Abu Dhabi: Making the leap from coupledom to baby-makes-three is exciting, exhilarating, and wonderful. It’s also exhausting, exasperating, and worrisome—a combination that can be toxic to the romantic relationship that made you parents in the first place.
A couple in Saudi Arabia were divorced after a quarrel over naming their new baby boy, with each parent wishing to name him after the grandparents, Saudi media reported.
A marriage counselling expert said the squabble over naming a baby would not lead to divorce unless, there are other marriage issues.
“The argument over naming the baby was just an apparent cause for divorce, and it was “the straw that broke the camel’s back”, which means there are accumulations of previous problems resulting from the lack of a dialogue between the spouses, and the decision-making system and so on were the main reason for reaching such a result, and if the matter reached the point of separation, then the couple should review their lives,” expert Ahmad Al Najjar said.
Al Najjar advised couples maintaining a marriage post-baby takes a lot of time and energy, but working on your relationship pays off in spades.
“While couples may have been warned that their lifestyle will dramatically change once the baby arrives, many are not prepared for the shift that comes with parenthood,” the expert said.
On why this transition is so hard and what couples can do to smooth things out, Al Najjar said caring for a new baby can create rifts in even the strongest of marriages.
“Adding a bundle of joy to an otherwise agreeable marriage can strain even the most patient and understanding of partners. Exhaustion, worry, differences in child-rearing techniques, and unmet expectations are common stressors for new parents,” he said.
The expert said it should be known that the issue of choosing the name of the newborn is not easy, but the baby has a right to be named one of the best names.
“It is wrong for the child to be called by a name simply because it is beautiful or trendy in the ear, without the parents being aware of the meaning or surprised that the meaning is unacceptable after a period of time,” he said.
Social researcher, Dr. Abdullah Al Qarni, said the dispute usually occurs about naming the newborn if there is no prior agreement between the spouses before the birth of the child.
“And we find among the problems that pop up - also - is the search of some women for strange and distinctive names, especially for girls, and this has positive aspects, contributing to the reviving of certain beautiful, authentic Arabic names that were not very common in the current generation,” Al Qarni said.
Al Qarni explained that one of the problems that occurs between the spouses is the husband’s conviction that he names his daughter after his mother’s, and this is not correct, because the name may be very old and inconsistent with the girl’s generation, and may cause social and psychological problems among her peers.
Al Qarni confirmed that the father must look at impact of the decision in the long-term, indicating that the girl may be affected a lot if her name does not suit her generation, and causes her a strong dislike of this name.
Experts also spoke of using trendy nicknames for much more unusual baby names. To some people, this may represent the worst of all worlds. Your child is known by a name shared with many others, while their “secret” proper name adds only confusion and no public distinction.
But there’s another way to look at it. You get to use an unusual formal name that you adore or that’s been passed down through your family or simply because you believe in unique names. And then you soften whatever can be difficult about having an uncommon name—no one knows how to spell or pronounce it, other kids think it’s weird while your kid feels out of step with their contemporaries—by calling your child by a nickname that’s much more easily accepted and liked.
