School is almost back in the UAE: Who’s more worried — your child or you? 7 ways to ease the transition

The countdown to the first day of school has a way of turning into a full-scale operation: Earlier bedtimes, tighter screen limits, freshly organised bags, a push for independent mornings, and a mental checklist of how children 'should' behave once term starts.

The trouble is, trying to get everything right before day one can end up making the transition harder, not easier.

Returning to school is an emotional shift, from the comfort and familiarity of home into separation, new friendships, classroom expectations, and a fresh set of demands. And that shift deserves as much attention as the packing list.

According to Heenal Reddy, a psychotherapist and child and adolescent specialist at Sage Clinics, the best thing parents can do is resist the urge to overhaul everything at once, and start paying closer attention to what children are actually communicating through their behaviour. Here are seven common missteps she flags, and what to do instead.

1. Trying to fix everything at once

Resetting bedtime, wake-up times, screen habits, mealtimes, independence, and expectations all in the same week feels efficient. In practice, it tends to overwhelm children rather than help them.

Most parents want their child to feel prepared and secure, Reddy notes, and that pressure to get everything 'right' is completely understandable — but piling on too many changes too quickly rarely lands the way it's intended. It's worth remembering, too, that this isn't purely a logistical transition. “Most parents want to help their child feel prepared and secure, but it is easy to put pressure on ourselves to get everything ‘right’. One common mistake is trying to change too much, too quickly, sleep, screen time, mealtimes, independence and expectations all at once," she says.

Children are moving out of the ease of home and back into separation, relationships, and new demands, so a bit of pushback along the way is often just part of adjusting, not a sign that something's wrong.

Try this instead: Rather than a total reset overnight, pick the one or two changes that will actually move the needle. Ask yourself what's realistic for your child right now and what's realistic for you. Small, manageable shifts help children capable rather than swept along.

2. Accidentally teaching kids that school is something to dread

Asking 'are you worried about going back?' on repeat usually comes from a caring place. But checking in too often or too anxiously can send the message that there's something worth worrying about in the first place.

Children are remarkably good at picking up on the emotional temperature around them, Reddy points out. A useful gut-check for parents: Is this my child's anxiety, my own, or some mix of the two?

Try this instead: Acknowledge that the return to school might feel a little strange without framing it as a threat. Something as simple as "it might feel odd going back, but we'll take it one step at a time" reassures without making anxiety the centrepiece of every conversation.

3. Waiting until the last minute to reset the routine

Flipping from holiday hours to school hours overnight is a jolt nobody needs, children included.

The better approach starts one to two weeks out: Gradually shift bedtime and wake-up times toward the school schedule, and start easing back into morning routines. Evening screen time can be dialled down the same way. None of this needs to be perfect, the point is giving children small, predictable changes so the return doesn't feel like everything familiar vanished overnight. “Ideally, around one to two weeks beforehand. Gradually move bedtime and wake-up times towards the school schedule and gently reintroduce morning routines," explains Reddy.

Try this instead: Begin the adjustment about one to two weeks before term starts, moving gradually rather than flipping a switch. The goal is to give children time to grow familiar with the new rhythm before they need it.

4. Mistaking resistance for defiance

A child who won't go to bed, drags their feet through the morning routine, or pushes back on new rules can easily get labelled 'difficult.' But that behaviour is often a signal, not a character flaw.

When too many things shift at once, Reddy explains, children can feel like they're losing control and routines are often exactly how they experience safety and predictability in the first place. What looks like defiance is sometimes a child's way of saying this is too much, all at once.

Try this instead: Rather than adding more rules, step back and ask whether too many changes are landing at the same time. Choose one or two realistic priorities instead of all of them. Small tasks children can manage on their own, packing a snack, laying out clothes, build genuine independence far better than a sudden expectation that they handle everything at once. And when a morning goes sideways, that's not a parenting failure. Repairing and reconnecting afterward is its own valuable lesson.

5. Packing the school bag but skipping the emotional prep

School supplies, uniforms, and schedules are easy to organise because they're tangible. Feelings are messier, which is exactly why they get left out.

It helps to simply ask what a child is looking forward to, what they might miss from the holidays, and what feels hard about going back. Younger children in particular may not have the vocabulary for any of this yet, so watch for it showing up in play, drawing, or rehearsing the school-morning routine instead, these are often the safest outlets for feelings kids can't quite put into words.

Try this instead: Lean on age-appropriate ways to explore the transition drawing the first day, 'playing school' with toys, or a practice run through the morning.

And remember the adjustment doesn't end at the school gate: coming home can require its own decompression, especially in the first few emotionally and physically exhausting weeks. Skip the interrogation at pickup, a snack, a drink, a hug, or some quiet time goes further than an immediate debrief. Save the gentle questions — "what was good today?", "was anything tricky?" — for a little later.

6. Rushing to reassure a child who says they don't want to go back

When a child announces "I don't want to go to school," the instinct is to reassure them immediately that everything will be fine. Curiosity, it turns out, works better than reassurance.

A simple "what feels hardest about going back?" opens more doors than a quick "don't worry, you'll be fine" ever will, says Reddy. The goal isn't necessarily to make the uncomfortable feeling disappear on the spot, sometimes the first, more useful step is just helping a child name what actually feels difficult.

What to watch for: Anxiety rarely announces itself as 'I'm anxious.' In practice, it shows up as avoidance, tears, irritability, or resistance. Younger children may express it even more indirectly, tummy aches, headaches, changes in sleep or appetite, clinginess, or trouble separating at drop-off. None of this automatically points to an anxiety disorder, but it's worth paying attention to as a sign the transition needs a bit more support.

7. Expecting the transition or yourself to be flawless

There's enormous pressure on parents to make the first day, the first week, the whole transition go smoothly. But children were never asking for a flawless back-to-school experience.

What they actually need, Reddy says, is to feel like someone is alongside them, helping them make sense of what feels hard. And that goes for parents too, you're navigating this transition right alongside your child, so it's worth checking in with yourself as much as with them. “Children don’t need the transition to go perfectly. They need to feel that someone is alongside them and can help them make sense of what feels difficult," she says.

Feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or unsure at points doesn't mean you're doing it wrong; it means you're human. Nobody needs to respond perfectly every time. What matters is noticing when things have gotten hard, and being willing to repair and reconnect afterward.