Domestic violence: Kerala couple in UAE didn't talk to each other for 10 years – experts raise red flags

A Kerala couple in Sharjah has reportedly lived under the same roof without speaking to each other for more than a decade – a silence they adopted as a means to “save” their marriage. The case, which recently surfaced during a community initiative on domestic distress, has shocked many and prompted mental health professionals to warn of the deep psychological consequences of such prolonged emotional disconnection.

Repeated arguments and an inability to resolve conflicts reportedly pushed the couple into this extreme coping strategy. Rather than separating, they chose to completely avoid communication, hoping to prevent further confrontation.

Why couples choose silence over separation

Dr Nada Omer Elbashir, Consultant Psychiatrist at Burjeel Hospital in Abu Dhabi, said such prolonged silence often stems from an avoidance of conflict, fear of escalation, or an inability to resolve deep-rooted issues.

“In some cases, silence becomes a coping mechanism to coexist without confrontation,” Dr Elbashir said. “People stay together despite emotional disconnection due to fear of divorce, financial dependence, emotional inertia, and cultural or societal pressure.”

Domestic violence, suicidal thoughts

However, the mental toll can be severe.
Dr Elbashir warned that prolonged silence can result in emotional numbness, anxiety, depression, and chronic mental health strain.
“Long-term unresolved resentment and isolation may result in emotional breakdowns, domestic violence, or even suicidal ideation and other crises.”

Emotional and physical toll

Clinical psychologist Sreevidhya Srinivas from Medcare Camali Clinic in Jumeirah, noted that such emotionally distressing or high-conflict relationships can result in emotional exhaustion, confusion, guilt, helplessness, and a deep erosion of self-worth.

“In some cases, the consequences include symptoms consistent with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD).”
Srinivas noted that individuals may also exhibit somatic symptoms like fatigue, disturbed sleep, and psychosomatic complaints.

Deeper risks behind the silence

Worryingly, the silence can mask deeper risk factors.
“Extreme emotional dysregulation when combined with a perceived lack of escape, support or emotional validation can lead to what is known as a ‘crisis state’. In such states, the capacity for impulse control and emotional regulation may be compromised, especially in individuals with limited coping strategies or existing psychiatric vulnerabilities,” Srinivas warned.

Recognising warning signs is vital

Changes in behaviour, increased substance use, social withdrawal, or a noticeable shift in how couples interact in public – such as persistent tension or emotional detachment – can all be red flags, experts said.

Therapy can help

Therapy, both experts agreed, can offer a path forward.
“Couples therapy offers a structured, neutral space for each partner to communicate their needs and concerns while working to improve relational patterns, emotional intimacy, and conflict resolution,” Srinivas said.
She pointed out that therapy is not always about reconciliation.
“In some cases, therapy facilitates a respectful and psychologically healthy separation process.”

Rooted in trauma, masked as silence

While such cases of decade-long silence are rare, both professionals have encountered similarly dysfunctional dynamics in their clinical work. These patterns, they said, often trace back to early trauma, poor communication habits, or cultural norms that discourage confrontation.

“Relationship distress doesn’t always look like shouting or violence,” Dr Elbashir concluded. “Sometimes, the loudest cry for help is silence.”