Teen vaping, drugs and secrecy: How UAE parents can spot warning signs without pushing them away

But vaping isn’t harmful. Everyone says so.

Dubai-based mum Kaveri (name changed on request) has to deal with this argument from her teen, every few weeks. “Her friends do it, and pulled out some article that it wasn’t so harmless, so she keeps trying to fight me on it.”

Aware that this is the age of the teenage secrecy, Kaveri explains that she has tried to keep all communication lines, and also been thorough in monitoring her daughter. “She gets extremely resentful, but I do worry that she might be doing it in private, so I have to keep making checks. She insists that she isn’t, but as a mother you tend to worry,” she acknowledges flatly.

The truth is, you can’t always be watching your child. Trends evolve quickly, misinformation spreads easily online, and harmful behaviours can often appear disguised as harmless experimentation.

So, how can families protect children without turning the home into a surveillance zone?

For parents, staying informed does not mean constantly policing every move. It means understanding the environment children are growing up in, both online and offline.

Lana Kaati, a Dubai-based mother, says social media, often blamed for exposing children to harmful trends, can also offer parents a window into what young people are seeing and engaging with.

“One of the positive things about social media, even though we do not always like it, is that when we are connected with friends, family or people in the same network or neighbourhood, the same videos and trends can start appearing,” she says.

She explains that this overlap can help parents better understand the online spaces their children are navigating. “If you have accounts on Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, whatever platforms your kids use, at some point the same videos will start showing up to you, and you will see what they are looking at or following.”

However, she says parents cannot rely only on what appears on their feeds, they also need to make an effort to stay informed.

“But it's on you to actively look at what’s trending. And if you cannot find that information from them, then you will have to search for it yourself to stay up to date with them.”

Furthermore, parents need to stop chasing every trend individually, as Dr Aseel A. Takshe, Dean of School of Health Sciences, Digital Innovation & Sustainability at Canadian University Dubai, explains. “As both a health sciences educator and a mother, I will be honest: this is one of the most difficult landscapes to navigate, precisely because it shifts faster than most of us can keep up.”

There is a rather thorny challenge to deal with: Vaping products are now designed to avoid detection. They’re disguised as USB drives, pens, and even smartwatch accessories, she says. It gets tricker: There are nicotine pouches that sit discreetly under the lip, and that’s what is marketed to youngsters.

Her advice is for parents to build a habit of regular awareness,  through reputable health organisations, schools and conversations with other parents,  ather than trying to monitor every possible trend. “Build a habit of periodic, targeted research. Subscribe to alerts from reputable sources such as the World Health Organization and local public health authorities. Check in once a month, not every day,” she explains, adding, follow school communications closely.

And talk to other parents. A simple, non-judgmental conversation at the school gate or in a parents' WhatsApp group can surface what is circulating among students right now, in your specific community, not just in the headlines.

Another mum, who doesn’t wish to share her name, feels rather mortified as she recalls how she used to ‘hound’ her son. “As my husband was a smoker and suffered so much because of it, I was relentless towards my son. I did frequent searches of his cupboards and bags, and as a result, when he actually did start smoking, he did it far away from home. He was honest to me later, saying he ate chewing gum, sprayed deodorant before coming home. But he did mention that he was just so nervous of me ever finding out.”

It was never meant to be that way. A relationship, fractured.

How does one find the line between protecting a child and invading their privacy? Perhaps, the answer lies in creating what Dr Takshe calls “ambient awareness”. “This means creating an environment where the digital world is not hidden behind closed doors.”

And that means, keeping conversations about online activity, casual, rather than interrogative.  “What did you see today that surprised you?’ or ‘Has anyone shown you something online that made you uncomfortable?’ opens more doors than ‘Let me see your phone.’” Technology, she says, can provide safeguards, but it cannot replace a relationship built on trust.

Moreover, the devil lies in the details. It’s the little changes that matter, before you assume the worst. When you know their normal, you notice the deviations. Has the child suddenly stopped talking about a particular friend? Are they sleeping less? Has their appetite shifted dramatically? It might not necessarily be trouble, but these signs are worth paying attention to.

There is rarely one definitive sign. Instead, experts say parents should look for patterns.

For instance, Dr Takshe pays attention to the unexplained changes in smell, particularly sweet or fruity scents that do not match any product in the house. She keeps an eye out for frequent nosebleeds, persistent cough or throat irritation, bloodshot eyes or sudden changes in energy levels.

With vaping, she says signs can be subtle. “Small, unfamiliar devices that could be mistaken for stationery or electronics, an unusual accumulation of small pods or cartridges, or a faint chemical smell on clothing or in their room.”

The behavioural changes may include withdrawing from family, unexplained spending, sudden changes in friendships or losing interest in activities they previously enjoyed.

However, she stresses that the goal should not be punishment. “My child needs to know that if they are ever in a situation involving substances, they can come to me without fear that my first response will be punishment.”

Parents are not the only ones trying to understand changing teenage behaviours. Schools often become the first places where shifts in friendships, mood, attendance or academic performance begin to surface — making collaboration between educators and families essential.

Claire Scowen, Vice President, Risk – Global Lead of Safeguarding and Child Protection at GEMS Education, says prevention cannot begin only after a student is already facing a problem.

“Education should be proactive, age-appropriate and embedded throughout school life.”

She explains that schools need to address vaping, drugs and other harmful behaviours through ongoing conversations, rather than one-off warnings. This includes educating students, training staff and helping parents understand the challenges young people may encounter.

“We are also proud to work in partnership with Dubai Police, who deliver specialist education to students and reinforce these important messages through real-life expertise.”

 But as risks increasingly move online, schools also face the challenge of keeping pace with rapidly changing digital trends.

“We must keep up to date with the rapidly evolving online world, understanding the platforms, trends and content that young people are engaging with.”

Simon Jodrell, Principal of Jebel Ali School, says the focus should not only be on telling students what not to do, but helping them develop the confidence to make informed choices. "At Jebel Ali School, we believe that education is one of the most effective ways to help young people make informed, responsible decisions.”

He says conversations around drugs, alcohol and other harmful behaviours need to be part of a child’s wider wellbeing journey, supported by trusted adults, counselling and open dialogue.

 “Our approach combines classroom learning, assemblies, specialist workshops, parent engagement and access to experienced counsellors, ensuring students have trusted adults they can turn to for advice and support.”

 Richard Drew, Principal of Jumeira Baccalaureate School, says prevention depends on creating an environment where students feel comfortable asking questions before they find themselves in difficult situations.