Communication Gaps

Have you, like me, wondered from time to time if you are communicating properly? As a person who has been in the wordsmith business for longer than I can remember, I have often wondered, after a conversation with a colleague or a family member if the message I was trying to convey had actually hit the mark.

One serious scientifically validated skills test later, I've realised, to my chagrin, that quite often while I was concentrating on transmitting my verbally encoded message and doing it right I did not pay any attention to the decoding of my message by the other party.

Now why is that important? Well, communication has consistently been defined as "transmitting and receiving information"; that is all right if the party you are talking to is a stranger and has no previous relationship with you.

However, if the communication is inter-personal, then it is conversation between people who have known each other for some time and it does not matter if that relationship is personal or professional.

Does one ever really know where one stands with different people on an every day basis? What kind of mood are they in? Is their head full of different internal conversations? Did they have a fight with their spouse this morning? Or simply, they don't like you.

Reminds me of my own growing children who said, "Yes Mum" every time, but never got the message or when I talk to my better half I get, "Yes, darling".

More importantly, every time I've asked my previous bosses for a raise they suffered a bout of deafness leaving me wondering if I was not really speaking English. Was there trouble with my accent? Was I not convincing enough?

Well, the test (www.queendom.com) has indicated that although I am highly insightful in interpreting other people's words and actions and seeing things from their perspective, I will need time and experience to improve my insight into how my messages are received.

I say the other party should make an effort to practise the art of listening but that too could fall on deaf ears.