8 Times science proved that your mother-in-law isn’t always right

When you have a baby it can seem like people are queuing up to dole out advice – whether it’s your parents or in-laws over Zoom, the sales assistant in Spinneys, or a random busy-body on social media. But while the older generation can be an invaluable source of information and knowledge when you become a parent, they aren’t necessarily qualified or aware of the most up-to-date research. Some of what was considered acceptable parenting in the 1980s and 1990s seems crazy to new parents today (remember candy cigarettes?) and much of the old-school parenting manual has since been debunked by childcare experts. Here, eight times modern science proves that your mum (or mother-in-law) doesn’t always know best…

PUT BABY TO SLEEP ON HIS FRONT: “He’d sleep so much better if he was on his tummy,” is a refrain heard time and again from the older generation, usually said to frazzled mums who would do anything for an extra bit of shuteye . But don’t be misled - while it may be true that you slept on your own stomach when you were a baby, and babies do often prefer it, there is now an abundance of evidence that shows that sleeping on the stomach is associated with a much higher risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome, aka cot death). The American Academy of Pediatrics started a campaign in 1994 warning people of the dangers of babies front-sleeping and advising that all babies are put down to sleep on their backs. Other updates on baby sleeping environments that your advice-giver may not realise are that baby cots should be free of any bumpers, loose blankets or soft toys, which have also been associated with increased SIDS risk in babies. See www.lullabytrust.org.uk for more details.

DON’T EAT ‘X’ FOOD WHILE BREASTFEEDING OR BABY WILL BE GASSY: The idea that certain foods in a nursing mother’s diet will give her baby gas is pervasive, but not founded in research. “If certain foods in mums’ diets were an overall problem for most babies, we’d expect cultures that emphasize those foods would have more gassy and fussy babies, but this does not occur at all,” says lactation consultant Kelly Bonyata, founder of Kellymom.com. While it is possible that certain foods might bother a particular baby, there is no list of foods that every breastfeeding mum should avoid – in fact, if you cut out everything that the old wives’ tales say you should, you’d barely be able to eat anything at all. Most babies are gassy from time to time, and it can be down to all manner of reasons, from eating too fast, swallowing too much air, to the simple fact that their digestive tract is tiny and may struggle to process the perfectly normal gas that we all have in our intestines until he or she gets a little bigger. It is possible for some breastfed babies to react to foods that mum eats (cow milk protein is often the culprit), but you would usually notice other symptoms in your child than just gas (such as irritated skin, rashes, and mucus-y green stool). Either way, it’s best to see a doctor before cutting out any foods.

PUT RICE CEREAL IN BABY’S BOTTLE, HE’LL SLEEP LONGER: Tempting as it may be to try this, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and many other experts advise against it. Not only has it been linked with excessive weight gain, but it is a choking hazard and aspiration risk, and may even delay your child’s ability to learn to eat from a spoon. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also point out that there’s no evidence that it would even help with sleep at all. Although infants with GERD may be advised to have a thickening agent added to their bottle in order to help reduce reflux, this is only advisable with the help of a doctor, and AAP no longer recommends rice cereal as a first food for babies as it has been found to contain arsenic (oatmeal is recommended instead when medically necessary).

GET BABY ON SOLIDS ASAP: The World Health Organisation now states that babies should ideally be exclusively breastfed for the first six months, particularly in underdeveloped countries where access to clean water is a problem. However, most of our parents’ generation were keen to get babies on solids as early as possible – with most infants in the 1970s and 1980s on solid food by the time they were four months, and many weaned at three months. But numerous studies over the last 40 years have found that later weaning is beneficial to babies, and that introducing solids too early can increase the risk of digestion problems, as well as heart problems and obesity in later life. Health experts suggest you wait until your baby can sit up and engage in the process. However, new research also shows that delaying the introduction of allergenic foods can actually increase the risk of allergies (especially if you have a history of allergies in your family), so it’s best to discuss your weaning plan with your child’s doctor.

GRIPE WATER CURES ALL: Previous generations of parents from the UK, the US and India (where it was manufactured) swore by a magical elixir known as Woodwards’ Gripe Water. Used to soothe tots of a variety of ailments from trapped wind to constipation and even colic, this magic potion was lauded as a panacea for all. However, it soon transpired that the secret to its success lay in its alcohol content, which was between 3.6 and 8 per cent; effectively inebriating babies against pain – something modern doctors understandably frown upon. Gripe Water was later reformulated without the alcohol which, unsurprisingly, didn’t put babies to sleep so soundly. While we’re on the subject: alcohol rubbed on gums, pinky fingers or in bottles is also waaay outdated and dangerous.

GET THEM OUT OF NAPPIES ASAP: You can’t really blame our parents for wanting to get potty training done early; after all, in the 1980s many babies were still wearing towel nappies, which had to be hand-washed and sterilised, so it stands to reason that babies were typically potty trained before 18 months. In some cultures potty training is traditionally done even earlier with very young infants going nappy-free while parents look for signs they need to go. But modern working parents who have access to disposable diapers (or new, high-tech cloth ones) are not in such a rush to potty train: in fact, many parents now leave toilet training until as late as three. But, no matter what grandma thinks, it’s not just laziness behind the shift: experts say the longer you wait, the swifter the process will be, while several paediatric urologists have warned about the risks of very early potty training including trauma that leads to bedwetting, constipation, urinary tract infections and an increased chance of accidents. However, as with everything, there is a balance to strike.

KIDS RIDING IN THE FRONT SEAT: Long before the modern minefield of rear-facing versus swivel and boosters and belts, previous generations had a much more relaxed approach to child car safety. Despite the obvious risks (62% of infant mortality in the UAE is caused by car accidents), until recently, it wasn’t unusual to see young children sitting in the front seat of a car or perched on parents’ knees, often without belts. Thankfully the new UAE seat belt law has made buckling up mandatory for all passengers and children, and UAE traffic law prohibits children under 10 from sitting in the front. While the recent amendments to the UAE traffic law require that all children aged four and under must use a car safety seat, the stringent guidelines of the EU state that babies, toddlers and children must use a car seat or booster cushion until they’re 12 years old or 135cm tall.

LEAVING KIDS TO THEIR OWN DEVICES: It’s a common refrain of the older generation that parents today are too overprotective. After all, most Gen-Xers were allowed to play outside unsupervised, eat refined sugar and babysit as young as 11. There were no mobile phones to track a child’s whereabouts, kids were left alone in the car while mum popped into the shop and no-one gave a second’s thought about little ones watching PG movies. But these same kids were also smacked, allowed to cycle without helmets and often got sunburnt. The take away for gran: there is nothing wrong with giving kids a little freedom, but they don’t have to endure physical injury to learn a life lesson.