Learning to drive in Dubai at 45

Millions of people all over the world drive. It is a ‘so-called’ basic skill. Inspired seeing so many women drivers on the roads these days I also decided to enroll myself for driving classes. Surprisingly, I happen to have a licence in my home country. But I don’t drive. I got the license more than 15 years back but for a myriad of reasons didn’t pursue driving. The license remained dormant in my dad’s almirah along with umpteen other documents that he stores for keepsakes. There it rests in peace, by now its stature no less than that of a souvenir or family heirloom.

I was pretty excited for my first class. My instructor from Pakistan was a jubilant fellow with unmatched driving skills. He veered my wheel like Dominic Toretto in Fast and Furious to avoid accidents as I swerved through the bylanes of Mankhool. He was infinitely patient while I was in panic mode getting the jitters every time a vehicle approached mine from the opposite direction even if it was on the other track. Soon I started dreading class day, and the assessments would leave me shaken. I was in total trauma while on the learning curve to realisation that 45 years of age was not the best time to begin driving.

My instructor and supervisors at the institute tried to encourage me citing examples of women aged 58 and even 67 who went on to become excellent drivers Nothing helped. But I goaded myself on. Not only because I had coughed up a hefty sum for the course but also because I didn’t want to throw in the towel so fast. I pushed myself to get ready and board the metro every other day for my classes. The institute gave me special training so that I could practice more to gain confidence and thereby shed my anxiety. I had assumed I was alone in this fight until I met so many women crusaders about my age struggling like me. It made me wonder: why are women often stereotyped as “bad” drivers? I’ve come to believe the answer lies in our upbringing.

Girls are often given dollhouses, not Legos or building toys. They aren’t encouraged to play games like Minecraft — the very activities that build essential spatial skills. Meanwhile, most young boys like my son grew up playing with remote controlled cars. My son has been an expert in racing cars, car models, engines etc since he was 7 or 8 and guides me on all types of parking manoeuvres etc. So I’d say stereotyping has a big role to play in this gender disparity.

Most boys are expected to drive once they turn 18, but not girls. In future, I have made it my mission to advise all expecting moms to get toy cars for their daughters the very moment they start crawling. I looked into the science behind this skill mismatch between genders, and it seems there is no such disparity by nature. It’s all in the nurture.

There were trainers at my driving school who taught on a war footing, others who were motivational — relating anecdotes to keep me relaxed and focussed, even ones who reprimanded me with a glare when I repeated mistakes. Thanks to their dedication and perseverance I finally passed my RTA test on the third attempt. The RTA inspectors are highly skilled and can detect mistakes with a hawk’s eye, filtering out the reckless and nervous in seconds.

When I ultimately passed I felt like a huge rock had been lifted off my chest. The test days had been nightmarish, and I had these weird dreams of driving on endless roads with infinite signals and roundabouts. Time slowed down before the tests and I felt I had aged decades through each of these time warps.

I’m glad it is all over now and I have the roads to myself to drive, and I do. And yes, I enrolled my daughter for driving classes at 18, so I don’t see her become a late crusader, like her mom.