Happiness is...

The first thought that comes to mind when you meet Rikke Ebel Nielsen is that she looks very happy. When she smiles, which is often, her eyes light up and her face gives off a glow that is expansive enough to reach you and effortlessly make you reciprocate a sense of well-being.

As your conversation with her changes gear and accelerates you realise that she is entirely suited to the business of coaching people on how to be happy. A mother of three – Oscar, 8, Josephine, 7 and Louise, 2-1/2, – Nielsen, who was an electronics engineer with an IT company in Denmark for 13 years, moved to Dubai with her husband Erik a few years ago. (She subsequently moved away from her previous field and took up happiness consulting but more on that later.) Keen to know why and how she made the transition, I decide to invite her for a luncheon interview at Le Royal Meridien's fine dining Italian restaurant, Ossigeno.

She is intrigued by my curiosity and promptly accepts the invitation: "A part of being happy is to take care of the body and the mind, and one way to do that is by eating well and enjoying the moment,'' she says, as we happily sit down to enjoy a meal at the restaurant.

Ossigeno, which in Italian means Oxygen, is truly a breath of fresh air in the fine dining world of Dubai. The decor is elegant, while the bold pieces of modern art lend themselves to reflective thought.

The menu is intelligent and capable of meeting the demands of the most picky. Not surprising then to see the place rich with people even on a weekday. We are welcomed with a cool aperitif and Amuse bouche (lentil soup with finely chopped celery, carrots, morel mushrooms and vegetable stock) accompanied by olive and garlic oil, bruschetta, diced tomato and chopped fresh basil.
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Nielsen regards herself as a bit of a rebel – after all she did give up a perfectly comprehensible career to take up something which is bound to raise eyebrows. Can you really teach people to be happy? Or at least guide them to recognise happiness in its natural form? What made her give up a career in engineering? "I had a good job, a lovely husband, nice family and yet I felt I wasn't fulfilled. I realised that my goal in life was being happy. "When I moved to Dubai, my husband was launching his own business. Suddenly I saw myself in a completely different world where
I had the opportunity to do what I wanted to.''

So with her IT background and the courses she had taken in college, she enlisted the support of professor Leif B. Sorensen (who was her teacher in college) to build a process for a course on happiness. Her sister and confidante Mette also moved to Dubai and together they launched the Happiness workshops. "The great thing about working with happiness is that I get to be happy myself," she says.

Her course, which has three modules, is "guaranteed'' to help individuals find various means of being happy.
The first module is basic and is called Road to Happiness. It helps you look deep into yourself. "It is about self-knowledge and self-explanations and learning to like yourself and know yourself.

"You have to confront your troubles and discard the skeletons in the cupboard. Those who complete this exercise
are able to face their failures and inadequacies. I then include a 'forgiveness exercise' that helps people let go of negative, stored feelings," she says.

As we talk of offloading negative energies, the starters arrive. Buffalo mozzarella salad for her and a minestrone soup for me. We observe a brief silence to fully savour our respective dishes. My soup is hearty, fresh and delicious. The glistening bright red tomato and moon-white cheese on Nielsen's plate look like they are only capable of being good.

We move on to discussing the second stage of the happiness module."Module II,'' says Nielsen between bites of the salad, "is about being happy. Happiness is something that spreads like a ripple in a pool. My favourite process is enjoying the moment. Things happened yesterday, things will happen tomorrow, but the time to be happy is right now. Actually my favourite task in my process is called 'enjoy the moment'.

The past is gone, the future is unknown... so enjoy the right now. I am lucky to be invited out to eat lovely food in a nice restaurant and talk about what I am passionate about – this is truly a happy moment for me, and hopefully the reader who is reading this article will connect to how simply happiness can be experienced." The prelude to such simple enjoyment and acceptance is to "take a deep breath, relax your shoulders, put a smile on your lips and enjoy this moment". But is it so simple?

I decide to live out her philosophy.
I ease myself into the chair a little more, smile wider and absorb the ambience. At this moment, I tell myself, there are no pressures, no problems. The food is wonderful and I am sitting with a very, very charming lady who has plenty to
impart on one of life's most precious elements. What's not to be happy about?

As if on cue, the main course arrives. I have chosen penne arrabiata with freshly chopped tomatoes, garlic, onions, cherry tomatoes, chilli flakes, olive oil, salt and pepper.

Nielsen has opted for her favourite ingredient – freshwater fish. The fish looks swap-worthy. It is a John Dory fillet served with mashed potato, baby spinach and a creamy lemon sauce. We spend the next 10 minutes in a companionable silence enjoying the food.

Soon we move on to discuss the third module in her happiness programme. "This is called 'happiness advance'. We help people find out what their passion is, help them conquer the fear of death, teach them [a bit of] philosophy and meditation techniques and draw them to the art of loving pleasure. Eating is related to the kind of happiness I would call pleasure which is wonderful and fulfilling in the right doses," she says. She recalls the rustic farmer's meals of her childhood – staple Danish fare.

One of her favourites was black bread. Made of rye, the bread is very coarse, very hard to eat, but extremely healthy. "When we were kids, we were very fond of salty liquorice called Piratos which in large portions wasn't recommended for kids as it contained ammonia, but it was our favourite. "I think food creates definite happy memories. So let's enjoy the pleasure of indulging in well-prepared food made from fresh ingredients.

Food that is healthy usually leaves a greater feeling of contentment that lingers for a longer period than unhealthy fast food," she says. Nielsen believes that food is a metaphor for happiness – it gives people a time for togetherness, sharing and the knowledge that the person who has cooked for you deeply cares for you.

She recalls Christmas dinners when her family used to come together for a deeply satisfying festival lunch. "When a Dane is describing Christmas, it is always about food. Food plays a very important part in our lives. During Christmas, we would have roast duck and traditional Danish rice porridge that would contain a single almond. The lucky person who got the almond would get a gift.''

Even as we talk about sweet things, dessert is served. Soft, silky tiramisu with pistachio, vanilla sauce and chocolate shavings. A definite high note in our happiness discussion.

As we come to the end of the meal, Nielsen points out that research has shown that it is possible to re-programme the brain and, through that, one's life. "It [the brain] can adapt easily to change. We can re-programme ourselves to be happy." After such a lovely meal, it is hard to doubt that.

– Suchitra Bajpai Chaudhary is Senior Feature Writer, Friday
For more info on happiness courses visit www.ebelsignature.com