The Dubai Insider: Celebrating motherhood

Adorable handwritten notes, cards and photographs of my friends and their mums rolled through my Facebook newsfeed all day last Sunday. It was Mother’s Day.

Motherhood: apart from being the most satisfying role I have ever taken on, it came with challenges that I wish I had noticed in my own mother’s life. I understood her tireless dedication and unconditional love for the family only after I became a mother.

For me, the newness of motherhood came with being in Dubai for the first time. I had no family or friends here. I was coming out of post-partum depression, building a career and bringing up a baby all at the same time. While I learnt how to sanitise milk bottles, puree food and snugly swaddle my baby, I also learnt to form a support structure, with new friends. It was no easy feat. The “supermum syndrome” is something I brought onto myself, like many mums do. And I can tell you it leads to complete burnout.

Most families here are nuclear so finding one’s feet is initially a challenge. But once we find a system that works, things start falling into place, says fit and fabulous mum Priya Bhide. Bhide is a working mother and tells me she steers clear of any feelings of guilt. She feels that most mothers set themselves up for failure by expecting too much from themselves. She believes in doing her best for her family while making sure she has enough “me time” too.

Being a single mother, Shefali Munshi was both mother and father to her son. Though she has a successful career today and a perfectly turned-out teenager, Munshi’s journey wasn’t easy. And it was her friends that became her fallback plan pulling her through the trying times. She looks back on those days and feels that Dubai needs more groups or clubs to help new mothers communicate, bond and make friends. Then you realise that you are not alone.

Eventually, it boils down to one thing: who you are to your children? The best thing we can do for them is model the kind of people we want them to be. The “parent-overload/supermum” syndrome has not worked for anyone. The day I gave up feeling guilty for not spending enough time with my son, I became a much a happier mother, a better role model and a positive influence in his life.

So as you get back to your chores today, redefine your role as a mother. Start by applauding yourself for doing such a marvellous job. Recharge your batteries, be kind to yourself and swish that ‘supermum cape’ with style.

And if you need a sounding board – or you feel someone needs you — there’s a mother just a phone call away.