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Your every argument can be counterargued, your every agreement can be disagreed, each like can be disliked, and each thought can be flipped upside down. It is all a matter of perception, how a person thinks and reacts, including yourself. Perceptions are based on experiences. Experiences build your emotional state.

Emotions precede thought

Your emotional state triggers thoughts and thoughts that you feed, acquire strength to get cemented as a belief. And what you believe goes on to become your reality.

For example:

Experience: At workplace, getting continuous extra work.

Feeling: Used.

Thought: ‘People take advantage of me’.

Belief: ‘People use me’/ ‘People are selfish’.

Individual’s reality: ‘People are selfish’. ‘People can use people/me’.

Experience: Child winning an award at school.

Feeling: Pride.

Thought: ‘My child is talented’.

Belief: ‘I am a good parent’.

Individual’s Reality: ‘My skills as a parent are good.’

Thoughts shape your world

A thought is an expression of your emotional state.

An average person has 12,000-60,000 thoughts per day, (National Science Foundation, 2015). At a basic level, we oscillate between two forms of thought; unwanted, that is negative thoughts or positive thoughts. Thoughts that we think continuously have the power to create our reality.

But where do these thoughts comes from? Emotions need expression; therefore, thoughts arise. One can ask further: But why do unwanted thoughts pop up more easily compared to positive ones? That is because unwanted thoughts have not been fully resolved. When not fully resolved, they sit high on the emotional ladder.

Which means that they are ready to pop up at the slightest hint. So, for instance, when a similar incident is experienced, the mind races and traces back that unfinished business (even when the experience is similar and not exact) to look for a closure.

Letting go

Some negativity gets countered when you express them, when expressed, they are released. Release is a natural process.

One of the effective ways to release limiting thoughts is to feel them and let them go, without becoming them: Here’s an example of ‘feeling’ versus ‘becoming’.

“I feel stupid” versus “I am stupid.”

“I feel angry” versus “I am angry.”

Do you notice the vibratory difference between the two sentences as you speak?

You don’t have to become ‘angry’ or ‘stupid’. When you choose to become, you start identifying yourself with these emotions. Ask: Is becoming serving me?

Also note: When you constantly become: ‘I am angry’ or ‘I am stupid’, you validate your own thought and so it becomes true to you, becomes your reality and you draw more of such experiences in your reality/experience because you live in that vibratory state.

Now here’s the contrast: when you merely feel these emotions, it is easy to let them go by changing the feeling because you are not them, you haven’t become them.

So, watch that unwanted thought, watch its shape and form, bring it into your awareness, see what it is making you. If you don’t like what it is making you (what you are becoming), then simply release it.

Here is another example for an exercise.

‘I am not good enough’ is a thought. Consider your emotional state when it arises. Toy with this thought, see it, without becoming it. Consider your feeling-associations with it. What and how do you associate, “I am not good enough” with? Incapable? Inept? Slow? Averting responsibility? Some of these words can overwhelm you, others will not, when arising out of will, such as the responsibility aspect if you do not wish to take.

Words that overwhelm you, need a changed narrative.

Changing the narrative

So, how do you move to a positive narrative?

To change an unwanted thought, you use your conscious mind and monitor the thought. This is possible by becoming aware of the thought.

It is also possible to stop an unwanted thought right on its track, before it speeds up. Simple commands to the conscious mind do the trick.

“I am aware of my thoughts.”

“I am responsible for my thoughts.”

“I know how to release my negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.”

“I cancel this negative thought.”

By these narratives, you neutralise the negative to glide over to the positive. Your conscious mind is hearing them, and your subconscious is listening to act upon them.

Another example (unwanted thought): “I am depressed.”

Changed positive narrative: “I am happy.”

Now, build upon this narrative;

“No matter what, I am always happy.” “When I am happy, I accomplish great things”.

Build the narrative further: “Happiness brings me all things I want”, “Happiness is my new status.” “Today my status is: happiness.”

“No matter what,” is a great narrative builder. It means you are ready to reject the excuses and move to an empowered (emotional) state.

Disclaimer: Urmila Rao is a chakra balancing meditation coach, Theta Healer and a sound therapist. All the ideas expressed herein are her own and not professional advice or medical prescription. She can be reached at: