5 things breastfeeding mothers wish people would stop saying

Breastfeeding is a deeply personal journey, one filled with love, exhaustion, commitment, and, too often, unsolicited advice and commentary. While public health campaigns emphasise the benefits of breastfeeding, social support often lags behind, leaving mothers to navigate stigma, misconceptions, and outdated beliefs largely on their own.

Whether it’s a raised eyebrow in a restaurant or an offhand comment from a relative, these experiences can chip away at a mother’s confidence. It’s time we recognise that the problem isn’t breastfeeding itself, it’s how society responds to it.

Here are five things breastfeeding mothers wish people would stop saying and what we can do instead to offer genuine support.

1. Breastfeeding is natural — it should be easy

Yes, breastfeeding is natural but that doesn’t mean it’s simple, painless, or automatic. From latching issues and low milk supply to cracked nipples and mastitis, the physical and emotional challenges can be overwhelming, especially in the early weeks.

Natural doesn’t mean effortless. Most mothers face hurdles, and without adequate support, many give up before they want to.

Many women are caught off guard by how hard it can be. They may feel like they’re failing at something that’s “supposed” to be instinctive. What they need isn’t judgment, they need encouragement, education, and empathy.

2. You’re lucky — you don’t have to deal with bottles

This comment overlooks the intense demands of breastfeeding. It may seem convenient on the surface, with no bottles to sterilise or formula to mix, but the reality can be quite different.

Breastfeeding mothers often nurse around the clock, especially during growth spurts or cluster feeding phases. Add in sleep deprivation, pumping schedules, and the mental load of managing milk supply, and it’s far from “easy.”

Breastfeeding can also be isolating. Bottle-feeding allows others to share the workload, but nursing typically falls solely on the mother. Instead of calling her “lucky,” ask how you can help. Offering to do a household chore or hold the baby while she showers may be more valuable than you realise.

3. Isn’t she a little old to still be breastfeeding?

Once a child reaches toddlerhood, some people start side-eyeing continued nursing. The assumption is that breastfeeding beyond infancy is unnecessary, indulgent, or even inappropriate.

But these assumptions ignore both scientific evidence and cultural diversity. The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding for at least two years and beyond, as long as it’s mutually desired by mother and child. Extended breastfeeding continues to provide immune support, emotional comfort, and nutritional benefits.

In many cultures, it’s completely normal to breastfeed children well past their first birthday,It’s not a bad habit — it’s a healthy choice for families who want it.

Instead of questioning or judging, support the mother’s decision, even if it’s different from what you would do.

4. Just give formula — problem solved

Formula is a safe and valid feeding option. Many mothers choose it, and many rely on it out of necessity. But telling a struggling breastfeeding mother to “just give formula” can be dismissive of her goals, effort, and emotional investment.

For some women, breastfeeding is about more than milk. It may be tied to their identity as a mother, their sense of connection, or even healing from past experiences. Suggesting formula as a simple fix may unintentionally invalidate all of that.

If a mother opens up about difficulties, the best response is to listen. Ask if she wants help, not if she’s ready to quit. Support means respecting her choices, not prescribing your own.

5. Are you going to do that in front of everyone?

This loaded question is often laced with discomfort or judgment, subtly (or not-so-subtly) suggesting that breastfeeding in public is inappropriate. This kind of comment sexualises something that is biologically normal, functional, and necessary.

The truth is, babies need to eat — anytime, anywhere. And for breastfeeding mothers, that sometimes means nursing in public. Legal protections exist in many countries that uphold a mother’s right to feed her baby wherever she is allowed to be, but social acceptance still lags behind.

Breastfeeding isn’t a performance, it’s not meant to provoke or offend.

Instead of casting judgment, offer a smile or better yet, say nothing at all. Let her feed her child in peace.

What breastfeeding mothers need isn’t commentary, they need community. A listening ear, a warm gesture, or even the simple act of not saying the wrong thing can make a world of difference. Every mother’s breastfeeding journey is different, and none of them benefit from pressure, guilt, or judgment.

So the next time you see a mother breastfeeding, whether in a café, on a park bench, or at a family gathering, remember this: she doesn’t need your opinion. She needs your support.

Dr Tayyaba Mushtaq is Specialist Pediatrician, Aster Clinic Dubai Investment Park