comes to crafting rumors - and often, it’s hard to trace where they started or who believes them. And quite often, rumours can be downright malicious. As in the case of Dubai-based Samairah Sharma, who was accused of holding a job in a rival company. “I still don’t know who started it, but everyone was so convinced that I had two jobs, and I could be leaking secrets to the other. It took so much effort to put out those fires,” she says.
It gets ugly. As Sherrin grimly testifies after dealing with rumours spread by adults, being mauled by cats might be far less painful. So, the question is, why do people spread rumours? What is it about spreading half-baked information to others, without really verifying facts?
A double-edged sword
Be honest, you would be instantly alert when someone says, “Did you know… ?”
In Gen Z lingo, your reply: Spill that tea.
And the sad truth is, the ‘tea’ is always piping hot as long as you’re not involved. Farah Dahabi, a Dubai-based clinical psychologist attempts to explain the psychology of rumours, which can normally be just exchanging gossip that doesn’t have any sort of veracity. “They are a shortcut to feeling connected to another person, but at someone else’s expense. It’s a way to feel ‘in the know’, but it can also backfire, leaving a residue of mistrust, as the people you gossip with, are usually wondering if you would gossip about them next,” she says.
Rumours are a double-edged sword, and quite often, can be damaging and destructive. “They’re capable of bringing us together and tearing us apart,” adds Dahabi. “We are most susceptible to creating rumours when information or the truth is unclear and trying to make sense of a situation. Our brains are wired to search for meaning and chemically reward us when we piece together information to create a story, even though the story and meaning we have woven together may be false.” For this reason, we must be intentionally discerning, not believing everything, we hear just because it may 'feel' true and build muscle to acknowledge what we don't know or that remains unclear.
We are most susceptible to creating rumours when information or the truth is unclear and trying to make sense of a situation. Our brains are wired to search for meaning and chemically reward us when we piece together information to create a story, even though the story and meaning we have woven together may be false...
Rumours hit harder in close relationships or workplaces because these environments are built on trust and proximity. When someone spreads a rumor in these spaces, it feels personal - like an attack on the unspoken social contract. In work settings, reputations are currency, and in close relationships, trust is sacred. A rumour doesn’t just distort truth; it destabilises the foundation of the connection, creating cracks that are hard to repair.
‘All it takes is one whisper…’
Moreover, as Elizah Timmons, an Abu Dhabi-based workplace counsellor explains, pre-existing perceptions about a person often serve as fertile ground for rumours to flourish. “If someone is already seen as secretive, ambitious, or unpredictable, others may feel more justified - or even intrigued - in filling in the blanks with imagined scenarios.” These preconceived notions can make it easier for people to indulge in rumour-spreading, as they begin to weave stories that ‘fit’ with the person’s perceived personality or actions.
Timmons explains further at how rumours tend to become more twisted with each retelling, “It’s almost as if the groundwork is already laid, and all it takes is one whisper for these assumptions to grow into full-fledged tales. The more an idea aligns with what people think they know about someone, the quicker it seems to spread, feeding off biases that make each added twist sound oddly plausible.” This sensation can be addictive, creating a sense of urgency to share the rumor. Often, people share rumors not just as information but as proof that they were “right all along”, which makes it all the more potent for spreading. And that, is an example of the confirmation bias.
Timmons recalls a client of hers, who was generally reserved by nature, and what many considered ‘aloof’ at work. During a particularly tumultuous period, she managed to retain her job, while many others didn’t, and this led to the gradual belief that she had bad-mouthed her colleagues and ensured that they lose their jobs to protect hers. “People, who are already stressed out and angry, latch on to any form of negativity and are ready to believe the worst about someone else, without any form of proof. So, the rumours keep spreading and even a minor, insignificant action such as ‘oh she didn’t even say hello to me’, can become fodder for gossip,” adds Timmons. “Misery truly loves company, and people tend to muse over the few bits they see and feel, spinning full stories that can damage someone else’s reputation.”
Soothing the discomfort of ambiguity
Cognitive dissonance occurs when our beliefs clash or our actions don’t align with our values, creating discomfort. To ease this, we adjust our perceptions, often relying on rumors to provide a simple explanation, even if it's not true.
“People dislike ambiguity,” says Timmons, “And rumors offer a quick fix, reducing tension by providing a comforting story.” Sharing these stories helps validate adjusted beliefs, spreading rumours as others seek reassurance.
This coping mechanism, driven by confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance, explains why people so quickly believe and share unverified rumours, maintaining their worldview without confronting uncomfortable truths.These tendencies allow people to stay comfortable in their worldviews, avoid inner conflict, and feel confident - even if the stories they’re spreading aren’t necessarily true.
The consequences of baseless rumours
Rumours, slander and malicious gossip harm a person’s reputation, sometimes irreparably. “You don’t know where it began and neither do you know how to end it,” explains Charlotte Cosway, a Dubai-based Human Resources manager. “Some are so intangible, what do you even do, go and tell everyone ‘listen this isn’t true about me’?”
After being in Human Resources for 15 years, Cosway says that she has seen the incisive, devastating impact rumours can have on a person. “It doesn’t matter if they’re proved innocent of all the slander; the damage has been done. What you considered a fun exchange over tea in the break room, actually ruined someone else,” she says. It tears into the person, as they become more conscious of talking to others, afraid of what to say, believing it might be used against them. “Essentially, you’re living on the edge,” she says.
Cosway remembers from her own personal experiences: She had taken a few weeks leave to look after her mother, during an important time in the company. When she returned, she was faced with accusations of ‘going for a holiday’ and ‘ignoring her responsibilities’. “Finally, I had to pull out all the medical documentation to prove that I had actually been spending the last few weeks at a hospital,” she recalls. “After that episode, I could just not trust anyone, and I left the company, months later.”
That’s the power of rumours: It breeds mistrust, erodes confidence and harms well-being, explains Timmons. “You just get lost in a sea of justifications, and it is duly unfair, because you know that you have nothing to warrant such behaviour.”
So, how can you protect yourself from rumours?
To protect yourself from rumours, it’s crucial to stay grounded in facts and preferably avoid engaging in gossip, says Natasha Singh, a Dubai-based stress specialist.
Maintain clear and open communication with those around you to prevent misunderstandings. If confronted with a rumour, address it directly with the source or relevant parties to clarify the truth. Focus on building strong, trusting relationships, so people are less likely to believe or spread false information about you. Lastly, remember to remain composed and not react impulsively responding calmly can defuse rumours before they escalate.