Gallop to success with the horse whisperer

Stable girls chatter and giggle on the step of the tack room while a granddad goes by leading his toddler grandson on a small dappled grey pony. In the next arena, a dressage contestant carefully goes through her paces in preparation for a competition at the weekend.

As she dismounts and leads her horse to the stables, she passes an unlikely duo. The woman is in her thirties, fashionably dressed in skinny jeans, a checked shirt and knee-boots. Exuding confidence, she leads a placid chestnut horse to the outdoor sandy arena.

A few yards to the side, a man in his mid 40s follows. He admits he's never had much to do with animals, let alone horses, and in his impeccable chinos and pale shirt, he looks as if he'd feel more at home on the golf course than the racecourse. The woman reassures him that 80 per cent of her clients aren't from ‘horsey' backgrounds. Some have never even stroked a horse, let alone held its head collar and walked it round an arena.

The man's here for a session of equine therapy with life coach Becki Houlston. While life coaches have been around for decades, Becki specialises in communication and works with horses to get to the root of problems, whether they're business, home, health, wealth or relationship related.

She has already done some telephone coaching with this man and worked with him for two hours in the classroom. There, the pair went through every area of his life with a fine tooth comb and decided the areas that need some work are his business - he has more than 100 staff, most of whom are applying for new jobs - and his 18-year marriage.

Minutes later, it looks like he'll have no energy left for either - he's chasing the mare around the arena, waving his arms to attract her attention. But every time his arms go up she throws her head and canters defiantly in the opposite direction. He then turns on his heel and chases her Tom and Jerry-style around the arena, desperate to corner her but getting nowhere near, perspiration dripping from his forehead. He's getting angrier by the minute, frustrated at not being able to control this horse and he bemoans the fact that he's usually good at everything he does.

An hour later, he's close to tears as he realises what a control freak he has become, not just at work but also in his home. Once he lets go of the need for control, the horse ambles by his side as if he's her soulmate.

After a debrief session with Becki, the man leaves, wide-eyed with self-discovery and vows to give his staff more credit for their ideas and to trust his wife and children more, instead of constantly trying to catch them out with constant questioning. Weeks later, she hears from him - his staff are happier, his business has had a brilliant month and he's going on a much-needed holiday with his wife.

"There's a saying that dogs look up to you, cats look down on you and horses look into you and I think that's true," says Becki. "Horses recognise a wide range of emotions such as fear, frustration, shame and pain. There's no way you can fool a horse. They don't miss a trick. The horse knew this guy was a controller and she didn't want to be controlled. She knew what this man was thinking before even he knew he'd thought it!"

Becki has used equine therapy on a whole range of clients - writers who fear they'll never write another word, self-employed people hit by the recession, mothers exasperated by their teenage children, injured athletes desperate to get back into their game, financial wizards who made some bad decisions and managers who don't know why their staff are unhappy.

"Usually people's problems aren't what they think they are," she adds. "Some people come to me and say they're unhappy with their relationship but when we peel away the layers, we find that they're playing small in a career that suited them 20 years ago but isn't right for them now and they're taking their feelings of failure home to their marriage.

"They're unhappy and underachieving at work but they're battling on and refusing to give in. These people end up chasing the horse round and round, getting more and more frustrated. Others give up very easily and expect me to do the work for them. Some just don't trust the horse, while others don't trust themselves to do any of the tasks," she says.

"But at the end of the day the problems are about low confidence, low motivation, low self-esteem, depression or stress and they realise this when the horses mirror their feelings by shying away from them or walking lethargically. People with eating disorders find the horse is obsessed with the one blade of grass in an arena. If clients are anxious, the horse becomes jittery, but once I show them deep breathing, the horse follows suit and calms down," Becki explains.

"Because people often focus on what's wrong in their lives, they often miss positive things about themselves," she continues, "and the horses can reinforce what's good about us. Clients often go home, having had a major boost to their esteem. Once they're aware of the way they operate and think, they can make some major changes."

What is equine therapy?

Horse whisperers such as Becki spend years studying the horse and its behaviour
in natural surroundings and learn to read their incredibly powerful body language,  whether it’s the flick of a tail, stamp of a foot, an ear movement, rolling eyes or even
rearing. Then these movements are interpreted.

Horses have long been used to help children with autism, attention deficit disorder and disabilities.

Visit www.beckihoulston.com

Case study: 'Horses taught me to say no'

Journalist Christine Fieldhouse tries equine therapy with surprising results.

"I was terrified to try equine therapy, At 160cm tall, the horses were huge compared to me. I'd ridden as a child and even had my own pony called Prince but that was 30 years ago.

I was sceptical too. Could a horse really read my mind? What would they reveal about me, that I, with my middle-aged blinkers on, had failed to see?

My first task was to observe two horses, Dotty, a chestnut mare, and Happy Fellow, a gelding, and choose which one to work with, or as Becki put it - "which horse had something to teach me". Happy Fellow mirrored the way I behave with my family and friends, a bit of a pushover.

I wanted to be pro-active, confident and assertive like Dotty!

So I tried to connect with her, patting her from an arm's length. It soon became clear that this mare felt very short-changed. So I patted, stroked and cuddled Dotty and she followed me for a few paces. But then I threw in a figure of eight and Dotty wandered off to see Becki, leaving me with a stab of envy. Grabbing her collar didn't work. Neither did ordering her about. Yet when it started to rain, and I showed my caring, maternal self, she happily followed me to shelter.

Next, I had to get Dotty to follow me about 20 paces into a square. It represented what I wanted to achieve - self belief and confidence and I figured if I cracked those, everything else would fall into place.

Remembering how much I loved my childhood pony Prince, I looked into Dotty's eyes, imagining she was Prince and all that childish love came flooding back. As if by magic, she followed me. Afterwards, Becki said I showed enormous courage and determination. Yet I realised I miss some of the amazing things I do because I always focus on ticking things off a list, rather than enjoying the journey. I give myself a hard time. But when my mindset was positive, anything was possible.

Since then I've felt empowered, with a desire to treat myself well. I've relearnt the word "no". I no longer go out of my way to people-please. Dotty certainly removed my blinkers and showed me a new way forward."

Christine Fieldhouse is a North Yorkshire-based freelancer