Off The Cuff: Confessions of a house-hunter

It all happened one fine day. There I was a happy-go-lucky guy with not a speck of responsibility in the world, enjoying the sun, sand and sea at Goa in India, and then all of a sudden I found myself pitch-forked right into the thick of things at a newspaper office in Dubai.

The initial days were spent "house hunting".

"You can check out the classifieds in the papers, was the common refrain."

So classifieds it was that held my full attention for the best part of the first two weeks. The first telephone call I made was to a lady. "Yes we do have a room for letting out. There are some bachelors staying in the room and we would like to take in another, " she said.

"See, the place may go soon, so if you are interested, come quickly or at least book the place fast," she added.

I asked a colleague who was staying somewhere close to her place to give her an advance of Dh100 immediately. I landed at her place the next day. An Indian lady greeted me at the door and escorted me inside her house.

The house had a small entrance and an even smaller kitchen. I could make out about five doors in a row after the kitchen. She guided me to one of these doors and knocked.

And what a room it was! I was simply overwhelmed.

As far as I could crane my neck there were only beds and more beds!

About four beds were aligned against one wall, with another three against another wall. Besides each bed were the personal belongings of the "bed-spacers".

I was zapped!

How in the world did the lady manage to put in so many guys into one single room?
The lady turned to me and remarked, "Isn't it a nice place?"

She pointed out the far corner of the room to me and said that I could have that corner for myself.

I was completely lost for words as the lady waxed eloquent about the virtues of her place. She probably expected me to say "Wow!", but since no such response was forthcoming, she thought maybe she needed to explain a few facts of life in Dubai.

Just then one of the doors to the adjoining room opened and I saw six men march out. I looked askance at the lady. "Oh, they are the tenants in the other room," she explained.

And how many "more" rooms did she have?

"Oh another two, where just five persons stay in each room," she ventured nonchalantly.

My head was reeling. Was this a house or a hostel? I looked towards the one door, which would get me out of this place.

She asked me when would I like to shift into the room?

"I don't think so," I muttered. "I somehow did not find it to my liking," I added.

She blew her top. "Do you know, just because you blocked the place I turned away so many other people? Now who is going to bear the loss?"

"Well you can give me Dh 400 in addition to the advance," she demanded.

"But why?" I protested.

"Because I will be losing my rent of Dh 500 for this month and all because of you," she retorted.

I quietly shelled out another Dh 400 from my now empty pockets and thrust it into her greedy hands.

I had learnt a very sharp lesson indeed.

The hunter had now become the hunted!