'We want to remain good, supportive fathers despite the distance between us'

Dubai: It's another busy Friday afternoon across the UAE.

Fathers and sons are playing cricket in the park, mothers and daughters are shopping in the numerous malls and extended families are thronging the country's water parks and beaches.

Family is an integral component of life for many people living in the UAE. However, it can also be a difficult place to live for one particular group of society — single fathers living far away from their children.

One person affected by the issue is British expatriate Tom Young. The 43-year-old is separated from his wife and lives alone in Jumeirah. He is also the founder of Distant Dads, a support group that allows single fathers to share their experiences with people in a similar situation.

Tom said: "It's my own project; I was on a leadership course in the US and one of the main things I learned was that you have to find your passion. I realised I was passionate about fatherhood and men's issues. As a result I conducted a straw poll among my friends asking if they thought there were any groups in the UAE that catered for the thousands of men who live away from their families. The answer was a resounding no.

"The idea was to create a support group for men who are geographically distant from their children. It is for men who seek support, ideas and solace from other people in a similar situation. I started up a blog dedicated to the issue in spring this year and now we hold regular meetings that are attended by around six or seven guys.

Dignified dialogue

"We discuss issues that are affecting our children.. We also stress the importance of maintaining a dignified dialogue with our ex-spouse. The meetings aim to provide a clean channel between father and child; we want to remain good, supportive fathers despite the distance between us."

Tom, originally from Yorkshire in England, has three sons aged 10, 12 and 15.

Fathers 4 Justice, a fathers' rights organisation in the UK, has gained notoriety over the years for staging often controversial protests to raise awareness of their cause. Tom, who is also the director of a coaching and development company in Knowledge Village, said: "I can empathise with the tactics used by members of Fathers 4 Justice because many of them are being denied access to their children.. I think in the UK the justice system is eschewed towards the mother and in some ways I believe that is right. The mother, unless she is wholly unfit to care for her child, is naturally the primary care-giver but there is a crisis of fatherhood in the world."

The fortnightly meetings at Distant Dads strive to be uplifting experiences and aim to focus on the positive elements members have experienced.

"A lot of guys feel a deep sadness about not being able to see their children regularly. A lot of guys who attend the meetings don't want to leave the house on a Friday because it reminds them their children are living somewhere else," Tom said.

"But the meetings are not all doom and gloom. There is a lot of celebration and the gatherings provide a source of compassion and understanding."

"I believe distance is irrelevant to being a good father. There are millions of poor fathers across the world living under the same roof as their children," Tom added.

Distant Dads meets every fortnight and is open to all single fathers living in the UAE. For more information visit http://distant-dads.blogspot.com/

Join in: Meetings open to all single fathers

Distant Dads meets every fortnight and is open to all single fathers living in the UAE. For more information visit http://distant-dads.blogspot.com/

Are you an expatriate living away from your family? How difficult does it make your daily routine to live without your family? Do such support groups help in making life easier for residents like you?