'Had lunch?’ — how just two words can brighten a colleague’s stressful work day

“Had lunch?”

 It’s strangely comforting to realise that just two words can lighten up your day at work, whether they come from someone you rarely interact with or a close colleague.

Before my first job, I pictured an office as a grim array of desks, everyone behind screens, typing furiously, or walking with sheafs of papers. No one has time for anything but targets. You’re lucky if you make a friend.

10 years ago, I  was given these dour warnings.

 At the age of 24, you’re easily impressed and overwhelmed at the thought of being a workplace professional.

 Walk the walk, and talk the talk, as they say.

Ten years later, the idea of a workplace doesn’t feel so formidable or clinical, and it certainly isn’t like the dramatic offices I saw on TV. Yes, people carry coffees and papers, but more often than not, they pause to give you a little smile. That smile — a fleeting, small gesture — forms a kind of grammar for relationships somewhere between colleague and acquaintance.

There’s always a small routine you can build with someone, even if it lasts only a few seconds. They smile at you, ask how you’re doing, compliment your style — and you do the same in return. It’s these little exchanges and friendly greetings that can turn the workplace into a surprisingly comforting, gentle space. It doesn’t matter if you don’t become ‘best friends’ with them in the sense of the word that you’re used to. You don’t need to go out for dinner with them, or even know what’s happening in their homes.

Sometimes, you might rewrite your idea of friendships at the workplace, and find it is just as fulfilling.

A different kind of friend, perhaps, not someone you see outside work often, but still a friend who becomes part of your daily life. 

These friendships build up on little things.

And over the years, I’ve learned that these little things come in the form of simple phrases.  A few of them being, “Had lunch?” and “Please go have lunch, you haven’t eaten, yet.”  

 I only recently realised the impact of this simple phrase. Over the years, I’ve heard it from different people — some close colleagues, others mere acquaintances. It’s a brief check-in, but it’s these little gestures that add up, making the workplace more bearable and human.

No doubt, we’re often caught in a vortex of deadlines and targets. But seeing others being able to resurface, even if it's for a little bit, ask encourages me to do the same — to check in, to reciprocate, and hope they’re doing well. So, I'm glad for the colleagues over the years, who I might never speak to outside of work, but who have always firmly said, “You didn’t take the jalebis?” And for the teammates who quietly saved me a piece and left it on my table.

A few times, I’ve been quietly grateful to those who asked and stayed to hear the answer, even inquiring what I was having for lunch. You notice it most when they’re gone or have moved on. You miss the smiles, the small routines, the brief, but conversations that you didn’t know were part of your routine.

The things we take for granted.

On one of my particularly trying days, a colleague once saw me sitting alone and eating, and asked, “So, what are you eating today?”

 I answered, a little nervously. It was a new workplace, and I didn’t know how much information to volunteer. The conversation went on for a few minutes: What was my favourite food? Do I like cooking? And it ended with a joke, about how fast I eat.

 t was a short conversation. But, in somehow cheered me up in all the overwhelming gloom of the day. So, I’m always grateful for all those who I have met over the years, even if it did not blossom into quintessential close friendships, but still held enough value. For the receptionist, who once noted, “You aren’t wearing the flower today?” Or for those, who would ask me, “So what plans for the weekend?” And stay for the answer.

Perhaps, it's about feeling seen on days you feel particularly invisible.

It's not much and yet it means more. It has always reminded me that work, yes, can be a real rabbit warren of deadlines, exhaustion, but in those nine hours, if there’s someone who asks you if you’ve had lunch, you might just get through the day