How to be happy this 2022: Know these 15 simple points

MASTER WHAT YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER: Uncertainty is the most certain thing in life. Some people describe the last two tumultuous years as an extended nightmare. The waves of infections and lockdowns and the altered lives show one reality that cannot be denied: we have little control over how the world would turn out. What we do have within our means is the power to make small changes in our lives in order to be happy and healthy. Many do see blessings through the wall of uncertainty. Studies on happiness, a relatively new realm in science, shows that research on what is right with us humans — rather than what is wrong — have given fresh insights into what constitutes "well-being". For author Sonja Lyubomirsky, the Chinese proverb says it all. She suggests that this can be used as guide for people on how to find lasting happiness, more specifically, how to become — and remain — a happier person.

KNOW THAT HELPING OTHERS WORKS IN OUR FAVOUR: In her book “The How of Happiness”, Lyubomirsky charts the neural pathways explaining why we actually help ourselves when we help others. “The first two things (sleeping, fishing) are just momentary pleasures — there’s no way they can make you happy forever. Getting married (No. 3) and inheriting a fortune (No. 4) are major circumstantial changes in life, yet those people tend to adapt to those changes to over time — after yet get used to this new level of happiness, or a new level of wealth, and then you find yourself wanting more. Wanting more is just human nature.

KNOW YOUR SIGNATURE STRENGTHS: Edward Diener, aka "Mr. Happiness", is a US psychology professor and author. In the past three decades his research has played a defining role in the science of happiness. He coined the term “subjective well-being.” He suggests that a life of meaning happens when you "know your signature strengths, and use them in the service of something larger than you."

MAKE GOOD HABITS PERMANENT: If you really want to be happier or have an improved lifestyle, the changes you make need to become habits. Not all of them have to be big adjustments, either. If you turn a small lifestyle change into a habit, you could see a HUGE difference.”

BE GRATEFUL: The Oxford dictionary definition of happiness is "a state of well-being and contentment." In today's fast-paced world, we seem to have lost sight of what this really means. Be grateful for the things that you have. For the lessons of life that made you stronger, more resilient. For your life, for the air that you breathe. Be content with where you're at in life. A "meta-analysis done” at Stanford in 2005 showed the role genetics plays in depression. Another team, led by psychotherapist Susan Zinn of Susan Zinn Therapy based in California, states that genes make up 40% of your ability to be happy. But that doesn't mean that if you weren't born with certain genes, you're destined to be unhappy. And though this is high percentage — it’s not as high as we sometimes think. Gratefulness leads to happiness. Being grateful means counting your blessings, instead of the things you’re lacking, and valuing relationships more than things.

LIVE THE GOOD LIFE: Spend time with people you love, family and friends (even if online, for now, or at least until we’re sure everyone is safe enough and all the pandemic protocols are lifted). Martin Seligman, a leading researcher in the field of Positive Psychology, suggests that people should follow the PERMA Model — (a) Positive Emotion: what we feel (joy, pleasure, comfort, warmth, etc.); (b) Engagement: being fully absorbed in stimulating activities, being in “flow”; (c) Relationships with others that are positive, nurturing, rewarding; (d) Meaning: serving some purpose that is larger than oneself; (d) Accomplishment: pursuit of achievement and mastery. This could also mean work hard and play hard. Making time for leisurely activities, including reading and sweating it out doing physical exercise. And working on a personal goal — a new set of books to read, an online course to complete. The list of positive personal targets is endless.

FIND YOUR HAPPINESS BOOSTER/S: Some people and nations find this easy, whether it's through volunteering or giving to charity. Here’s one example: In 2018, for the fifth year in a row, the OECD named the UAE as the world's largest Official Development Aid (ODA) donor relative to national income — giving Dh19.3 billion to 147 countries in 2017 alone (also marked as “The Year of Giving”). In this pandemic, the UAE shares its good fortune through the International Humanitarian City in Dubai and the Emirates Humanitarian City in Abu Dhabi, hubs of global aid to developing countries amid COVID. Giving is one of the biggest avenues of happiness in the world. In 2020, Americans gave $471.44 billion through philanthropies — more than the combined national budgets of several countries already. Many studies show that practicing kindness — works of charity or mercy — generate significant boosts in happiness.

LET POSITIVITY CASCADE: Researchers say that helping others leads to "a cascade of positive social consequences”. Lots of good social things happen when you are generous and kind to others, and many of these play a direct role in making us happier. This holds true in the centuries and millennia of human existence, even now in the time of pandemic.

DO 'SERIAL ACTS OF KINDNESS': In one study, college students were asked to do five acts of kindness per week over a period of six weeks. Each week, one group of students were asked to do all five of their acts of kindness in one day; another group of students could spread out their acts of kindness over the entire week. A third group of students (a control group) didn’t do anything at all. The acts of kindness they performed ranged from the profound to the mundane. Here are some of the examples they cited: (1) “Bought my brother a comic book; (2) Donated blood; (3) Bought a homeless man a burger; (4) Visited Grandma in the hospital; (5) Was designated driver for a night at a party; (6) Helped someone (a stranger) with computer problems; (7) Told a professor “thank you” for his hard work.

KNOW WHAT KINDNESS MEANS: Different people may define “acts of kindness” differently — cultural differences also play a part. For example, some people may find “visiting Grandma in the hospital” not an act of kindness as much as a “duty”, something a person is expected to do. However, we can all identify what “kindness” could mean to us. And try to do more of it. (One example: not hanging the phone on cold callers/telemarketers. Clearly, each one has his/her own subjective definition of what kindness means.

START WITH FIVE ACTS OF KINDNESS, IN ONE DAY: In the study, research found that members of the "control group”, who weren’t asked to help others more, actually helped less over the course of the study. But the participants who were asked to do those five acts of kindness a week — either on a single day or over a week — actually did report increases in helping. Start today.

KINDNESS=HAPPINESS: One startling revelation from the study — all that kindness did succeed in making those in the experimental group happier — but only in the measure where the “subjects" performed all their acts of kindness in one single day. Researchers argue that this was because the deliberate acts of kindness were mostly pretty mundane or small. It only had “power” if they are more concentrated within a shorter timeframe. It turns out spreading acts of kindness across the week just might not have made much of an impact, indistinguishable from the other things the “subjects” in the experiment tended to do.

KNOW THE KNOCK-ON EFFECTS: What explains the knock-on effects of kindness on our happiness? Researchers believe it’s about self-perception…i.e. that when you’re kind and generous to others, you start to see yourself as a generous person. “It helps you see yourself as interconnected to others,” Lyubomirsky states. “It makes you interpret other people’s behaviour more charitably, and it relieves distress over other people’s misfortune—all things that are good for happiness.”

KNOW THE POWER OF LOVE: Charity comes from the word ‘caritas’, which means love of humankind. The practice of charity is the voluntary giving of help to those in need, as a humanitarian act. There are a number of philosophies about charity, often associated with religion. Effective altruism is the use of evidence and reasoning to determine the most effective ways to help others.

KNOW THAT MONEY, POWER, HONOUR, PLEASURE ARE NOT THE ULTIMATE MEASURES OF HAPPINESS: We now know that money, power, honour, and pleasure cannot bring the ultimate happiness. Numerous studies now bear this out: the biggest “happiness boost” comes from the social consequences of kindness, or charity. When you help others, you might make new friends, or other people might appreciate what you’ve done, so they might reciprocate in your times of need. Which brings us back to the Chinese proverb. The Book of Proverbs, too, has this to say: “The one who despises his neighbour sins, but whoever shows kindness to the poor will be happy.”