Price rise gives expat Arab wives jitters

Dubai: The spiralling cost of living is giving jitters to expatriate Arab housewives who may have to go home leaving their husbands here.

Housewives from low income expatriate Arab families expressed fears that their husbands will take second wives after sending them home as rent and school fees continue to rise.

Umm Ahmad, a 34-year-old Egyptian woman, told Gulf News she feared having to share her husband with a second wife after being sent back to Egypt with her children as her husband can no longer afford to keep them in Dubai.

Temporary marriage

"It's very common here. Men who are used to having a wife for companionship and household chores cannot do without them. They need a woman with them all the time," she said, adding that she knew of many women who had suffered the same fate, and expected the same for herself.

Women who spoke to Gulf News said men find it more "feasible" to take a second wife who they don't intend to have children with, than support a whole family here.

"I know of one Egyptian man who married a hairdresser and moved into her apartment. She has a job too, so he doesn't have many expenses and has no dependants here," said Umm Ahmad.

Her husband Fat'hi told Gulf News he was planning to send his family home but said he did not plan to marry again. "Of course it's hard to live without a wife, but I plan to move into another apartment with other bachelors to save on rent and utilities," said the 50-year-old.

The Egyptian consul general in Dubai, Ebrahim Hafez, said although it was common for Egyptian expatriates to send their families home and remarry, it was not a "phenomenon" in the 200,000 strong Egyptian community in the UAE.

"The impression I have is that [such cases do] exist. That's what I hear but I don't think it is widespread," he said.

Having lived in Dubai for 32 years, the General Manager of the Egyptian Club, Ebrahim Noor, said such cases were "not a trend" but that "they do happen".

Short-lived

"The problem is that we don't know much about it because it's a sensitive subject which not a lot of people talk about," he said. "We heard of such cases before, when men would take second wives after sending their families back, without the intention of staying with them for too long," he added.

Umm Jasem, a mother of nine, said her Yemeni neighbour was sent back to her country after living in the UAE "for decades" when her husband realised he could no longer afford to support a family here.

The husband, she said, remarried after sending his family back to Yemen and became so accustomed to his new lifestyle "that he neglected his old family".

"Her family completely disintegrated when the father sent them away. The mother had to struggle to bring up the abandoned children," she said.

Have your say
Do you know of families that have been separated because of the cost of living? How have they coped? Tell us at letter2editor@gulfnews.com or fill in the form below to send your comments.

I was in Dubai and nine months ago I shifted with my family to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia where one can really save and bring up their children without any adverse alien foreign influence on one's culture.
Saleh
Dubai,UAE

I think this is common in all communities, even Pakistani men prefer their families back home. I have seen so many cases where the guy sends his family back home to save some cash. Then after some time when depression or loneliness gets to him, he finds himself an independent girlfriend whom he can live with but no commitments...
Rz
Dubai,UAE

I know a lot of Iranian families that have completely disintegrated when the father sent them away or the father left them here went to work in Iran. The mother had to struggle to bring up the abandoned children.
Azad
Dubai,UAE

I am a banker and I regret seeing hordes of families leaving the country for far greener pastures. Regrettably, Dubai has become too money minded and materialistic...
Baha
Dubai,Dubai

Yes, it is very true the spiralling cost has divided many of the families. I feel there should be a stop to the rising prices. If only the house rent come down, people will stay peacefully and of course there wouldn't be rapes, kidnapping, robberies etc....
Usha
Dubai,UAE

Maybe the answer is not to have so many children and for the women to get a job to help meet household expenses. Or they all return to Egypt as a family! Ever thought that maybe some of these husbands really are just using it as an excuse to change their lifestyle. Midlife crisis??I don't think this is really a major issue - just common sense. Families are expensive and that needs to be considered before having children. Living away from your home country is also expensive. It is not Dubai's problem if these families have come here and then have to leave because they find it too expensive. That is just part of life. Because of the arrangement of living in Sharjah and Ajman and working in Dubai, employers have got away with paying this section of the population less. This pattern needs to be broken because it is bad for the economy of the UAE.
Jehan
Dubai,UAE

This goes not only for Egyptian or Arab community but to all the men of various nationalities. Even those for whom marrying for the second time is strictly forbidden in the constitution of their home country. There is a huge possibility of its occurrence because it's one of the things that keep them from being depressed.
Abbie
Abu Dhabi,UAE

It is wrong to employ a married person with dependants and pay him negligible salary. So the employee has to leave his family in his country. This can lead to families disintegrating. Unfortunately, the salaries in the UAE are way below international standards but the expenses are way above the international standards, especially in Dubai.
Mansouri
Dubai,UAE