7 ways you’re triggering fights in your relationship – and how to fix them together

No doubt, drama was a lot more romantic when we were younger.

But, as you grow older, you notice that the slammed door sounds more jarring. The pointed sigh is a little sharper.

And, those heated arguments don’t quite look so romantic as they do on all the TV shows, where the reconciliations happen equally dramatically.

So, if you see that conflict is constantly recurring in your relationships, we might have a couple of suggestions on how to handle it, without wrecking both of you.

You can read here on what experts have said too.

No tantrums  (You’re not on reality TV)

 First, if you realise that you’re the one who enjoys the drama…you might have a little thinking to do. It goes both ways: People are  are not contractually obligated to deal with meltdowns. In fact, screaming, using hurtful words, just worsens the situation even more.  Take a breath, maybe eat a snack (hanger is real), and then talk it out.

Stop the ghosting game

If your partner does this,  talk to them about it. If you do it, because you can’t handle the discomfort right now, you need to rethink the approach. Vanishing after a fight, never makes the problem disappear.  Ghosting only creates confusion, resentment, and a pile-up of texts that start with “???” Instead of disappearing into the abyss, try a simple, “I need a little space, but I’ll circle back.”

Translation: Boundaries without the drama.

Don’t sweep it under the rug

 Pretending problems don’t exist, is basically like shoving dirty laundry under the bed. Address issues head-on, even if it feels awkward. A five-minute uncomfortable chat beats weeks of passive-aggressive vibes.

Quit the all-or-nothing thinking

 “He forgot to call me back. Clearly, he hates me.” We have all been there. Our rage and hurt cloud us so much that we believe the worst, in those moments. Maybe we are right, but maybe, we are wrong. They could have been caught up with something else too.

 So, try a little nuance: most conflicts are shades of grey.

 Learn to say: That hurt me

Here’s the grown-up hack: talk about how you feel without being passive aggressive. Saying, “It hurt me when you didn’t show up,” is way more effective than, “You never show up, you’re selfish, and you are the absolute worst.”

Short. Sweet. Impossible to misinterpret.

 Pick your battles

 Not every disagreement needs a dramatic showdown. Save your energy for the issues that actually matter, like financial decisions.

Walk away if you need to

 Sometimes the most mature move is to grab your keys, leave the argument, and come back later with a calmer brain. Walking away doesn’t mean giving up—it means choosing peace over pettiness. And honestly, nothing cools down a fight like a little fresh air and a coffee run.