Love to hate her

Sometimes I wonder if present-day society is missing an 11th Commandment: "Woman, thou shalt be judged!" Recently, there were three high-profile examples. First, Madonna, who appeared on stage in tiny shorts, displaying her allegedly withered and hideous (though actually toned and fit) buttocks. Next, Victoria Beckham, widely ridiculed for describing herself as the "average woman". Finally, Rihanna, who was accused of bleaching her skin. So here was a mixed bag of world-famous womanhood: past-it pop mutton, deluded skeletal hag and self-hating black woman? "J'accuse!" went the cry, when, in fact, all three of these women are probably owed an apology.

First, Madonna, and the outfit she was wearing on stage — the operative words being "on stage". Madonna is a performer. When she performs, she wears things called (wait for it) stage costumes. Believe an old NME hack when I reveal this: When international pop stars plan world tours, they rarely muse, "How can I tone this down and ensure nobody sees me from the back of the arena?" People attending Madonna's shows would probably be disappointed if she appeared wearing age-appropriate Hobbs slacks and a tasteful cashmere V-neck. I'm saying all this because the way Madonna was criticised, you'd think that she'd worn the offending garment with her fishnet-clad derriere hanging out to walk the dog, or attend a school parent's evening. She hadn't. Unfortunately.

As for Victoria Beckham, she never actually described herself as "average" — her main point was that it felt wrong to use "6-foot-whatever 17-year-old models" to promote her expensive clothing line when she could represent her brand better herself. At no point does Beckham claim that her extreme wealth or thinness are average. Her assertion ("I represent the general public here") might have been badly articulated, but was clearly a self-deprecating reference to being a thirtysomething wife and mother, and not the "6-foot-whatever 17-year-old". Notions of the "general public" also need to be put into context — she was giving the interview to Harper's Bazaar, not Take a Break. All things considered, Beckham was attempting, in an admittedly muddled way, to make a rather positive statement. Result: She was abused and ridiculed.

Finally, Rihanna. This was a different scenario to those creepy promotional campaigns where black stars appear on billboards and in magazine spreads looking whiter than I am. The judgment on Rihanna was based on her just walking around, living her life, looking "lighter". Do people not realise that, just as white skin tans, black skins also grow darker when exposed to the sun, and vice versa?

With this in mind, attacking Rihanna for looking lighter is as illogical as accusing a slightly paler-than-usual Katy Perry of bleaching her skin. The condemnation of Rihanna verges on the quasi-racist, or at least the very dumb. Could it be that when some people say "women of colour", they actually mean "better make that just one colour", because anything else confuses the unimaginative white brain?

Some might say that there are plenty of other women out there who deserve our attention and sympathy more than this gilded trio. However, it might be telling to have three such high-profile women judged in three wholly different ways — from overt ageism (Madonna), to quasi-racism (Rihanna), to, for Posh, the age-old tactic of: "Take comments out of context and attack!"

All of this, churning and gurgling in the giant cement mixer that is casual misogyny, with all three examples occurring in just one week.

Indeed, where "woman, thou shalt be judged!" is concerned, maybe it wasn't entirely accurate for me to say that we are missing the 11th Commandment.

Maybe for some people, this commandment would be the first.

— Guardian News & Media Ltd