Talking Relationships: 'Together, we are a world'

Laila Merchant, theatreperson, and her husband Aziz, strategy consultant, speak to Sonali Raha

Aziz Merchant, 32, is business strategy consultant for the Chalhoub Group involved in internationally renowned luxury brands. He looks after the three-year strategy planning process of all the business units under the group's umbrella.

He has a degree in electronic engineering from Mumbai University and an MBA in marketing from South Hampton University in the UK.

Laila Merchant, 29, is the managing director of Rangmanch, a theatre management and theatre events initiative based in Knowledge Village, Dubai. A dentist by qualification from Mumbai University, she is involved deeply in her work, her community - Ismaili - and her home. They've been married for four and a half years and have an eight-month-old son, Zayaan.

Laila Merchant: Aziz and I are from the same college but different departments. We didn't meet even once during college because our campuses were separate. In any case, when I had entered college he was about to leave, having finished his engineering.

But I had heard about him from my brother who is a close friend of his. One day my brother sent me to Aziz to get as much information as he could give me about an MBA programme. My brother was interested in the degree and Aziz was about to leave for England to take his MBA.

I really liked Aziz, even during our short meeting. He was very nice, very genuine. We discovered we both liked pretty much the same things. We both liked meeting people, eating out, watching movies.

But he was about to leave for England. So I had to do something drastic immediately. About a week after I met him I proposed. I told him "I like you. I'd like to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?"

I'm the kind of person who's not scared of hearing a no from people. After two days, he said, "It's too early. I have to take my MBA, get a job. Give me time."

A week later he said he'd like to get to know me more, but without the commitment of marriage.

For the next year, he was in England and I was in Mumbai. We talked every day on the telephone and wrote to each other every three days.We got to know each other really well. Then he was sent by his university to do cross-cultural research in Dubai. I flew down with my parents and sister to Dubai for four days.

We met again and decided yes, we'd get married. We liked Dubai as well and decided we'd settle here.

Ever since we've been very happy. We're similar and yet different. We're both very organised, but he's much more emotional than me. I get dispirited very quickly, but he always pushes me to do more and pursue my dream. Because of him I am where I am. He's also an amazing father and spends a lot of time with our child.

Together, we are a world.

Aziz Merchant: We knew of each other for a long time, but had not met. One thing I did know - we were different in many ways. I always believe the essence of any relationship is synergy. The success of a relationship depends on how much you value each other's emotional and mental differences; how you respect and appreciate these differences and build on them to create a complete whole.

From the very beginning I was attracted by Laila's humility and her openness and the fact that there was no malice whatsoever in her. She was kind, giving, generous and gentle. Never manipulative.

Yes, she did propose to me. For us, that year of being in two separate countries was an acid test. In the end, we knew our relationship was based on a strong foundation, not just infatuation.

It was in Dubai that we really met and spent time as a couple. I realised she had become my inspiration. I would actually do better in my tutorials just so I could call her up and tell her about my good grades. Four and a half years later, she remains my inspiration.

Yes, we are different as people. But that actually means when we interact with our hearts and our minds we are creating a very rich resource. We give each other total space. We recognise each other's work pressures and moods and give each other the right to deal with it in our own ways.

At the same time, we are always able to talk to each other about everything. As a mother too Laila is very caring. She has amazed me by her ability to manage her priorities. She is wonderfully patient with our son…

Our relationship is expressive, intelligent and emotional. It's more than I could have hoped for.