UAE: Parents urged to dial down expectations from children

Dubai: Students from Indian curriculum schools undergo tremendous stress and fear triggered by performance anxiety close to exams.

Asma Afreen, a student psychologist and counsellor who has practised in a school in India for a year, has dealt with several adolescent students dealing with examination phobia.

“For nearly a year at a convent school in Bengaluru, I counselled students from grade 9-12. I’ve dealt with complaints of going blank before an exam or unable to sleep before an exam," Afreen said.

"There have also been children having nightmares before an exam leading to disturbed sleep and patchy memory the next day,” she added.

Afreen feels competitiveness is intrinsic to the Indian DNA.

“India is a country of 1.4 billion people. Just by our sheer numbers, our stakes are higher, our competition is fiercer and the number of people competing for each university seat and each job role is higher. That has filtered down to schools.”

She added that Indian parents needed to manage the expectations they place on their children.

Exam anxiety

“Every Indian parent, hoping to prepare their children better, invariably and unintentionally, start pushing their child to perform better academically.

"Indians are extremely social people with usually large family networks; and there is a strong tendency to compare their children with those of peers, relatives and colleagues which leads to additional stress for the children involved.”

The American Psychology Association’s manual points out that exam anxiety is characterised by a marked and persistent fear of social or performance situations in which embarrassment may occur.

At the core of this anxiety is the fear of failure which hampers the child’s performance in exams, added Afreen.

Afreen said the best way to tackle it would be to get parents and teachers to manage their expectations about a student’s performance and not place too much burden of outcome on the young mind.

“Parents and teachers should ensure adequate exam preparation, planning and keep a positive, encouraging environment to ensure that the child is not stressed before an exam. Emphasising the child’s strengths and setting realistic expectations can make the child grounded and help him/her handle failure better.”

What students can do to fight back the phobia:

According to Tanya Dharamshi, Clinical Director and Counselling Psychologist at Priory Wellbeing Centre, Dubai, there are several measures a student can take to overcome exam phobia. Here are some:

What can parents do?