Don’t avoid the bad memory — reshoot it, and rewrite the scene.
So your boss took credit for your idea, your ex is 'thriving' on Instagram, or your dad finally said 'I’m proud of you' only after someone else did. Ouch.
It's easy to hit that tub of self-pity ice-cream and to be fair, we all deserve to do so, once in a while. But here's the thing: Hold on. Before you do so, here's how you can reframe, reboot, and maybe even laugh your way through the mess. It hurts, yes, and maybe it will always singe a little. Yet, there's a way to make make it better.
You can read psychologists told us, here.
Sometimes it’s not the situation — it’s your mood turning everything into a drama series. Our mood can really work as Instagram filters: Apply 'Melancholy grey' and suddenly even brunch looks tragic. Switch the filter.
If one tiny comment sends you spiraling, that’s not random — it’s your brain pulling up old receipts. Identify what memory it’s connecting to. Awareness breaks the loop.
Don’t avoid the bad memory — reshoot it. Step back, zoom out, and ask: what else was happening? Maybe it wasn’t betrayal, just bad timing. Context changes everything.
Detach from the emotional signal for a second. Pretend it’s someone else’s story. What advice would you give them? (Bonus: it’s usually way kinder than what you tell yourself.)
Your brain’s biased toward pain — it’s a survival thing. But that also means you can hack it. When you feel low, force recall three good memories that directly contradict your bad one. Rewire. Repeat.
That little voice that says, 'I’m such a failure? Fire it. Replace it with a more competent intern who says, “Okay, that was bad— but I’ve handled worse.”
You might be doom-scrolling your own brain. Catch these traps:
Black-and-white thinking: If it’s not perfect, it’s pointless. Nope.
Blame game: You’re not responsible for everyone’s bad day.
Negativity filter: Stop cropping out the good parts.
Catastrophising: It’s a missed deadline, not a natural disaster.
Your inner press release shouldn’t read: 'Disaster strikes again!'
Try: 'Learning curve in progress.' Change the language — your brain listens.
Every setback is a setup for a comeback. The job that dumped you? Maybe clearing space for something better.
Memories aren’t stone tablets. They are editable Google Docs. You can update how you tell the story — just keep it real. Aim for positive realism, not toxic positivity.
You can’t always control what happens, but you can control the remix.
Reframing doesn’t erase pain — it upgrades your perspective.
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