From finding support to creating it: How the UAE helped this mother find a new path for her neurodivergent child

Dubai: The hardest part of Robie Torre-Gonzales' journey to the UAE was not getting the job. It was saying goodbye. 

In the Philippines, she had a promising career, two young children, and no real plans to leave the country. Her husband has already been working as an overseas Filipino worker (OFW) in Qatar, and she was focused on raising their family.

However, the children have been growing and the expenses were growing with them. Raising her eldest child, who is neurodivergent, has also brought additional financial and emotional challenges.

So she began applying for jobs abroad, hoping to find a way to provide more for her family. When an employer in Dubai has offered her a job, she had to make a choice that would change the course of her life.

For five months, she has struggled with it. Her children would cry during dinner and ask her not to go.

“As a mother, that was incredibly difficult,” Gonzales told Gulf News.

Eventually, the agency has arranged a conference call with the employer because they were considering cancelling the offer. They needed her final answer and she finally said yes. In 2009, she has arrived in Dubai. 

Two years after arriving, Gonzales has brought her children to the UAE. That was when another part of her journey began.

She has soon found herself navigating questions that many parents with a neurodivergent child will recognise: What support is available? Which options are right for my child? Where do I turn when I don't have the answers?

Gonzales has noted that way back in 2011, the conversation around neurodivergence and inclusion was very different. Schools have only been beginning to develop programmes and support systems for children with different learning needs. 

“There wasn't much visible support at the time and many parents were hesitant to talk openly about their children's needs,” recalled Gonzales.

Parents have created their own support network. They have talked, shared what they knew, and helped one another navigate unfamiliar territory.

For her, those early years have left a lasting impression because she knew what it feels like to be a parent looking for answers.

More than a decade later, Gonzales has highlighted that the UAE has changed and so has the conversation around inclusion.

“There is greater awareness, more openness among parents, and more recognition of the importance of inclusion. The government has also been very active in promoting initiatives around people of determination and inclusion,” shared Gonzales.

What made the change meaningful to her is that she has experienced it personally.

“I have personally seen the difference between where we were when my children were younger and where we are today.”

While motherhood remained at the heart of her story, Gonzales has also been building a career. The first years have not been easy.

She has arrived during a period when the global economy was still dealing with the effects of the recession. She has also entered a workplace where colleagues came from cultures and backgrounds very different from her own. 

“There were moments when managers could shout at you and you had to learn how to navigate that environment professionally,” exclaimed Gonzales.

Instead of allowing the differences to discourage her, she has decided to understand them. Her philosophy has been to learn before judging.

She has read about different cultures, tried to understand different ways of communicating, and made a point of talking to people rather than making assumptions. When language became a barrier, she has used a translator to ensure that her message was understood. 

“People may come from completely different backgrounds but if you take the time to understand them, you can find common ground.”

Gonzales’ career has gradually grown. She has been given more responsibilities and opportunities and promoted several times.

She has become an HR Manager, leading organisational development and learning and development. The career she has built in the UAE allowed her to provide a more comfortable life for her family. 

She has been able to send her children to better schools, travel, support siblings and in-laws, and continue investing in herself. At 45, she has pursued a master's degree.

The woman who arrived in Dubai uncertain about leaving her children has now built a career and life she never originally planned.

Unfortunately, the pandemic has ended her 11-year corporate career.

“If not for the pandemic, I probably would still be with that company today after 11 years,” stated Gonzales.

Losing the job has been painful but it also forced her to consider what might come next.

“Losing my job turned out to be a blessing in disguise.”

The setback has led her into entrepreneurship, including People Bureau International, a boutique HR consultancy, and later Senyara Learning, a learning support venture.

Gonzales has credited the UAE with giving her the space to take that risk.

“There is a strong entrepreneurial spirit here and the country has created an environment where people who are willing to work, learn, and take risks can build something for themselves. The UAE gave me the space to reinvent myself.”

Her personal experience as a mother has become part of that reinvention. She has built Senyara Learning rooted in the uncertainty parents can feel when trying to understand their child's learning journey.

The initiative has been slated to offer free seminars and parent learning conversations to help parents better understand their children's learning journeys and how they can support them.

“Sometimes you don't need someone to tell you what to do. You need someone who understands the journey and can help you navigate the options,” explained Gonzales.

It has been a message that carried particular weight because she once needed that kind of understanding herself.

Giving back has become another important part of Gonzales’ story. She has joined FILHR, the Filipino HR Practitioners in the UAE, in 2017, was elected president in 2019, and continues to serve on its board of directors.

The organisation has given her a professional community when she was finding her footing. She has later used the same community to help others.

Her work has included career counselling, learning and development, cultural understanding, and professional development. She shares her knowledge of people management, behavioural development, skills development, and career growth.

“Giving back isn’t always about a big charity initiative. Sometimes it's simply opening a door, sharing what you know, making an introduction, or telling someone, ‘You can do this’,” described Gonzales.

Through People Bureau International, she has also worked with community organisers and groups that want to provide learning opportunities, with sessions that can be offered free or at subsidised rates.

Gonzales has not considered her story as extraordinary. There are many OFWs who leave their families behind with the same dream, to provide more for their children.

What has shaped her were the moments when things did not go as planned. There have been career challenges, personal struggles, business difficulties, failed partnerships, and moments when she did not know what the next chapter would look like.

“I experienced what felt like rock bottom at different points in my life. But every time, I learned something, adjusted, and tried again,” remarked Gonzales.

That ability to pivot, she believes, has strengthened her more than any particular achievement.

“Sometimes we think success means having a clear plan and following it perfectly. My experience has been the opposite. Sometimes life changes the plan for you.” 

She added, “You don't always get to choose what happens to you but you can choose what you do next.”

Looking back, Gonzales can trace several versions of herself through her years in the UAE. She has come to Dubai because she believed a better future for her children was worth the pain of leaving home.

Years later, she has found that the future she was trying to build was not only about what she could give her children but also about what their journey taught her.

“When you know why you're here and what you're trying to build, it becomes easier to make decisions, especially when things don't go to plan,” said Gonzales.

According to her, there will be moments when you feel lost, homesick, tired, or uncertain.

“That's part of the journey. Ask for help when you need it. There is no shame in that.”

Somewhere along the way, the mother who has once searched for support for her child began to see that her own experience could become support for someone else.

“Find your purpose, stay open to possibilities, keep learning, and don't be afraid to pivot. You may not know where the next chapter will take you. But sometimes, that's where the best part of the story begins.”