The key to happiness is finding balance

It's important to fit in both the things you should do and the things you want to do.

The modern day Prince Charming may not have to sweep his damsel away on a white horse, but he still has his work cut out for him. He has to find the right woman, excel at his job, be strong and capable at home and also be sensitive and understanding in his role as family man.

Balancing obligations to employer and family can be challenging. And while women generally share their feelings with others, men often don't. They hide their emotions and keep their feelings bottled, which sometimes causes stress.

Hectic pace

Rakesh Dayal, a new father living in Sharjah, says, "Life has become quite hectic over the past few months because, besides having a two-month old baby, I have a lot of pending projects with tight deadlines. Though my parents are visiting and I would like to spend time with them, on many occasions I'm pressed for time. By the time I wrap up work, I'm totally fagged out."

Dayal feels that his life is no different from any other man making a living in the UAE. "I think stress will always be a part of our lives, we have to deal with it effectively."

Dr Padmaraju Varrey, a psychologist at the New Medical Centre in Abu Dhabi, says, "Unfortunately there is little importance given to men's health. Men are generally more prone to injury and sickness. In this region suicides are more common in men than in women. Unintentional injuries such as road accidents are also more common in men."

Most experts agree that the key to a happy, healthy life is finding a balance - ensuring you fulfil your obligations to job and family, and also to yourself. Modern men are finding their own ways of doing this.

Sunita Bhalla, who started one of the first yoga institutes in the UAE more than a decade ago, sees more and more men becoming involved in yoga today. She finds that most men visit the centre out of their own interest. "While some men join yoga to cure health problems such as high blood pressure and backaches, others practise yoga as a way of life. There is a lot of awareness among men as compared to before."

Amit Mulani has been practising yoga for the past 18 months. "Thanks to yoga, I have had no stress at all for more than a year now. I find that men tend to get stressed when they lose control of their emotions. Yoga and meditation has helped me control my thoughts and actions.

"I have managed to eliminate stress and believe it is possible to do so if you are disciplined. You have to spare just 10 minutes in the day for meditation. The remaining hours of the day go by without any yoga and they are stress free," he says.

Mulani believes in time management, "I have tried to create a balance in my life by setting a few priorities, those being my work, charitable activities, yoga and meditation, my family and me. Throughout the day, I divide my time giving each element its relevant importance."

Stress management

Often the inability to manage stress manifests in physical pain. Mary Ann Colle, a physiotherapist at Jebel Ali Hospital, says, "Most of my male patients complain of back problems but they usually don't come to the clinic unless the situation is really worrying. They would rather tolerate the pain than seek help."

Dr Mohammad Sameh Talib, specialist psychiatrist at Belhoul Speciality Hospital, finds that some of the common complaints men come with include headache, low back pain, nausea and dizziness. "These symptoms are sometimes serious enough to cause distress or even impair a patient's social and occupational setup. Stress is often the cause of such symptoms."

Sheldon Serrao, a copywriter with an advertising agency in Dubai, says, "We work 10 to 12 hours a day and sometimes more during the hectic parts of the year. As a copy editor my job is to check and authorise all written material that is leaving the agency either for print or a publication. At times it's taxing because there are a number of different jobs to attend to at the same time. I can't let my concentration slip at any point in time. I often come in to work on the weekend when the situation demands it."

He has managed to ease stress in life by playing football every Friday. "I wait for Friday, because football leaves me with a positive feeling which gets me through the week. It's something I discovered only after moving to the UAE," says Serrao.

"When I first thought of playing football at eight in the morning on a holiday, my roommate said no one would join. In one year more than 25 men from different walks of life have started attending the game and now share a great camaraderie.

"A lot of them have lost weight and are fitter and claim to be healthier. Others say they have given up alcohol because they want to wake up fresh to start playing on Fridays," he says.

"Being male is a health hazard," says Belinda Rennie, a nutritionist who has been practising in Dubai since 1992. "Statistics show that men are far less healthy than women with a considerably shorter average life span - 75 years compared with 81 years (Australian Bureau of Statistics, 1995).

The big three - where men are at a much greater risk of dying than women - are heart disease, accident and suicide, and men are more likely to suffer from obesity, alcoholism, cancer and smoking-related diseases.

"Like women, men over the age of 40 need to keep a closer eye on their health especially if there's a family history of heart disease, diabetes or cancer. Men's health is also about encouraging them to be more in touch with and to listen to their bodies and communicate feelings and emotions clearly and honestly. In this mindset, men would be more likely to do skin checks, report lumps or unusual changes in bowel motions or urinary difficulties and have them checked by their doctor," she says.

Positive aspects

Dr Philip Kissaic of New Al Ain Medical Clinic says most of his male patients come with complaints of anxiety. "Most of the male patients don't visit the hospital until it is urgent."

"Some men are spurred into action when a colleague collapses from heart problems while others can bury their head in the sand and think they are immune to illness," says Rennie.

"Focusing on the positive aspects of maleness and how to get the best out of life whether it means living long enough to see your grandchildren or running around in the park with a football are some great motivators to take health seriously," she says.