New mum exhaustion? The sleep myths keeping you up — and how to fix it

For new mums, the only constant is chaos, at least at first. Mornings blur into nights, cries come without warning, and sleep feels like a myth.

That’s Dubai-based Ajitha Das’s learning. After her daughter was born last year, Das just remembers the first few months of sleeplessness, waking up every few hours, coupled with the constant worry, every time her little one cried. “I think, every mother goes through this learning experience, where you slowly work out a rhythm and concrete routine and return to somewhat decent sleeping hours,” she explains.

Similarly, Dubai-based entrepreneur Samya Dev, was battling odd sleeping hours, twins, as well as her job. “I was sitting at home, with my laptop, running from zoom calls to sooth my sons, and back to work. I was running on fumes at that time, and I had no sleeping patterns, practically,” she says. “It took many, many exhausted meltdowns, squabbles with my husband, who was also working from home, to finally slip into a routine.”

Dev explains that she believed too many sleeping ‘myths’, such as trying to make sure the baby only sleeps at night. “Trust me, you never want to try that. The baby is exhausted, and sleep becomes more difficult. You learn that half the things that we’re often told, don’t even work,” she says.

No doubt, it's exhausting. Sometimes, everything seems to pile up and you just feel numb with the fatigue. The good news is, there are a few ways to handle that.

As both the young busy mums testify: Most ‘perfect sleep schedules’ are usually a myth. “Real life doesn’t happen in a bubble. Children get jet-lagged. Parents do get exhausted. Bedtime routines get bulldozed. What matters more than rigid rules is learning to bend without breaking, and just building flexible, grounded routines that work for you, and not against you,” says Dev.

As many new parents quickly discover, textbook sleep schedules rarely survive real life. Between cultural advice, online noise, and sleep myths, it’s easy to feel lost.  So, between the sleep myths and practical routines, here’s how parents can get through those tricky phases, especially while travelling, or juggling schedules. Dubai-based sleep consultant and Nurture 2 Sleep founder Julie Mallon, a panelist at Dubai's Baby Expo, joins several mums in offering expert insights

Busting the bedtime myths: What really works

According to Mallon, one of the most pervasive myths is that 'good’ babies sleep through the night early or self-soothe without support.” She explains, “First, we must define ‘sleeping through the night.’ For infants, this often means a 5–6-hour stretch; by 12 months, many children can consolidate sleep for 10–12 hours—but many still wake occasionally. What matters is not perfection, but progress.”

What’s needed, Mallon adds, is a reframing of perspective. “Sleep in the purest form is a learnt behaviour,” she says. In fact, as she points out, neuroscience shows that frequent infant waking is actually a protective mechanism—linked to the prevention of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), as well as meeting essential needs like feeding and emotional regulation. These myths, she warns, place unrealistic pressure on new parents and can disconnect us from our baby’s biological rhythms and attachment needs.

Dubai-based paediatrician Amya Mehndiratta echoes this view. “Waking up at night is normal, especially in babies and toddlers,” she says. According to the National Sleep Foundation, even by 12 months, many babies still wake once or twice during the night. “It’s not a failure. It’s biology,” Mehndiratta affirms. “What helps is consistency, not perfection. That means doing the same basic steps before bed—bath, pajamas, book, snuggle—even if the location changes. A familiar rhythm provides a sense of safety and cues the body it’s time to rest.”

Mallon also highlights that research shows positive long-term outcomes when children learn to sleep independently in a loving and responsive way. “Improved emotional regulation, better academic performance, and stronger mental health in later childhood,” she says. “But crucially, this does not mean ‘cry-it-out.’ Independence with connection is the goal.”

She emphasises that gentle structure, consistent rhythms, and responsive care, though sometimes a tall order, can all support better sleep, when tailored to a child’s individual readiness.

Sleep training is not a must: Listen to your baby, not the clock

As Mehndiratta says, “Sleep training can work for some families, but it’s not a requirement for good sleep. What is important is understanding your child’s cues and adjusting based on their age, temperament, and the context.”

If your toddler has just moved to a new daycare or you're jetting between time zones, expecting uninterrupted nights isn’t realistic. Instead of forcing a method, focus on sleep hygiene—things like limiting screens before bed, creating a calm wind-down time, and avoiding sugar or stimulating snacks close to sleep.

Practical shift: Rather than rigid bedtimes, try bedtime windows. If your child usually sleeps around 7. 30 pm., allow for some flexibility when traveling or during growth spurts. Watching for sleep cues, rubbing eyes, zoning out, clinginess,  is more effective than watching the clock.

Watch the baby, not the time

Don't try to keep your baby awake during the day, in the hope they will fall asleep at night.

Sleep pressure builds, just like hunger, explains Mallon. “Overtiredness leads to cortisol release, making sleep harder, not easier. Moreover, sleep researchers consistently show that well-timed naps and respecting circadian rhythms support better night sleep,” she says.

Co-sleeping with intention: When it helps, and when it hurts

“The question isn’t whether you co-sleep, but why,” says Mallon.  “Are you co-sleeping intentionally to support connection and breastfeeding, or reactively, out of exhaustion or because your child is unable to fall asleep alone?”

She  cites research from the University of Queensland, which shows that children still struggling with sleep at age five are more likely to have emotional outbursts and poor self-regulation in both classroom and playground settings. “Sleep quality matters for long-term emotional health, so if co-sleeping prevents everyone from getting restorative sleep, it may be time to gently rethink the approach. But this cannot be about judgment. This is about helping families find what works, safely, responsively, and sustainably.”

The nap trap: When to shift, not drop daytime sleep

It’s not about ‘dropping’ a nap, it’s about merging two naps into one, typically between 12–18 months, explains Mallon. “This shift, when timed well, can increase sleep quality by reducing fragmented rest and helping consolidate deeper stages of sleep.”

Look for signs: is your toddler resisting the morning nap but melting down by late afternoon? This is a clue they could be in the middle of the transition. Support them with quiet time, early bedtimes, and enough outdoor movement to build sleep pressure naturally. Nap transitions, when done too soon, often lead to overtiredness and more night waking—so tune in and be flexible.

Those bed-time battles

In today’s hectic world, two working parents, overfilled schedules, it is not always easy to be calm or available at bedtime. But the truth is: presence beats perfection.

As Mallon explains, a parent’s emotional presence is more impactful than rigid routines. Bedtime becomes smoother when we attune to our child’s feelings, not just their behaviour. This only needs our parents taking 10 minutes of calm connection, even just lying beside them or listening without distraction. That sense of ‘I see you, I am here’  is what helps the child’s nervous system settle enough to sleep.

Tips for a calming bed-time routine

• Keep it simple; consistency matters more than perfection.

• Dim lights from early evening to signal wind-down time.

• Use sensory cues: a warm bath, essential oils, or magnesium flakes.

• Include emotional connection: a shared story and a brief check-in about the day.

• Even five intentional, calm minutes can help regulate the nervous system and reduce stress.

Managing sleep while travelling

• Shift naps or bedtime by 15–30 minutes a few days before travel to ease the transition.

• Expose your child to morning sunlight at your destination to reset their internal clock.

• Anchor bedtime routines to the local time, not the time back home.

• Focus on preserving the bedtime ritual, even if timing changes.

• Portable sleep cues while travelling

• Familiar items like white noise machines, blankets, or a “lovie” are worth bringing.

• These cues create a sense of safety and familiarity, especially in new environments.

• Transitional objects can ease anxiety and support uninterrupted sleep.

Adjusting sleep schedules for jet lag

·         For babies under 4 months, this is an ideal time to travel as their rhythms are more flexible.

·         With toddlers and older children, start adjusting the schedule 2–3 days before travel.

·         Prioritise aligning wake windows and meals with the new time zone after arrival.

·         Allow a few days for flexibility; children adjust best with calm, consistent support.