What is the one office jargon that doesn’t make sense to you?

Give me a break

One of the most ridiculous terms I have heard - yes, I really did, during an official meeting in the US some time ago – was ‘Let’s take a bio-break’. It took a while for me to realise that what the speaker meant was ‘Let’s take a loo break’. I often wonder who comes up with these silly terms! Angeline A

Going in circles

‘Let’s circle back to that’ and ‘There’s no ‘I’ in team’ are two pieces of office jargon I just can’t seem to comprehend. I often find myself picturing people running around in an actual circle instead of getting back to me on it. And yes, there is no letter ‘I’ in the word Team. Even though the phrase has meaning, the words don’t correspond usually leaving me thinking more about the actual lettering than the connotation behind it. Sarah Ronad

Duck that

The first image that came to mind when my manager mentioned that ‘We should get all our ducks in a row’ was of those cute yellow rubber ducks made so popular by all those viral videos. For a moment, I imagined having a bucketful of those duckies and lining them up neatly on a wall or a window ledge. Apparently the meaning of the term is to be prepared for something that is about to happen. But why ducks? Arshad Ali

Closed door

The open-door policy is the biggest lie in a senior-subordinate relationship. The open door policy means that your boss is open to your suggestions, ideas and feedback. But in reality there is no such thing. Why? Because the boss is always right, most often than not he/she tells us what to do and our job is to simply get it done, no questions asked, if you muster up the strength to pose a question or a suggestion, it’s usually treated with a “that’s not relevant” or “we shall see”. In my opinion the open door policy is a total farce. Qashish Dhiraj Mehta

Raise the flag

I must say there were quite a few raised eyebrows in the meeting room a couple of months ago when, during a brainstorming session in office, the manager suggested ‘running one of the ideas up the flagpole’. I’m sure he had only recently picked up that term because he seemed quite chuffed that many of those present in the meeting room appeared surprised. I, though, felt it would have made more sense to just say ‘Let’s test the idea’s popularity’. Neetha Rajesh

Mechanical

One of the most annoying office jargon I have come across is Bandwidth. Just in case you are wondering what it is, it’s a term that denotes the time or capacity to perform a certain task. So a team leader might ask: ‘Do you have the bandwidth today to take on a pending project?’ I find it annoying when such terms are used that reduce a human being to an automated faceless machine. Rishi Menon

Borrowed lines

I am often annoyed when I find that normal, easy-to-understand language is hijacked by people who pretend to be know-it-alls and use nonsensical terms particularly related to the office space. I can list several but one of the most annoying terms is ‘Can I borrow you for a second?’ Do you think that I am some kind of an object? Really? Abhijeet S

Thought bubble

Some time ago I was in a meeting with our international team in the US about devising new sales strategies when a team leader suggested we take a ‘Thought shower’. For a moment I was gobsmacked, until a colleague sitting next to me whispered that what he meant was that all members of the team offer ideas spontaneously. Wouldn’t it have been a lot easier if he just said that in plainspeak? But then I guess some of those in the room did seem to be impressed with the term. I must admit though, I haven’t heard that term being used again. Annie Abraham