Email paralysis is real: How to unfreeze your fingers and stop ghosting your inbox

This email didn’t find me well.

It found me staring into the void, which is my inbox that’s filled with other emails of people checking if I’m well.

10 years ago, I would’ve shaken my head at those who don’t reply to emails. Excuses, excuses.

But yikes, I’ve become that person. I see the emails rolling in; and then find myself saying, ‘Alright, I will continue this later’. And ‘later’ occurs when the person sends reminders in the form of question-marks and follow-ups. I immediately react and respond embarrassed, apologising profusely.

And probably, repeat the same thing again soon.  We need a name for this email-paralysing gravity—once and for all. People who coined ‘coffee-badging', 'lazy girl routine', and all the rest—you’re needed.

Clearly, it's all of us.

Dubai-based Jay Bhatt, humbly mentions that he gets so exhausted in just seeing so many polite emails and invitations. Everyone means well—nobody’s rude. They’re just doing their job.

 Yet here we are, frozen. Why?

 ‘A form of digital overwhelm’

The first answer is, yes, we’re just so saturated with information. It’s poring in from everywhere, emails, messages, social media, notifications, follows, new posts, calls…whew, it goes on. As Aidan O’ Brien, a strategic advisor, executive mentor, and keynote speaker explains: “Our brain can only handle and process so much. If something is not a priority and of primary importance, the information gets deleted and distorted. In most cases, it is nothing personal. It’s a form of overwhelm.

It’s an overload; a sign of organisation and structure, he says.

Why we resist

Yes, maybe you didn’t just want to. But, it’s a little more complex than that.

Jody Shield, a corporate leader and entrepreneur says that it is a lot more complex than simple forgetfulness. “What I’ve observed in my work with entrepreneurs and founders, is that forgetting to reply is frequently a subtle form of resistance. It can be cognitive overload, yes - but it can also be an unconscious way of avoiding pressure, responsibility, or even opportunity. Strange as that sounds as of course we want to be our most productive selves, and yet why aren’t we?”

Moreover, sometimes, it’s a curious case of self-sabotage, she adds. It’s a voice that just says, ‘I don’t feel ready to respond to this’. There could be several reasons behind it: Perfectionism, fear of conflict, or just fatigue. It’s not just disorganisation and understanding this, needs more compassion and responsibility. “These seemingly small lapses are often signals that we need to reset the way we’re working - not push harder, but lead ourselves more consciously,” she says.

Dubai-based Lucy Holt, a corporate communications professional, is too familiar with this feeling. “I had the reputation for being rude, as I never responded to emails. I tried, but I think somehow just seeing my inbox so flooded with questions, constant requests, sent me into some kind of freeze. It just reminded me of how much I had to do, and what I hadn’t done,” she says.

How digital overwhelm affects our ability to prioritise tasks

We might not know it immediately, but this overwhelm fragments our attention and dilutes our decision-making power. “When you're receiving hundreds of micro-stimuli a day - emails, messages, alerts, content - your mind and energy is constantly pulled out of the present. This affects not only your output, but your presence and leadership capacity,” says Shield.

As she notes, the productivity issue isn’t just tactical. It’s energetic. People are spread too thin across digital demands and are no longer anchored in their core priorities. “The nervous system enters a state of subtle fight or flight. Focus suffers. Creative thinking shuts down. Strategic clarity disappears. Managing this isn’t just about digital detox - it’s about re-prioritising depth over noise.”

So, how do you train your brain to follow through on ‘Ill reply later’

You need to answer to yourself, first.

 “If you want to perform at a high level you must create systems to prevent missed opportunities or casual communication. Schedule a time each day to respond to emails and commit to it,” says O’Brien. Prioritising communication is also crucial: high-priority messages get immediate replies, second-tier emails are scheduled, and accountability partners or mentors can help maintain efficiency.

While O’Brien focuses on systems and accountability, Shield highlights the psychological side: why we sometimes resist replying even when we know we should. You need to respond from a semblance of clarity, not reactivity, explains Shield. “Everyone operates at a different rhythm, and it is important to honour that.” For those who thrive on reflection, she suggests listing important replies as conscious reminders or sending a holding response: “Thank you for your message. I’ll reply as soon as I can with more clarity.”

There’s a sense of trust. At least, the other person knows that you’ll take time.

Beyond willpower

Willpower isn’t enough, according to Shield. “We are always looking for a short-cut, and productivity isn’t a short-cut. There’s a part of you who wants,  desires,  seeks to be unproductive. However, if this part isn’t given a bit of time and space to be unproductive—you will be in constant battle with your unproductive part.” Timers and batching tasks work best when aligned with your natural rhythm, whether in focused sprints or cyclical flows.

These techniques still fail, when we're disconnected from what's truly important to us, explains Cindi Santos, a psychologist from BPS Clinic, Dubai. As she explains: Values can act as a compass. When we connect a task to something we deeply care about, it becomes more than another item on a to-do list. For example, preparing a work report may feel draining, but if you link it to your value of growth or responsibility, it shifts from being “just work” to part of becoming the professional you want to be. Replying to a message may feel tedious, but if you connect it to your value of kindness or connection, it becomes an act of living the way you want to live.

Overload versus poor time management

The body keeps the score. The exhaustion shows up in the body. You are fatigued, anxious, irritable and just plain disengaged. “Poor time management often shows up as chaos and constant distraction,” says Shield. True overload demands rest, boundaries, and delegation. Often, what looks like overload is simply misaligned priorities. The most successful leaders aren’t the busiest—they’re the clearest.”

The role of self-compassion

Santos stresses the importance of self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same care you would extend to a friend. The guilt ebbs, and also nourishes a mindset open to growth. “It’s compassion, not criticism, that allows us to begin again with renewed motivation.” O’Brien echoes this: “The best self-compassion is being truthful with yourself. When you are truthful with yourself you are honouring yourself… Show up the best you can. Stay consistent and stay committed.”

Moving forward with intention

Following through isn’t about battling distractions—it’s about aligning with your values. Santos recommends pausing when you hear “I’ll do it later” and asking:

• What value matters to me here?

• What small action would reflect this value right now?

• If I can’t do it perfectly, what’s one “good enough” step I can take today?

By linking tasks to values and softening the pressure of perfection, ordinary actions become meaningful steps toward the life you want—turning “I’ll reply later” into “I’m doing what matters, intentionally.”