Deadly sin is deadly no more

It's all because of epicatechin. Women have known this for eons. Anybody out there not know what epicatechin is? Well, maybe we women may not exactly know it by that particular name, but ask any sane woman what she really likes about Valentine's Day and you could have saved science a bit of effort.

Scientists have discovered, after no doubt several precious man-hours, that the chemical epicatechin in cocoa is responsible for increased blood flow and numerous other cardiovascular health benefits. It took them dedicated scientific study to tell you that chocolate is good for you.

Most girls I know were born with this knowledge. Those pretty lashes widen not for the red valentine cards or the red roses. And certainly not for the ridiculous teddy bears. (Whoever came up with a teddy bear as a serious adult expression of romance? Probably a toy cartel conspiracy to elbow in on one of the most commercialised calendar events of the year.)

No sir. Close scrutiny will reveal eyes lighting up and skin flushing at the sight of a box of gleaming Godiva magic.

Turned on by chocolate

If any woman maintains she does not get even a teensy bit turned on by chocolate she lies. Whether it's dark bitter chocolate, a clear personal favourite, or caramel stuffed creations, wafer-filled or the nutty kind, there is a chocolate out there for every woman.

All the scientists had to do was strike up a conversation with the nearest woman in their vicinity (always a challenging prospect) and steer the talk towards chocolate. People are taken to a whole different level of existence just talking about chocolate.

They drool, they ooh, they aah, they squirm, they bend, they roll their eyes heavenward, they close their eyes and pucker up in ecstasy and they may even do things they would otherwise not dared to in exchange for one of cocoa's most beloved products.

In boarding school, where we were in a permanent state of hunger due to raging hormones, bad canteen food or a combination of both, chocolates were like gold. Actually, toilet paper was like gold but that's a nasty story. Some of the inmates were driven to theft to satisfy their lust.

Somehow, someone would find out who received a bulging parcel from home. News would then travel along the grapevine and strategies were hatched. Chocolates were prized loot and were rationed in squares of the smallest possible magnitude.

Currently the fad at parties and weddings among the country's jet set is a must-have chocolate fountain. Fresh fruit, marshmallows and other wicked delights skirt the cascade of melted chocolate and guests are invited to create their own choc-oction. Not that they need much of an invite.

Getting to the fountain brings new meaning to the phrase "survival of the fittest". Apparently, even the so-called intelligentsia indulge in free-for-alls for a good cause.

Latest gimmick

Not to be left behind, Bollywood has teamed up with a frequently manically advertised soap company to lure viewers with its latest gimmick. An already delectable Kareena Kapoor poses seductively wearing nothing but strategically-positioned melted chocolate.

The connection between chocolate and smooth skin remains fuzzy, but we may just have to wait for some more dedicated scientific research to figure that one out. While the men in white coats lick their lips in anticipation, I need to find my way to the refrigerator. Somewhere it its dark recesses nestles my daily dose of epicatechin.

The writer is a hopelessly addicted chocoholic beyond any medical help.