Foil your friendly diet foes

How do you refuse that loving cousin or that jealous friend who blackmails you into eating "only a tiny piece of cake I baked specially for you? It doesn't hurt to indulge once in a while. You are beautiful just as you are"?

And though you almost hear the buttons on your blouse popping, you're forced to give in to that hangdog expression on their faces.

Often enough, you need to accept it to "fit in", such as joining a new workplace where everyone loves to party. You're the outsider and you can't change a whole group of "friends". So bring on the samosas.

These people are consciously or unconsciously sabotaging your diet.

But the scariest of them all is yourself.

My love-hate relationship with food has been on for decades now. So much so that no one really takes me seriously anymore when I tell them I'm on a diet.

Sometimes a stressful day at work will make you feel like chucking it all and eating what's cooked for other members of the family, who are not on a diet, rather than prepare your own special meal. Only I know how many times I've given in to this.

Curb cravings

Mitun De Sarkar, a dietitian at the North West clinic in Dubai, says it's ultimately we who are responsible for breaking our diets.

"Self-control and willpower can be really tough but, ultimately, you are responsible for what you eat. If other people choose to eat junk food, it doesn't force you to do so.

"You have to decide whether that is worth the effort you have to put in to burn those calories."

As for emotional blackmail, Carol Holditch, the founder of Good Habits, a weight watchers group in the UAE, who knows what it's like as she has experienced the pains of weight loss herself, says: "Recognising that it is happening is the first step. Try to think what is behind it. For example, your partner is feeling a little envious of the new slim you and maybe feeling a little threatened at the new attention you are receiving.

"You do need to address the blackmail — sit and talk it through and come up with a solution that you are both happy with. Compromise and understanding are very important. If you let the blackmailer continue, resentment and anger will build up and you will end up eating more. Be firm and fair!"

So how do we keep off these people — and ourselves — in this quest?

"Losing weight and changing your lifestyle is difficult, and you need all the support you can get. So when you encounter sabotage, resolve to make friends, not enemies. It's better not to flare up each time sabotage rears its ugly head.

"Instead of knee-jerk reactions, explain to the saboteur why you need to avoid certain foods and situations right now.

"You don't need to shove good eating habits down anyone's throat but actually sitting down and explaining to a person why you are serious about losing weight can be very effective."

Eat small amounts

De Sarkar suggests: "Sometimes even if you have self-control, it may be rude to refuse the birthday cake in your office or the fat-loaded dish mum-in-law has made especially for you. All you have to do is accept it in a very small amount. Eat only 10 per cent of the portion that you would otherwise have eaten. Tasting the favourite food can be surprisingly satisfying too.

"You can always insist that you have just eaten a big breakfast or lunch, and are full. In fact, if you have seriously eaten a big, healthy, wholesome meal and have had small, frequent, low-calorie meals throughout the day, you won't be tempted to reach out for the cheat foods in big amounts and can thus curb the temptation."

Diet enemy: Family

How to spot them: A constant desire to ply you with food — or as they call it, "love".

Though my family is otherwise supportive of my diet, how can I refuse my darling daughter when she bakes those delicious cookies and cakes? As a mother, I must appreciate and encourage her, and that's not possible without eating the cookies. Also, when my mother or sister-in-law says "you've been dieting too long. Just for once sit and enjoy your food", I do give in.

Carol Holditch suggests: "My other half is a real foodie and always wanted to eat out, which is hard when you are trying to diet," she says. "We talked about it and came up with a compromise. One meal out in a week, and I could choose, so I was able to steer him towards a healthier eatery. In exchange, I cooked a healthy special meal once a week at home that was a new recipe, so we both felt we were having a treat. Talking it through is definitely the answer."

Diet enemy: The workplace

How to spot them: The "Just returned from a holiday back home. Sweets at my desk." Mass e-mail.

The birthday cakes and back-from-holiday sweets are never-ending. Neither is the ever-efficient receptionist with her bowlful of sweets. My best friend recently sent me a picture of her office drawer that a colleague had taken and appropriately captioned "sweet shop", for it was full of chocolates and other sugary treats.

Self-restraint doesn't always work. Get a colleague who's also a friend to discourage you each time the smell of samosas wafts from the pantry. Someone suggested leaving the office and taking a walk around the office compound. By the time you return, the smells would have died down. Or do what I do — drink a lot of water. Keep a bottle filled at all times at your desk. And for that post-lunch drowsiness you wish to dispel with a bar of chocolate, eat a granola bar or a fruit. Don't keep high-calorie snacks such as potato chips or candy. Snack on unsalted nuts or seeds instead.

Diet enemy: Self

How to spot them: "I deserve a treat for all my hard work."

Never underestimate yourself, especially when you're trying to lose weight. We are our biggest enemies. We are born with taste buds that bloom each time we encounter food. I usually quell my cravings by taking a bite of what tempts me.

Carol Holditch suggests: "Don't beat yourself up. Decide on a sensible amount of what you're going to eat. Put the food on a plate, sit down and enjoy every morsel, eating slowly. Substitute for something healthier and get back to eating healthy at the very next meal. Try a little extra exercise to burn off the extra calories and improve your mood, and for the feel-good factor. Give yourself a reward [non-food] for changing your habits into good ones."

Diet enemy: Jealous friend

How to spot them: "You look beaaaauuuuutiful! You worry too much."

There is always a fat friend in your life who is just a wee bit jealous if your weight-loss programme is working. I should know, for I've been both the victim and the jealous tempter. But I am jealous of only those who are actually not fat but insist "my arms are fat or my tummy is huge", when they have arms less than half the size of mine, or a non-existent stomach. Then again, we've all encountered the one who says: "You've done so well on your diet. Come, let me treat you to a nice lunch." Which translates into: "Let me take you out for a greasy meal to make up for all that fat you've lost."

The best way to deal with this person is by insisting on choosing the place you will eat at or inviting her for a nice home-cooked meal you've prepared yourself. And make sure you take the packet of chips she's eating away from her.

What you can do to control yoursel when being tempted

Carol Holditch says: "This is very challenging, but you can use skills and respond in a different way. Try the following method when faced with eating something tempting."

• Don't listen to the cheesecake … or anyone who says you have to eat it
• If it's self-sabotage, do not have tempting foods on show and preferably don't buy them. Then you cannot eat them.
• Distract — go call a friend.
• Put distance between you and the food. Go for a walk, get away from the food.
• Exercise — you will feel positive.
• Find something else that makes you feel good right now.
• If you do decide you are going to eat food high in calories, eat a sensible amount and enjoy every mouthful.
• Don't go to an all-you-can-eat promotion.
• Substitute. Cook healthy alternatives to your favourite restaurant foods. Indulge in a home-made ice-lolly with fresh fruit juice instead of ice-cream.

If you follow a healthy diet and eat regularly, temptation will be reduced.

And finally, learn to say no!!!!!

Eat healthy

Mitun De Sarkar gives the following tips to avoid high-calorie foods. "Eating healthy doesn't mean you have to only munch on a celery stalk. You have to eat a well-balanced diet throughout the day, and that can be one of the key ingredients of controlling and resisting temptations."

- Eat breakfast: Start your day with cereal or oats and milk or eggs with wholemeal breads, fruits or a breakfast smoothie with yoghurt, fruits and nuts. It is nutritious, with a good balance of carbohydrates, protein and healthy fats. If you skip breakfast, you will be starved around 11am and will eventually reach out for temptation foods such as cookies or a cake or a takeout.

- Eat small, frequent meals throughout the day: Never allow your stomach to feel starved. If you do, at mealtime a salad won't satisfy. You will crave fast food that is high in fat, salt and sugar.

- Avoid multitasking or eating on the run: This leads to eating easy-to-stuff-in-your-mouth foods, such as hotdogs, croissants, a pizza or chips. If you are so pressed for time, carry home-made wraps with wholewheat khubz or wholemeal sandwiches with protein to eat on the go. But I would still emphasise eating slowly and focusing on eating. Eat a home-made salad and brown rice with chicken and veggies or a whole meal pasta with veggies.

- Be moderate when indulging: If you eat healthily throughout the week, there is no harm in eating your cheat foods on weekends — but in moderation.

- Order grilled or raw foods: When eating out on weekdays, order a salad but ask for dressing on the side. Order grilled chicken, fish or meat or tofu, beans and some side order of vegetables or steamed rice.

- Drink plenty of water: It tricks your mind and keeps you feeling full. Sip green tea instead of sodas and coffee during the day.

- Keep healthy food in the house and in your office: Fruits, vegetable sticks, hummus dip, low-fat yoghurt, nuts, dry fruits, wholegrain crackers, canned beans, tuna in water, low-fat cheese, boiled eggs, etc are good choices. Don't stock your cupboard with chips, cookies and chocolates. Identify which foods can be labelled junk and are extra-difficult for you to resist. Simply keep them out of reach.