Disney dreaming

All aboard! It’s 11am and there are 30 of us gathered outside on the top deck of the Disney Dream cruise ship. We’re docked at the Bahamian port of Nassau and it’s one of those hot-cold kind of days – the salty sea wind gusts right through my summer dress even as the sharp Caribbean sun is making me squint through my sunglasses. I hug my arms in close and start jiggling my feet around – partly to warm myself up, and partly because I’m buzzing with nervous energy. Everyone around me is. All we know is that a surprise guest is about to arrive at any moment. And it’s pretty clear that whoever it is must be a serious VIP.

Suddenly, there’s a flurry of activity. One of the heavy cruiseliner doors swings open and a small group of serious-looking people in dark shades step out into the sunlight: it’s The Entourage (every VIP has to have an entourage). There’s a collective intake of breath as our tour leader comes forward to introduce the special guest. He builds up the suspense, while the crowd fuses together and inches eagerly forwards; everyone is trying to be the first to see who it is. Then someone screams: ‘Mickey!!!!’

Out steps Captain Mickey (Mickey Mouse dressed in his naval attire) and the crowd simply loses it. We transform from a civilised group of grown-ups to a dog-eat-dog rabble of crazy people. There’s jostling, pushing and flailing arms. I know it’s ridiculous, but I can’t help getting caught up in it myself. We’re cheering, laughing, shouting for the attention of what must be a 165cm-or so person in a cartoon-mouse costume (sorry!). Before I know it, I’ve pushed my way to the front and I succeed in doing what we are all desperate to do – something that feels like the perfect way to encapsulate all the time we’ve had on this trip so far, and something that will stay in our memories forever: I take a selfie with Mickey Mouse. And then I retreat hastily to the back of the crowd and wonder what on earth just came over me.

There is just something about Disney that brings out the inner child in everybody. I was on a cruise around the Bahamas with Disney Cruise Lines, having spent three days in Orlando enjoying the parks at the Disney World Resort. Before touching down in Florida I would never have imagined that I’d find myself hustling for a photo with Mickey – just as I’d never have expected that I’d wear Minnie Mouse ears on my head for days on end, nor that I’d throw shapes with abandon in a coordinated line dance at a Pirates of the Caribbean deck party. But there is simply no place for cynicism when it comes to a Disney holiday – and I defy anyone not to be charmed by the unmitigated enthusiasm that emanates from everyone and every experience on offer. You know how it’s called the happiest place on earth? Well, actually, it’s not just a tag line.

We began our adventure at The Grand Floridian Resort and Spa – Disney World Resort’s flagship hotel, which is located just a two-minute monorail ride from the Magic Kingdom. It really is worth staying on site; the wry Disney sense of fun and attention to detail that we’re all familiar with from the feature films surround you both day and night, making it a wholly immersive experience – think Mickey ears subtly integrated into the architecture, or a Mad Hatter-themed aquatic play area that will have kids squealing with delight. Yet it’s all still very elegant – the Victorian-style Grand Floridian’s red gabled roof and white walls evoke Palm Beach’s golden era, while the friendly staff, aka cast members, do their utmost to make you feel as welcome as possible.

This idea of the whole experience being a show in which every cast member – from the character actors to the ride operators and the janitors – are performers, really underlines the Disney emphasis on ‘magic’. From chocolates on your pillow, to amusing ‘towelgami’ creations (towels shaped to resemble anything from swans to sloths or, in my experience, a monkey swinging from the ceiling wearing sunglasses) in the rooms, and street-style magic tricks performed by the servers at dinner, the staff’s enthusiasm and creativity are a crucial part of the pixie dust that makes a Disney holiday so special.

And absolutely no one is prepared to break the spell – when I asked our tour guide what the deal is with the people who dress up as the characters (don’t they get hot in a Mickey Mouse suit all day? Or do they chop and change; could the morning’s Princess Elsa double up as Cinderella in the evening, for example?) he point-blank refused to understand what I meant. ‘Mickey Mouse IS Mickey Mouse. Elsa IS Elsa – they can’t be anyone else.’ OK then…

Our first two days in Orlando were spent on a whistle-stop tour of the four main Walt Disney World Resort parks, beginning with the fairytale-inspired Magic Kingdom. The minute I stepped foot on Main Street USA (the area in the entrance of the park, based on Walt Disney’s hometown of Marceline, Missouri) and heard the ragtime-style Disney tunes, honeyed memories of my old childhood holidays immediately came flooding back. It made me determined to return again when my own one-year-old little boy is a little older, to make sure he creates such happy memories himself.

But a lot has changed since I last visited a Disney park almost 20 years ago. The queues for the rides, which I remember being something of a trial for my childish attention span, are all but obliterated. Not only can everyone arrange up to three Fast Passes a day, allowing you to skip into a speedy express line on your chosen attractions, but for some rides the waiting areas have become literal playgrounds in themselves. Those in line for the newly opened Seven Dwarves Mine Train can play a computer game that helps the dwarves sort out their jewels, for example, while people queuing to go on the Dumbo the Flying Elephant carousel are given a pager and let loose in the adjacent circus-themed adventure playground – the only tedious bit must be trying to tear the kids away to go on the attraction itself when it’s your turn.

We were guided around the Magic Kingdom by one of the designers of the rides – or imagineers, as Disney would, of course, call them – who said time and time again that the overriding purpose of all they do at Disney is to immerse you in good storytelling. This is evident in all of the parks through an obsession with details. The snow that drifts outside Magic Kingdom’s Be Our Guest Castle is beautifully atmospheric, while the Kilimanjaro Safari experience in Animal Kingdom park is uncannily like the real thing, with real rhino, giraffe, cheetah and, I was told, more than 3,000 types of grass. Imagineers get to travel a lot with their jobs to achieve storytelling realism – when designing the Mission: Space simulator at Epcot, there were designers literally training to be astronauts with Nasa. And yet it’s all in the name of good old-fashioned fun – The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror ride at Disney’s Hollywood Studios had me screaming with fear and laughter in a way I haven’t since I was a teenager.

If you’re lucky enough to go on a cruise with Disney Cruise Lines, this showmanship doesn’t stop when you’re at sea. We drove straight from our stay at the Grand Floridian to Port Canaveral, for a four-night Disney cruise around the Bahamas.

It’s no surprise to learn that Disney was the first cruise line to introduce at-sea fireworks spectaculars, and the Pirates of the Caribbean party – which happens on every Disney cruise in the area – sees a very Johnny-Depp-esque Captain Jack Sparrow swinging from the ship funnels in a pirate fight that lights up the inky horizon with pyrotechnics, bursting from what are apparently fish-friendly seaweed bomb shells.

And that’s not to mention the nightly shows – Broadway-quality productions filled with singing, dancing and state-of-the-art special effects, with all the Disney musical numbers, of course. Plus there are the meet-and-greets with all the Disney characters, and free access to every Disney film ever made on the stateroom TVs – perfect for entertaining the kids, and even better for a nostalgic reminder of the Disney canon of your own childhood.

A Disney cruise might sound like it’s only for children, but the genius is that this very fact means it is ideal for adults too. There isn’t just a kids’ club on the Disney Dream ocean liner, there’s an entire deck dedicated to youngsters, and no adults are allowed. It’s a Small World nursery caters to babies from three months to three years, while the Oceaneer’s club immerses three- to 12-year-olds in the magical world of Disney storytelling, with arts and crafts classes in a pixie hollow with Tinker Bell, computer gaming in the Finding Nemo-themed Explorer Pod, and remote-controlled cars in the Toy Story-themed area.

Tweens and teens are also catered for in Edge and Vibe clubs, where they can watch TV, surf the net or sunbathe in the company of their own age group. With a babysitting service also available, this all means that parents can make the most of the adult-only pool and bar areas, the spa and health club, or even the nightclubs in the evening, for a precious slice of grown-up time.

With such a feast of activities on board – not to mention the smorgasbord of world-class cuisine in the many restaurants – you could be forgiven for seeing the actual ports of call as an after-thought. They are certainly worth a look though… Our first stop was Nassau, the largest city on Paradise Island and the capital of the Bahamas. Its colourful marketplaces are perfect for picking up handmade souvenirs, while culture vultures can investigate the pirate museum, which takes you back in time to the bloodthirsty world of cutlass-wielding real-life pirates.

The second and final stop was Castaway Cay, Disney’s own private island, which is the perfect place to while away time in a hammock, or snorkel with tropical fish in the turquoise waters. For active types, there’s a 5km fun run in the morning of embarkation day, while we rented bikes and cycled up to the highest point on the island, before returning back for a Bahamian-style barbecue.

Reluctantly packing my bags on the final night of the cruise – remarkably heavier than when I left, what with the guilt-induced presents for the son I left at home, and of course my photo with Mickey, all in tow – I couldn’t help but feel wistful in a way that only the end of a Disney experience can leave you feeling. Folding away my inner child for a while, I made sure that I packed a little pixie dust as well, to take back to my own little boy. I’m sure to return with him – although I might not ever tell him about the time I went gallivanting off on a press trip to Disney World without him. After all, storytelling is what Disney is all about.

Need to know

Park tickets A one-day ticket for Magic Kingdom costs Dh385 and to Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios and Epcot costs Dh356.

Hotel A night at The Grand Floridian costs from Dh1,930 per room per night.

Flights Emirates flies to Orlando via New York. Prices are approximately Dh5,400.

Cruise A four-night cruise around the Bahamas from Port Canaveral on the Disney Dream costs around Dh16,000 for a family of four, including all food and soft drinks. See Disneycruise.disney.go.com for more info and to learn about the just-launched Frozen-themed cruise itinerary around the Norwegian fjords.