Have you heard of sleep divorces?

They say laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. Many couples will attest to the truth of this saying as they have discovered that snoring is destroying their marriage. Men seem to be more guilty of this habit or affliction and I have heard many women describe how the noise has disturbed their sleep and peace of mind.

On a holiday to Goa, the subject of snoring came up and soon the men were singled out by their wives for disturbing the peace, describing the decibel levels and the variations in sound that kept them awake through the night. It was a family gathering and, after hearing the vivid accounts, it was decided that the worst offenders would share a room so that the others could have a good sleep.

With routines being turned upside down during this pandemic, many people have complained about disturbed sleep patterns which affects their work performance.

Some of us struggle to sleep while others fall into the arms of Morpheus without any difficulty. However, as a married couple, it is important to synchronise your sleeping habits but this isn’t always possible. So, many are opting to sleep in separate rooms to ensure a good night’s rest.

Some of us are restless sleepers, tossing and turning all night, which can keep other occupants of the room awake. Or, worse still is a couple with body clocks that are completely out of sync.

An all-out war

One might be a strict adherent of the early to bed and early to rise rule while their partner is a night owl who likes to stay up to watch TV or read. In such a situation, it is best to opt for separate rooms before the arguments and complaints escalate into all-out war.

I have often fought with siblings over inconsiderate behaviour while sharing a room. I cannot sleep while the lights are on and I could never understand why some people (siblings) insisted on reading a fat tome at bedtime. As I tossed and turned, waiting for a signal that they were ready to go to sleep, I often had to resort to hinting that it was time they stopped reading which was met with firm resistance.

Then came the loud sighs of frustration followed by verbal grumbling about being insensitive to the feelings of others. When none of this had the desired effect, I was forced to read too. So, I would purposely read aloud which disturbed the sibling and the arguing began.

There was an unwritten rule in our house that the parents’ afternoon siesta was not to be disturbed. However, that was also the time of day when we would decide to play games that required a lot of shouting. As the decibel levels rose, the parents would shout out dire threats and warnings which forced us to lower the volume.

But we were perplexed by their low tolerance and found it difficult to understand why their afternoon rest was so important to them. In retrospect, I realise that having to put up with noisy children can be frustrating to say the least.

I guess couples resorting to sleeping in separate rooms can help deal with the problem of different sleep patterns or having to put up with your spouse’s loud snoring but there should be no resentment or feelings of abandonment.

My parents were the ultimate romantics and after my mum suffered a stroke, she couldn’t stand cool air on her skin. So the fan had to be at its lowest speed even at the height of summer. My father never complained and it never occurred to him that he could move to another room.

Shakespeare has written about gentle sleep but for someone sleeping next to a snorer, what is most annoying is that those who snore always seem to fall asleep first!

Vanaja Rao is a freelance writer based in Hyderabad, India