Lost your job in the UAE? How to protect your family when the income stops

Losing a job is a loss — and the grief doesn’t come in neat stages. Sometimes it’s five. Sometimes it feels like a dozen.

That’s how Anoush Chauhan, a now Dubai-based homemaker sees it. Recalling the deeply searing experience after she had lost a job out of the blue, “It just happened, suddenly. And I had two children to think of,” Chauhan explains. She was disoriented, in the beginning. After being so busy for years, she just had time in her hands. It was time that she didn't want.

She went through ‘over ten stages’ of grief, she says. “It felt like a personal failure and I had never failed ever, in my life before. But I realised that I couldn’t keep focusing on what had passed, who had done what, as much as I wanted to.” Nevertheless, she finally achieved an uneasy acceptance, but never a real closure.

As Chauhan and many others would say, it’s never ‘just a job’. There’s a distinct grief in letting go of something you’ve been closely connected to, especially after being part of it for so long.

‘Anger, shame and failure, rolled into one'

Ten months down, despite finding another job, Dubai-based Malvika Sahni, a mother to a pre-teen, (name changed on request), still finds herself crying, wondering about what had really happened. The longer you have been on the job, the more attached you are to it, as she says. "I lost my job after 15 years. I had worked extremely hard, sometimes giving my work more importance than my health and family. So, when I was let go, there was no closure.”

She often keeps pondering what she could have done differently, and considered therapy, as it’s a mix of feelings, anger, shame and feeling like a failure all rolled into one.

As the experiences show, it’s not just the income you grieve. It’s your identity, as Beth Clay, the founder of Financed Well explains. It's the structure and sense of security that comes with it.

So, how? How do you cope with suddenly losing a job, emotionally and financially, especially when you have a family to think about?

Allow yourself to grieve the change

Sometimes, there’s a panic that sets in. There’s a rush to fix the situation. Update the CV, apply for jobs, push through and make calls, but, the burnout starts there.

Both Marissa Kamall, founder of GAIA, a women’s leadership and community platform as well as the former manager in HSBC, and Clay explain: The first step is to allow yourself to feel it emotionally. Then remind yourself, this is transitionary. It isn’t a reflection of your worth; you haven’t lost your value. Your circumstances have changed, perhaps a little too brutally. So reach out to others, talk to friends and allow yourself to grieve for what had become a part of your identity.

Once the emotions start to settle, the next step is gaining control — over your mind and your money.

Get a grip on the numbers and your nerves

Anxiety spirals in uncertainty. “When your income suddenly drops, start by knowing your numbers — what’s essential, what’s flexible, and what can pause for now,” says Clay.

That visibility, she adds, gives you control. “It may only be for a short time that you adjust — fewer shopping trips or takeaways — but focus instead on other areas that bring you joy, like beach walks or time outdoors.”

Dr. Girish Banwari, Specialist Psychiatrist at Medcare Camali Clinic, calls this process ‘financial first aid.’ His advice: “Audit your finances. Prioritise essentials like food, housing, and utilities. Negotiate with lenders — many offer forbearance, deferment, or hardship plans if you contact them early.”

Moreover, separate facts from fears. We catastrophise quickly. Yet, maybe, the numbers aren’t as bad as our anxiety tells us. Sit down, breathe, and write things out. Seeing your situation on paper takes away a lot of its power.

When financial stress enters the home

Money stress has a way of leaking into everything — conversations, moods, even parenting. “I’ve seen couples argue not necessarily about money itself, but about what it represents — things like control or guilt,” says Clay. “Turn money into a shared conversation, not a secret.”

When one loses their job, the instinct can be to withdraw out of shame. Yet, it’s vulnerability that brings people closer. Talk about what’s happening. Ask for help. You might be surprised how much support your family and community can offer. "Sit down together, share how you both feel, and agree on priorities. In a true partnership, there shouldn’t be 'your money' and 'my money'- just shared goals and transparency. The openness itself reduces friction and helps both partners feel more in control," adds Kamall.

Putting gratuity into savings

For many, financial transparency is just the first step. Real action often requires quick, logical decisions.

As Sahini recalls from her experience, she had to put pause on her own emotions and make logical decisions, as they had to deal with high school fees, high rent, bills, and groceries on one person’s income. “The level of anxiety in such a situation is subjective to your living situation. With family responsibilities you really don't think of reducing anxiety, you just think of what your next step is. For me it was putting my gratuity into savings and reducing home expenses as much as possible immediately, while starting the process of job hunting,” she says.

And, the only way to manage the mounting stress healthily, is you have a supportive family. Sahni recalls how both her husband and son came through for her, as they knew job-hunting was a full-day job in itself and didn't expect her to do household chores. "They would also often check on me to make sure I was doing okay, and motivating me when I felt distraught,” she says.

Her steps to smart spending:

When asked what helped her stay financially and emotionally afloat, Sahni breaks it down into clear, realistic steps:

• Cut the impulse spends: “I deleted shopping apps, downgraded my mobile plan, reduced outings, and switched to public transport instead of taxis.”

• Audit your subscriptions: “I revisited my app store to cancel unnecessary monthly charges.”

• Have honest family conversations : “I sat my child down and explained why we needed to cut expenses until I found another job.”

• Defer loan payments: “You can speak to your bank to defer payments if you lose your job. The UAE’s ILOE system also offers short-term financial relief.”

• Prioritise survival, not luxury: “Go through every bill and cut what you can. Family needs and essentials come first; leisure can wait.”

Swap, don’t stop and seek help early

The little things add up over time.  “I’m a big believer in swapping, not stopping your money habits,” Clay says. “You don’t need to strip joy out of your life to save. Swap the brunch for a picnic, the takeaway for a home-cooked dinner, or a shopping trip for a walk with friends.”

If loans or mortgages are looming, Dr. Banwari advises action before panic. “If you’re struggling with repayments, don’t wait until crisis hits — speak to your bank early. Most lenders have hardship options. The key is to buy yourself breathing room before burnout sets in.”

Kamall elaborates further, "Ideally, choose loans and mortgages that still feel manageable even if income changes. But if you’re already facing a challenge, don’t suffer in silence. Contact your bank - many have hardship options, such as short-term payment holidays or extending the loan term to reduce monthly repayments."

Here's what you need to do:

Start small and stay intentional. Swapping daily takeaway coffees for home-brewed ones or planning meals in advance can save more than you think. Shopping at value supermarkets, cooking in batches, and avoiding waste all add up quickly, explains Kamall.

A list of actionable steps provided by experts:

When your income drops

Financial first aid

• Audit your finances—list income, expenses, and debts.

• Prioritise essentials (food, rent, utilities).

• Contact lenders early to request hardship or deferment options.

Smart cutbacks

• Pause non-essential subscriptions.

• Cook more, buy generic brands.

• Downsize or share housing temporarily if needed.

Protect your health

• Exercise regularly, even short walks.

• Maintain good sleep hygiene.

• Limit caffeine, which heighten anxiety.

When money strains family life

1. Talk, don’t blame

• Discuss finances calmly and honestly.

• Use 'we' language—“How can we adjust together?”

Be honest with children

Reassure them they’re safe and loved.

• Involve them in small cost-saving ideas, like home game nights.

Keep normalcy

• Stick to family routines—meals, bedtimes, shared activities.

• Focus on connection over consumption.

Revisit shared goals

• Remind everyone this is temporary and part of a plan to recover stronger.