Off The Cuff: Curing a cold with friendly advice

A tiny sniffle kept irritating me. It began from somewhere deep in my nose and no amount of twigging the nostrils helped. I knew a cold was on its way to make my life miserable for the next few days. Common cold - if it is so common how come no cure has been found as yet?

After a few minutes the sniffle expanded into a sneeze. It was time to keep a box of tissues near at hand because sneezing accidents can be very messy. As the saying goes, 'when it rains, it pours.' A cough crept up on me, slowly but surely. It is bad enough feeling miserable, but there is always a cherry on the cake - a red nose.

I was well into my box of tissues, an unsoundly symphony of sneeze and cough reverberated all over the room. That's when the do-gooders stepped in. Each one had his or her remedy for my ills and they were willing to bet their gratuities that they had the ultimate cure.

Ginger tea is what you need. The trick is in mashing the ginger, don't pound too hard else you'd end up with paste, you just tap it and the juices will be trapped and it won't be of any use.

I was never any good at physics so I just used the knife handle with the force I thought was perfect. The ginger looked like bubble gum dried in the sun. I tentatively inserted it into my black tea (not too strong they said, else you lose the ginger flavour).

After a couple of cups I began to wonder if I could make iced ginger tea. But cold is not good for the cold, that's what I have been told, so I refrained.

Others swore by the inhalation process. Inhale for half an hour said one, another said 15 minutes should do the trick. I asked does the face steaming come for free?

It's difficult to smile after half an hour of breathing water vapour. Along with clearing my sinuses, I also had a face that felt like parchment and was afraid to smile lest my cheeks cracked apart!

Lots of juices said another, down them like there is no tomorrow. You need the vitamins. I always drink fresh juice when I am well, and if that didn't help keep this misery away, how would it help when illness strikes. I don't have a clue.

After having tried all the remedies, in different strengths and combinations, I felt a little better. That was after five days. I remember my grandmother telling me that if you have a cold, five days later it will trickle off. Yes the leaky nose has finally decided to dry up and I don't have to keep rushing for tissues.

All my do-good friends said, 'See, I told you it works.' I was too weak to argue. I smiled back, glad that I was feeling better and in no mood to hurt anybody's feelings.

Then a colleague said that I should have tried the cold shower, ice cream and iced water cure. It would have worked quicker. Well, I am not sure. If there happened to be a direct flight to the North Pole I would have bought him a one-way ticket.