Giant Dubai family who all live together

Dubai: With seven children, 17 grandchildren and a rock solid family tailoring business in Dubai that he runs with an iron hand, Pitambar Nagji Parmar, 81, is nothing short of a modern day patriarch. His three sons, three daughters-in-law and their children all live together in Dubai. His oldest grandchild is 33 while the youngest is only seven years old.

After 23 years of living together under one roof in Bur Dubai, the Parmars decided to move to the Green Community and live in three adjacent villas as there were additions to the family. However, to this day, theirs is pretty much a joint family as Pitambar and his sons — Bharat, Dharmendra and Prakash — all are board members in their much celebrated tailoring business that now has three branches in Dubai and is going strong on expansion.

This month Parmar and his 77-year-old wife, Vijaya, celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary surrounded by members of their large extended family. Sixteen years ago, Gulf News had featured them as one of the few families upholding the classic joint family tradition and, as we revisited them last week, we realised to this day the Parmar clan believes that the family that lives together sticks together through thick and thin and emerges stronger.

Pitamber, who was orphaned at the age of five, is from the Junagadh district of Gujarat and had to migrate to Mumbai at the age of then where he was taught the nuances of tailoring by his older brother, older than him by 20 years. He worked in his brother’s shop until he was 20 and came to Dubai soon after his marriage at the age of 23. “In Mumbai houses were cramped and I always had dreams to nurture a large and loving family. When I heard of Dubai, I decided to come here with the help of some friends in 1956 and set up a modest tailoring shop in Bastakiya district.”

Such is the passion and dedication of the man that continues to this day. “From a staff of two, today we have three shops and a staff of 130. I have learnt that there is no substitute for hard work and I wish to pass this on to my future generations,” he says.

But the Parmar family does not just believe that nobility and goodness will help them get by in business. Although the three sons have great respect for their father and are obedient, they enlisted the help of a management company to streamline their business professionally.

Thanks to that, the family formed an executive board with Parmar senior heading it as chairman and the three sons forming the executive board committee. They follow good professional advice in preparing the younger scions of the family. The family follows a simple tradition where the boys of the family move to boarding schools after the age of ten and continue there until they are about 14 or 15 years of age.

They return home to continue their schooling to get enough time to experience the love and togetherness before they complete 12th grade and move to hostels again for undergraduate studies.

“That is to help them learn the virtues of discipline and focus or else there is a fear of them taking wealth and comforts for granted. We want them to have a normal upbringing where they can play, study and understand team dynamics. It will help them be stronger individuals later,” says Prakash.

“We have our fights, we argue, we agree to disagree but, in the end, all of us acknowledge the wisdom and experience of our father and we know for sure that in the larger picture it makes so much sense to be together,” says the youngest son, Prakash, 41.

“Although our family now has three adjacent homes, we have at least one family meal together in a fortnight, celebrate all our festivals together and the kids bond with their cousins,” says Janice, the youngest daughter-in-law and wife of Prakash. “All three of us are from Surat in India. In fact, my older sisters-in-law, Reshma and Jigna, are real sisters from the same family, so the synergy between us is really good. In fact, those two have started their own tailoring shop for women in Jumeirah Lakes Towers. We all belong to large families ourselves and understand the strengths of living together. Sometimes, even our children bond better with their aunts and uncles and prefer going for advice to them instead of their own parents.”

All the brothers feel that having grown up together where one had to put the interests of others before oneself has taught them to be better human beings. “At work when I am put in a multicultural team I am able to work well as a team member because I feel I am emotionally quite stable with the experience of a joint family and am able to easily include their perspectives without any kind of clash,” says Dharmendra.

“Our children, too, never have a problem of ‘fitting in’ as they have better social skills than their peers, dealing with so many family members every day. As children we were taught to share everything at home, we would sleep on the couch in the living room when the place shrunk as members grew and we were always happy to accommodate. Our children have grown up seeing that. Somehow the experience at home helps them see the larger picture easily,” says Bharat.

The members of the Parmar family may have their differences but everyone one of them realises that what they have is very rare and they are determined to keep the fabric of their family together no matter what.