I showed my wife an article that said 15 per cent of married men do not have any close friends and that being single has health benefits.
It was a boring day in Dubai with a dust storm swirling outside and as we do not play board games, I thought this was a good time to be educated on health matters.
“If you go out every week with your friends to the club, I shall be single very soon,” she retorted. “How’s your hypertension, by the way,” she asked, so that I could get the point.
“There must be a good reason why married men do not have any close friends,” I retorted.
I told her about my very good pal back in the Saudi days and how we got into various adventures and had a lot fun. Then one day he got married.
“I went to visit him at his flat and he was polite but seemed distracted. His wife barely came into the room to see me. And that was the last I ever saw of him,” I said.
“Fifteen per cent of how many husbands?” she asked.
“It does not say in the article,” I said.
“It’s a fake statistic,” replied my wife.
“Anyway, health experts say to lead a happy life you must have good friends,” I said. “Relatives do not count, and having close relatives near you leads to bad digestion,” I said.
“The second part is my finding,” I said. “Observing expats, especially Indian, Pakistani and Filipino, who have tons of relatives around them has made me an expert on family matters,” I said.
“We never go out as we do not have any friends,” said my wife.
Blaming nuclear family trend
“Well, we are not exactly the life of the party. Every time I try to tell that joke that people love, you cough and create a distraction and tell my audience that the joke is not for adults. I have to stop and explain that it is really funny, which ruins the punch line every time,” I said.
“That shocked couple never invited us back again,” said my wife. “The trend towards nuclear families is what is the problem with society today,” she expounded. “There is no support from the extended family and kids grow up barely knowing their grandparents.”
“I wouldn’t be too thrilled if I was a millennial and have to teach the ditsy grandparent how to Facebook and not peer closely into the laptop camera, or to take a selfie without dropping the phone on the dog’s head and startling it,” I said.
“And making a new friend in Dubai is very difficult, especially someone who has a wacky sense of humour,” I said. “You are different, you laugh at everything I do,” I told my wife, tongue-in-cheek.
“I also read somewhere that a spouse is your best friend and companion,” said my wife.
This was not going exactly as planned, I thought to myself.
“The UAE population is very young, both the Emiratis and expats in the workforce are in their early 30s and the majority of the population are not exactly workaholics but are too busy either driving to work or driving back home,” I said.
“I just got back home now. The traffic was killing me. I am pooped out. Can we plan to meet next week,” said a newly-made friend. The weeks slowly passed into months.
The article says that the common notion that single people are lonely and unhappy is untrue, I said. “A wellness and happiness site says that single people are more likely to be in touch with their parents, friends and neighbours and ready to offer help,” I said.
My wife sighed deeply. “People make big mistakes early in their lives. Please let the cat in, she’s protesting against the weather,” she said.
Mahmood Saberi is a freelance journalist based in Dubai. You can follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/ mahmood_saberi.
